2.06.2011

Live blogging Super Bowl XLV


* Random Super Bowl memory #6: Sitting at the laptop throughout Super Bowl XLV (Packers beat the Steelers) to blog snarky, pithy commentary that no one will read. Next year: Cowboys over Jets, 28-24. See you there.

* This feels right, don't you think? Roethlisberger is a solid two-time Super Bowl winner. He's just not a three-time winner.

* We just hope Brett Favre is watching from his Mississippi compound. The Packers have officially moved on, Mr. Unretirement.

* For the Steelers, one... last... chance... No good!

* Packers now lead by six. The pessimist in us figures this will just set up Roethlisberger to score a touchdown as time expires to win the game by one point and further burnish his image.

* To the geniuses in the stands holding a "You're in Steeler Country" sign. Geographically speaking, you're in Cowboy Country.

* Jennings is wide open. The Cheese Fry could have run that route and got the touchdown.

* The Packers' Jordy Nelson: it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

* Harbinger of things to come? Steelers fumble the ball away.

* We're calling it now with 19 seconds to go in the third quarter. Steelers will win the game. Packers look completely overmatched.

* Joe Buck and Troy Aikman aren't in the booth. They're in the Command Center.

* Could ESPN's Colin Cowherd be right? His take: Aaron Rodgers is great at executing a first-half game plan, but struggles in the second half when the opponent makes adjustments and a quarterback must do more quick-thinking improvisations. That's what seems to be happening here.

* "Imported from Detroit." Clever. But we'd still never buy a Chrysler, Eminem.

* Harbinger of things to come? Big sack on Big Ben.

* Harbinger of things to come? Steelers get a huge defensive stop. The momentum, as they say, is turning Pittsburgh's way.

* The secret to getting the Cheese Fry to see a "Pirates of the Caribbean" sequel? Give it a running time of less than two hours.

* Wondering which seats the old men from the Visa spot are sitting in. You know, the one where those characters have never yet missed attending a Super Bowl in person.

* Yep. It's a game. 21-17. Wake up, Green Bay.

* Steelers are about to make this a game.

* Ozzy Osbourne probably seems clever and trendy in some Madison Ave. ad agency boardroom, but that's not the same as being clever and trendy in the real world.

* How frustrating it must be to get knocked out of a Super Bowl because of injury.

* Don't say this Super Bowl is coming to you live from Dallas. The taxpayers of the City of Arlington paid a lot of money to Jerry Jones for that stadium. Give them their due.

* Random Super Bowl memory #5: Watching Super Bowl XXXVIII (Patriots beat the Panthers) among a group of retirees on a Caribbean cruise and being one of the few people rooting for New England. Didn't know gray-haired folks could give dirty looks like that.

* We didn't much like "I've Had the Time of My Life" when it was on the radio the first time in 1986. Sorry, we think it's written "(I've Had) The Time of My Life." How pretentious are parentheses in pop songs?

* You may not like the Black Eyed Peas, but at least they're still relevant and making hit songs, and not some creaky relic of classic rock appealing only to the 40+ demo. Which is what the Super Bowl halftime usually delivers.

* To the layman, doesn't it seem like the Black Eyed Peas are really just Will.i.am and Fergie? What do those other two dudes contribute?

* All that hype about Fox Sports' "Sounds of the Game" and it's just a bunch of unintelligible shouting and hollering (with the occasional swear word dumped). Lame.

* You didn't hold 'em, Packers. Now it's 21-10.

* Hold 'em, Packers, hold 'em.

* Are we really so unable to delay gratification (or be alone with our thoughts) for more than 60 seconds that we need the new Chevy Cruze to read our Facebook page to us? This is not a good sign, people. The radio is enough of a distraction while you're piloting several thousand pounds of metal and glass at 50 mph, don't you think? Really, can't you wait to learn that your next-door neighbor had a Coke Zero for lunch?

* Regarding Jennings' touchdown catch, as the coach said to Nick Nolte in North Dallas Forty: "Now that's concentration."

* If the half ends 21-3, the Packers will win the ball game. Print it.

