Knee-jerk review: "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

Are you kidding me? No way the Cheese Fry pays good money to see that pile of crap. We can smell it from here. Michael Bay is the enemy of all that is good and just about cinema. Even his "good" movies - Bad Boys, Armageddon, The Rock - are barely watchable, so packed full of unending explosions, testosterone-fueled posturing, and machine-gun editing that makes it utterly impossible to follow the action. Pearl Harbor is about as offensive a movie as you can make, turning a real-life tragedy into popcorn entertainment packed with cool CGI effects. Look, kids, see how cool it is to see the Arizona get sunk! Imagine 9/11 as a Jason Statham action movie. That Michael Bay is a multi-millionaire surrounded by people who think he's a genius is the sort of ridiculous situation that can make your bile boil. But then again, that's showbiz... where talent has little to do with success.

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