Knee-jerk review: "The Marvels"

1. By now we should know that negative online chatter about a movie before it even comes out often times has little -- if anything -- to do with the actual quality of the movie.  Too many "critics" have axes to grind.  Did the chatter predict the underwhelming box office performance or did the chatter sort of cause the underwhelming box office performance?
2. The real problem, of course, is overall Marvel fatigue - a mix of market oversaturation and increasingly overlapping and complicated plots.  Right or wrong, it looks like The Marvels is going to be the poster child of that growing disinterest.  It had to happen eventually.  Did Disney and Marvel really think the gravy train would never end?
3. The movie is very much... okay.  Fun at times.  But it certainly could have been much, much better and more satisfying with a sharper execution.
4. For example, there's a lot of good conflict and drama to be mined from Kamala meeting her idol Captain Marvel.  Kamala's room is covered in Captain Marvel stuff; it borders on creepy stalker obsession and it's a fun moment when Captain Marvel sees it.  But aside from a couple of quick lines along the way here and there, the movie just sort of glosses over the whole thing.  Why?
5. The whole movie, in fact, feels glossed over and rushed.  If you're going to tell this story... take a moment and, like, tell it right.
6. The opening is rocky as the movie wades through a lot of backstory exposition to bring everyone up to speed.  We had a sinking "uh oh" moment about ten minutes in.  (As you may have heard, two of the three leads were introduced in Disney+  TV shows which presumably limits how much wide audiences might know about them.  The opening almost plays like a lengthy "previously on" intro to a complicated TV drama.)
7. But once the three Marvels team up, things perk up considerably.
8. Iman Vellani as Kamala Khan steals the whole movie.  Her starstruck teenager energy shines.  The "Ms. Marvel" TV show worked because of her wide-eyed charisma.
9. In fact, we sort of wished the movie had just pushed everything further and fully embraced the comedy and farce of the body-switching premise.  Aside from one inspired montage where the women learn to control the switching, the movie doesn't really take advantage of its own fun gimmick.  (Worse, the rules of the switching aren't clearly explained.)
10. Another example of missed opportunities: there a planet where everyone wears flashy, bright colors and sings instead of speaks.  We suspected we were about to see a full-on Bollywood style dance sequence.  Alas, it didn't happen.
11. Apparently, the Flerken alien cats are polarizing.  Some people actually don't like them?  But we found the cats pretty funny and provided some unexpected plot turns.
12. We've had enough of the Skrulls and the Kree, thank you very much.
13. Ditto climactic duels of CGI laser beams.  Ugh.
14. The villain's plot is unusual, but she's just not very memorable.  Don't these kind of things need brash, scenery-chewing bad guys?
15. The credits tag is as delightful as it is completely inevitable.
16. Our Brie Larson crush persists.
17. At some point, Sam Jackson needs to write a tell-all book about the years and years he's spent across TV and film playing the same Nick Fury character.

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