* Harbinger of things to come? Big Ben throws interception number two. Perhaps the K-word is alive and well. Karma. Don't worry, Ben. Losing the game won't affect your ability to pick up coeds in college bars.

* Not sure if the people freezing outside the stadium, having paid money to watch the game on a TV not completely dissimilar from the TV they probably have in their living room, are loyal NFL fans or stupid NFL fans. Or both.

* We don't understand exactly what "Super 8" is about, but we want to go to there.

* Sell it all you want, Marvel and Paramount. But "Thor" looks really, really stupid.

* Maybe the U.S. military should look into applications for Coca-Cola. If it can turn a dragon's fire-breath into fireworks, maybe we should be pouring it on Iran's nuclear reactors.

* Oh yay. Another "Transformers" movie. Just what none of us needed.

* We have "Almost Famous" to thank for giving new life to Elton John's annoying "Tiny Dancer."

* So much for a Super Bowl shutout.

* As we said in college, that there is some sticky D, Packers.

* We're a red-blooded, girlcrazy American male who (somewhat) proudly had a Maxim subscription for many years, but the Go Daddy commercials are always on the wrong side of being skanky and sleazy.

* Something undeniably universal about the panic from accidentally hitting "Reply All" on an e-mail.

* Big Ben's not going to last the full game.

* Claymation Eninem. Brilliant.

* Harbinger of things to come? Packers get a "pick six," a football term that seemed to have suddenly come into vogue this season. Like last year's "bubble screen."

* Kia Optima commercial. Best so far (not counting the movie spots).

* "Cowboys and Aliens." One of those genius ideas that seems so obvious, you wonder why you didn't think of it. Plus Olivia Wilde.

* What's with the violent Pepsi Max commercials? Two so far have featured someone getting hit in the head with a can.

* Harbinger of things to come? Packers score first touchdown.

* "Fast Five," huh? Do we need to have seen the last three in order to understand it?

* Hard to believe that not too long ago the networks didn't keep the score in the corner of the screen. Seems like such a no-brainer now. Thanks, Fox Sports.

* Switching a cheeseburger for a bar of soap. Funny, Pepsi Max.

* Thanks to TweetDeck's realtime updates, it's like we're watching the game with Sports Illustrated's uber-columnist Peter King.

* Uh oh. Mendenhall breaks off a big run.

* Random Super Bowl memory #4: The Cheese Fry was only seven when Super Bowl XIII was played (Cowboys lose to the Steelers). While we have only a hazy memory of the game, our strongest memory is the realization that each team got to have its logo painted in one of the end zones.

* There's no way to conclusively study it, but one wonders what role the Madden video game played in elevating the average fan's understanding of the Xs and Os of football. It certainly changed how we look at the game.

* How many times does a ball change hands at the bottom of a pile?

* Harbinger of things to come? Steelers go three and out.

* Random Super Bowl memory #3: Being unable to see Super Bowl XXXIII (Atlanta loses to Denver) because of work-related travel and having to see a small slice of the game at the Salt Lake City airport.

* Mike Tomlin is the same age as the Cheese Fry? Look where he is. Look where we are. May be time to start drinking beer.

* You have to admire Deion Sanders' wardrobe. Look at that shirt.

* Shannon Sharpe was a great player, but he may be one of the most annoying sports commentators working today. Something about the way he over-enunciates drives us crazy. It's like his teeth are too big for his mouth.

* Now the Super Bowl tries to pretend it's as important and significant as world history's greatest and most tragic moments... and even hired Michael Douglas to prove it. Yes yes, the game unites us all, but sometimes the back-patting self-importance gets ridiculous. It's a game, people, that involves a weirdly-shaped leather ball.

* "Heeeeaaaaahhhh... That's so dumb."

* LivingSocial. Funny ad, but we don't get what they're selling.

* "Kung Fu Panda" seems underrated. Way more funny and action-packed than it gets credit for.

* How pathetic that the Cheese Fry and Ms. Cheese Fry are actually having a discussion about whether Christina Aguilera is getting a divorce; A) who cares? and B) how is it that we actually sort of know her personal situation? Thanks, culture of "Access Hollywood" and Us Weekly. Those brain cells can surely be better spent on other, more important questions.

