1. The Cheese Fry once lived around the corner from the theater formerly known as the Kodak. Oscar week was always a nuisance of street closures and bright lights. We walked down there a few times mid-week to see the bleachers going up and the red carpet laid out (always covered with plastic until the last second) or the giant wooden Oscar sentries rolled into place. And then the day of the event, the sky would be filled with noisy helicopters, the streets with stretch limos. Cool, huh? Maybe it wasn't such a nuisance after all.
2. We want to like Kristin Chenoweth. We do. But we can't. She seems to be trying... oh... so... hard. Her neck cords are always popping and straining. And why is she the one doing the red carpet interviews? Was Terri Hatcher and Kelly Ripa busy? Then again, at least Kristin has been in movies. Kelly Rowland is even more of a mystery hire.
3. Nice shot of the long red-carpeted staircase leading up to the theater lobby. You'd never guess those heavy red drapes on the sides are hiding tourist-trap mall stores like an ice cream shop and a perfume discount outlet.
4. There's always someone who shows up on the red carpet who completely enrages us because of their mere "why-did-you-get-invited?" inclusion. Who will it be this year?
5. We have succumbed to Channing Tatum's charms. Sorry.
6. The "Hooray for Hollywood" Diet Coke spot gets us every time. Subtle, classy, and perfectly capturing our rose-tinted, magic-houred nostalgia for the magical way movies used to be made in an organized studio system. Also a nice shout-out to the people who stick the signs on the billboards - they're important too.
7. We heard nasty rumors about Lara Spencer's cold-blooded ambition, but can't remember the details. Does that mean we shouldn't still dislike her? Because we do.
8. We remain fascinated by this obsession with celebrity fashion and the shallow "who are you wearing?" question. Was it Joan Rivers who started this nonsense on her E! shows? We get the appeal from an old-Hollywood glamour angle. These are attractive, larger-than-life figures dolled up to look their absolute best. But there's now also this ridiculous need to rank best-dressed and worst-dressed. Don't these people live with enough scrutiny already? It's enough.
9. Entertainment Weekly editor Jess Cagle seems like a classy dude. And he's out in the red carpet hinterlands on Highland Avenue interview Daniel Radcliffe, who always looks startled.
10. We harbor a long-standing crush on Naomi Watts, but she doesn't look so good tonight. And with that... we just became a part of the problem we attacked in number 8 above. 11. "Oscar Road Trip." What a clever promotion, letting ordinary moviegoers hold an Oscar and get tickets to the show (or is it just tickets to the red carpet grandstands?). Sometimes it seems like the audience is barely a factor, doesn't it?
12. It really is all about Kristin Chenoweth in these interviews. Jeez.
13. "I think she looks pretty there," says Mrs. Fry regarding Nicole Kidman. We, however, note that her face doesn't much move above the nostrils.
14. Nice moment where we get a glimpse of what it's like to shuffle down the red carpet for dozens of whirring cameras. A friend who worked in the TV world says this is called "step and repeat." Smile, pose, walk two steps, smile, pose.
15. Mention now of another great program, this one that brings film students to Hollywood to learn about the Academy and Hollywood filmmaking. These kinds of outreach programs are so great, but we hadn't heard about it until now. Same with that "Oscar Road Trip." Shouldn't that better-publicized to generate goodwill?
16. We just noticed there's no Ryan Seacrest. No wonder we're enjoying ourselves.
17. That Oscar Mystery item better be something real and cool after all of this awkward build-up. (Update: it is. A pair of ruby slippers from The Wizard of Oz.)
18. The people sliding past DeNiro as he gives his red carpet interview. We wonder if they're nudging each other and whispering, "There's DeNiro!" "I know!"
19. The 44-year-old Jennifer Aniston is aging oh so well. That is all. Sigh.
20. Adele is towering over Chenoweth. Looks like Adele could pop her in her mouth like a Gummi Bear. We wish she would.
21. Oh, George Clooney and his little trophy girlfriends. What a life.
22. Whispered reverentially by Mrs. Cheese Fry regarding Sandra Bullock: "I love her."
23. Sorry, but Anne Hathaway has become insufferable with her phony humility and false modesty. She's her own biggest fan. We're not saying this isn't true about every actor, but she's got to do better at hiding it.
24. We barely recognized Renee Zellweger. It's almost tragic the way actresses feel a compulsion to get cosmetic work done.
25. Cool how the people in the show's control room are all wearing tuxedos.
26. At this point, hip-hop is just an amusing footnote to Queen Latifah's career, isn't it?
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