8.12.2023

Why We Hate This Cinemark Spot

The Cheese Fry's local movie theater is a Cinemark.  It's ten minutes away, so we go to the same one every time.  (We prefer row C, the last row in the front section so there's no chance a noisy talker sits behind us.)

Cinemark's trailer packet before the movie always, always features this ridiculous spot pushing the theater's concessions app.  We hate it.  It's not just because we have to sit through those 30 seconds of hell every time we see a Cinemark movie, although that can't help.  We hated this spot the very first time we saw it.  Let us explain why.


* Why is this idiot going to get snacks towards what seems to be the movie's big ending?  We can understand an unexpected bathroom break, but this guy walks in with a huge tub of popcorn like he just arrived at the theater.  Note also that he enters with that obnoxious empty-cup straw noise.  So he's somehow slurped down the entire drink on his way from the soda fountain to the theater?  Don't insult our intelligence by trying to make a point with a completely unrealistic scenario.

* Look at these people's absurd reactions - in slow motion no less, an accompanied by some kind of aria to further heighten the psuedo-drama of it all - to whatever they're seeing.  Wide eyes.  Slack jaws.  Bouncing and pointing.  Hands over mouths.  Laughter.  Also tears.  The dude who throws up his arms signaling a touchdown.  What a douche.  Can you imagine him sitting next to you?  We don't think audiences from the 1910s who saw a movie for the very time in their entire lives had these sorts of over the top, bug-eyed, cartoon responses.  

This got us to thinking if there was ever a twist or an ending to a movie we saw in theaters that might come close to inspiring this sort of wild reaction from us.  Spoilers below.  Off the top of our heads...
1. The penis reveal in The Crying Game
2. The hair gel gag in There's Something About Mary
3. DiCaprio's shocking murder in The Departed
4. The big ghost twist at the end of The Sixth Sense
Huge, unexpected moments, but none of these inspired us to throw our popcorn bucket in the air.

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