* Random fact: playing a marching snare drum with a tradition grip is no easy feat.

* Mike Tomlin always looks like he should have laser beams coming out of his eyes to better burn your soul to a charred crisp.

* Lea Michele: a future ex-Ms. Cheese Fry.

* Very sad that the Bears didn't get Walter Payton a touchdown in Super Bowl XX. William "Refrigerator" Perry is a bad, 1980s punchline unworthy of carrying Payton's used towel.

* Falcons on the bus. Play 60. Yes!

* Isn't Dr. House always risking his career? Yawn.

* Eagerly anticipating "Battle Los Angeles."

* Jennifer Aniston's agent should get a bonus for finally getting her into a movie that will be a sure-fire hit.

* We're mostly okay with Christina Aguilera, but we're not a fan of those who take the national anthem and twist it into an opera performance full of arpeggio runs and long, look-at-me notes. Reckon she won't be able to resist the temptation.

* At least Sam Elliott lent his gravel baritone to both teams' clip packages and didn't play favorites. He's also selling us trucks today (see below).

* Prediction: Packers 31, Steelers 24.

* We're not sure if we know anyone who still watches "The Simpsons" every week as if it were still 1998.

* We've heard that some people don't like Joe Buck. He may come off a little prudish and nerdy, but he seems solid to us. To us, the best play-by-play guy remains Pay Summerall.

* There's a graduate thesis to be written about the patriotic imagery and tough-guy language used in television ads to sell pickup trucks to American males. We may have to explore this further.

* We don't get NASCAR. And it's probably for the best. How many sports can one person really watch and still get out of the house?

* Random Super Bowl memory #2: Drinking too much to fully remember the Cowboys win over the Bills in Super Bowl XXVIII. So maybe it's not really a memory.

* Clearly, the middle of the Declaration of Independence isn't quite as catchy and poetic as the preamble.

* We hope we get to see the "Play 60" spot with the Atlanta Falcons one last time.

* Not sure why the Super Bowl needs to include a civics lesson. Thanks, Colin Powell, for explaining the importance of the Declaration of Independence.

* Another reason to root against the Steelers: keeping ex-Cowboy Flozell "False Start" Adams from getting a Super Bowl ring.

* "Limitless." Interesting.

* A former girlfriend worked for Taco Bell's media campaign. One of the company's prime customer demographics: college students out late at night who were drunk, looking for a greasy meal. This was accepted as fact.

* We took a tour of Cowboys Stadium. It's bigger than it looks. Impossibly big. You can put the Statue of Liberty on the 50-yard-line and close the roof over her torch.

* As much as we always enjoy the "Fox NFL Sunday" crew, if we had to dump one... it'd have to be Michael Strahan. Howie Long covers the same ground, don't you think?

* Regarding "Drive Angry," does the average viewer really fall for the trick where "reviews" are quoting critics and bloggers from fanboy places like Ain't It Cool News?

* What's the harder phone call to make? Calling NFL commissioner Roger Goddell to break the news about the fire marshal removing thousands of seats? Or calling Jerry Jones?

* We're not sure Ben Roethlisberger will ever completely rehab his image among non-Steeler homers, no matter how many disarming sit-downs he may do with Terry Bradshaw.

* Random Super Bowl memory #1: During the pregame of Super Bowl XXXVII, our viewing party was interrupted by a neighbor who was a full-on, card-carrying member of Raider Nation. This character was decked out in silver and black head to toe. Including the obligatory face paint. He was loud, cocky, and 100% fired up for certain victory, the flames likely kindled by several cases of room-temperature Coors Light. But once the Raiders fell behind, and then lost to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers... uh oh. Raider Neighbor stopped popping into the party. We always wondered how sad he must have been wiping off the face paint, looking in the mirror, listening to his old mix tape of Judas Priest and Dokken, and thinking about what could have been. Especially considering the absurdly perpetual futility of the Raiders ever since.

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