The Cheese Fry hadn't set out to make Elf a holiday tradition, but at this point it sort of has. For at least the last four years, Elf has been a part of the living room flatscreen rotation just as often as the granddaddy of them all, "you'll shoot your eye out, kid" A Christmas Story. (Runner-up: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. We love It's a Wonderful Life, of course, but that movie is a four-course meal rather than a fun bite-sized snack, you know what we mean?)
Both Elf and A Christmas Story deliver sharp jokes and - essential for any enduring classic - several memorable set pieces that have aged well. But you cannot discount the cozy nostalgia factor. Just as we'd like to image a simpler life in a 1940s Indiana with department store window dressings and double-dog dares, there's something equally appealing about spending Christmas as upper-class professionals living in Manhattan. We'd argue it's that same snuggly hot chocolate "wouldn't it be great?" vibe that keeps the unending conveyor belt of Hallmark Christmas movies rolling.
Here are our favorite lies from Elf.
1. “You sit on a throne of lies.” - Perhaps the best joke in the whole movie as Will Ferrell's Buddy confronts an impostor Santa that smells like "beef and cheese." Upon further review, however, would a fancy department store like Gimbels hire someone this awful to be Santa? Fun fact about Gimbels here.
2. “We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.” - Watch Buddy pour maple syrup (which he carries with him for just such an occasion) on spaghetti. Moments later comes the movie's most hilariously juvenile gag, when Will Ferrell lets loose an epic burp from guzzling an entire two-liter of Coke.
3. "I'm a cotton headed ninny muggins." - Apparently the worst insult an elf can muster, given the shocked expressions and horrified gasps that follow.
4. "Buddy, you're more of an elf than anyone I ever met. And the only one I would want working on my sleigh tonight." - Ed Asner perfectly cast as Santa resolves Buddy's story in a Screenwriting 101 moment. The character who's been so despondent to have his identity as an elf put into question gets complete and total validation. He may be a human, but he's the best elf ever.
5. “You did it! Congratulations! World’s best cup of coffee! Great job, everybody!” - The perfect moment showing Buddy's fish-out-of-water naïveté. See also: eating chewed gum off a subway handrail, tasting perfume, running around and around in a revolving door, and trying to give a wild raccoon a hug.
6. “This place reminds me of Santa’s workshop. Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.” - Buddy's dad Walter (James Caan's most appealing role? discuss) gets rid of Buddy by sending him down to the sweaty, smoky Empire State Building mail room.
7. "Son of a nutcracker!" - We really should add this one to our cuss list.
8. "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!” - Part of the Code of Elves, which gets planted early in the first act and a perfect payoff in the third act. The script (credited to David Berenbaum) may seem silly, but it is tight and polished. Bonus points for giving Zooey Deschanel's Jovie an arc of her own: she faces her own fear in the climax by having to sing in public to, you know, save Christmas.
9. “I planned out our whole day. First we make snow angels for two hours, and then we’ll go ice skating, and then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookie Dough as fast as we can, and then, to finish, we’ll snuggle.” - It's the idea of suggesting a snuggle to James Caan that takes this joke to a whole other level.
10. (tie) "He's an angry elf." and "He must be a South Pole elf." - Buddy's clueless scuffle with Peter Dinklage's arrogant book author is still shocking in its "are they really doing this?" irreverence.
Today we learned we're the same age now as Mary Steenburgen was when she played Emily Hobbs.
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