Top 10 "I Love Lucy" episodes

We're always amazed by how well this 1950s sitcom continues to hold up. Then again, this show practically invented the format. Time has been quite kind to Ricardos and the Mertzes, thanks perhaps to the fact that almost every episode was written by the same three people: Madelyn Pugh Davis, Bob Carroll Jr,. and Jess Oppenheimer. Geniuses all.

1. The one with Vitameetavegamin. "Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular?" ("Lucy Does a TV Commercial")

2. The one where Lucy and Ethel tear down and then rebuild Ricky's barbecue. "If I'd have know this is what friends are for, I'd have signed up as an enemy." ("Building a Barbecue")

3. The one where Lucy keeps stopping the train. "Did you pull that cord?" ("The Great Train Robbery")

4. The one with the wax tulips and the runaway lawn mower. ("Lucy Raises Tulips")

5. The one where the boys dance with the hot young girl at the country club. ("Country Club Dance")

6. The one where Lucy gets stuck in the freezer. ("The Freezer")

7. The one where Lucy meets with a Hollywood studio head and pretends to be Ricky's agent.
"Released?" "Released." ("Ricky Needs an Agent")

8. The one where Lucy switches all of the clocks in the apartment so she won't be late, but then they're late for an important event anyway. ("Lucy's Schedule")

9. The one at the chocolate factory. "Speed it up, boys!" ("Job Switching")

10. The one where the Ricardos sells the Mertzes their washing machine. "Look what happened to your washing machine." ("Never Do Business with Friends")

Six football plays that sound dirty

1. Wishbone Option
2. Skinny Post
3. Double Reverse
4. Buttonhook
5. Naked Bootleg
6. Stop and Go

Favorite beer evolution

Miller Genuine Draft (a.k.a. "MGD"), 1991-1998
Guinness, 1998
Rolling Rock, 1998-2002
Newcastle Brown Ale, 2002-present


On Stephen King

Stephen King paperbacks were a staple of the Cheese Fry's bookshelf during his high school and college years. They filled one entire shelf, arranged neatly in order of publication (of course), spines crinkled and worn with use.

We've lost touch with Mr. King since the early 1990s (though we are faithful readers of his Entertainment Weekly columns), but much of his work has stuck with us. No one is better at mixing everyday pop culture ordinariness with scary, out-of-the-ordinary thrills and chills. But there's more to it than just cool scary stories.

King may be a best-selling populist author, but he's ambitious, long-winded, and literary in ways that the Stephanie Meyers and Dan Browns of the world never will be. His books aren't always high-concept. It's not just about the hook. His many books and short stories (he's nothing if not prolific) can be sprawling and messy. He's really trying to understand who we are and why we do what we do. He'll try anything once, it seems, always trying to stretch himself as a writer. So not everything is a home run. He often has trouble with his endings. With set-ups so outrageous, there are sometimes no easy resolution that plausibly allows the hero to save the day. And we do stipulate that some of his books are just plain awful (don't ever, ever read The Tommyknockers). This odd inconsistency makes him seem all the more mortal and fallible. He's not perfect. He's just very, very good at what he does.

Here are the best:

1. The Shining - Probably the scariest book we've ever read.
2. Firestarter - For those of us who love an evil-government-conspiracy-thriller, this is a classic.
3. Pet Sematary - This one goes to some very dark, very depressing places. Not exactly entertaining, but certainly memorable.
4. The Green Mile - One of King's fastest-paced, most spry novels.
5. The Stand - Even though it's an epic story, the book is probably too long. But it's one of the best post-apocalyptic stories where the end of the world prefaces a literal clash of Good versus Evil.
6. The Dead Zone - King's most high-concept book: what would you do if you had the chance to kill Hitler before he rose to power?
7. Cell - King's take on zombies. The Cheese Fry loves zombies. Ergo we loved this book.
8. On Writing - King's detailed, fascinating rumination on the struggles and challenges of being a writer. Essential reading for would-be writers.

Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger...

Here at the Cheese Fry, we're somewhat low-class. We'll occasionally enjoy a fine steak and $20 piece of sushi, sure. But sometimes nothing beats a messy fast food cheeseburger to clog your arteries and stretch your waistline.

The best places to go, in order:

1. Fatburger (Southern California)
2. Sonic
3. Whataburger (Texas)
4. Carls Jr. (Southern California)
5. In N Out Burger (Southern California)
6. Dairy Queen
7. Burger King
8. Wendy's

You'll note McDonalds didn't make the cut. That's because their food is gross. And no, the irony is not lost on us.