Notes from a "Wheel of Fortune" Taping

If there is a club for game show geeks who have attended a taping of the Big Three, we are in that.  We attended a "Price is Right" taping in the final weeks of Bob Barker's reign back in the mid-2000s and shortly thereafter, we attended a taping of "Jeopardy" when Alex Trebek was the host.  On our recent trip to Los Angeles this spring, we got tickets to "Wheel of Fortune."  We're definitely more hardcore "Price Is Right" and "Jeopardy" fans, but one cannot deny the longevity and appeal of "Wheel of Fortune."

1. This what was we were most excited about... when the contestants glance off camera during the game, what exactly are they looking at?  Well, there's two giant flatscreen TVs on the wall just to the left of the puzzle board.  On the top vertical screen, all three contestants are listed by their corresponding wheel "pointer" color.  This tracks their cumulative winnings throughout the game, plus also the money they have in the bank during the current game.  The bottom horizontal flatscreen provides a list of all the available letters.  When someone calls a "C," for example, then that letter disappears off the list.  Vowels are grouped together below the consonants.  That bottom screen also reminds the contestants of the puzzle category.  "What Are You Doing?" seems to be pretty popular right now.  
2. So during the game if someone flubs a line or there's a technical problem, after the episode ends, they'll go back and do retakes as if it were a scripted show.  That was a big surprise to us.  There was a microphone problem when Ryan Seacrest hugged a contestant goodbye, so the two of them had to totally recreate that spontaneous moment for a retake.  The best moment came when there was a problem with the overhead shot of the wheel (should that be capitalized Wheel?) when it landed on a specific wedge.  After the episode ended, the prop guy - there is apparently one guy who is charge of the wheel - had to spin the wheel just right so that it would land on that specific wedge for the camera.  It took him about eight tries to nail it.  The audience cheered.
3. They do pipe in the sound effects you hear on the show, like the slide whistle bankrupt sound and the "doo-doo-do-do" chimes for a new puzzle.
4. No, the audience doesn't shout "Wheel!... of!... Fortune!..."  That's recorded.
5. We saw three episodes taped.  Each one took about an hour.  Not just for the redos, but there's also a lot of adjustments to be made to the wheel - replacing the prize amount wedges - during the commercial breaks.  The biggest delay came when a flashing plastic wedge wasn't flashing.  They had to take it apart and repair some wiring.  Also fun was to watch the one guy whose sole job during the breaks was to come wipe down the padded vinyl contestant railing.  He did it every time.
6. There's apparently a very active alumni group of past contestants who seem pretty obsessed with the show and also very impressed that they were on it.  We stood in line with a couple of them and then later had the misfortune of sitting behind them in the bleachers.  They were shameless in making sure everyone around knew they'd been on the show.  One of them even wore her game day name badge.  "Look at me!"  It might be interesting to talk to a contestant, but not these obnoxious characters.  They were pretty loud and abrasive in the bleachers, almost acting like they were special guests - the stage manager had to ask them to knock it off at one point.  There are no repeat contestants (we think), so these two are essentially milking a single 30-minute appearance.
7. Before each game, the contestants all shoot short promos for their hometown station.  That's when we were reminded by the stage director that it's "Wheel of Fortune" not "The Wheel of Fortune."
8. We can't be 100% sure, but there was a stagehand near our section of the bleachers holding up laminated sheets for Ryan.  We think this was to help cue him which contestant was due to spin next so he doesn't have to keep track of that.
9. Vanna came out and talked to the audience, of course.  She told us that she's worn thousand of outfits over the years, but never the same thing twice.  They're all loaners from designers.  Vanna does repeat the shoes, though.
10. Apparently, they're looser with solving the puzzle these days.  Seems like in the Pat era you had one shot and God forbid if you fumbled your words.  But now you have a set amount of time to solve, phrasing and rephrasing as needed until time runs out.  But that timer failed on one of the puzzles we saw, so they threw that whole puzzle out and did that segment over again with a new one.
11. There's a whole other set-up during the final prize puzzle what with that little prize wheel.  It gets wheeled out from backstage on a special cart and three guys then slide it into position next to the larger wheel.  After the show is over, they load it back into the cart - securing it with several bolts - and wheel it backstage.
12. The stage is pretty wide but not very deep.  In that familiar wide shot you see of Vanna standing at the puzzle board, there's about three cameras crammed together just out of the shot to the left, all pointing at the contestants.  They've framed it perfectly.  One inch to the left and you'd see them all.
13. Vanna no longer has to even touch the puzzle board.  Apparently, there are lasers that sense her hand and reveal the letters.
14. It may be blasphemous, but we think Ryan is better at this than Pat Sajak.  He's smoother and more genuine.  Pat could sometimes seem a little above all of that gameplay nonsense.  Like he just sort of tolerated all of this.
15. The show can control the height of the riser the contestants stand on - if you're too short to reach over that railing (sanitized during every commerical break!) to spin the wheel, they'll lift the platform for you.
16. If you're in the audience, you're doing a lot of clapping.  We never noticed this watching the show, but you clap when the contestants spin, you clap when they get a letter, you clap when they solve.  The show told everyone that when Vanna claps, you clap.  Plus there's one of those old-school flashing "Applause" signs hanging over the bleachers.
17. As you might imagine, there's a camera on a ceiling mount pointing down at the wheel.  Pretty cool.
18. At no time did the wheel spin by itself.  Those "beauty shots" (as they call them) of the spinning wheel was initiated with a hard yank by that prop guy in charge of the wheel.  By the way, unlike "The Price Is Right" there is no penalty for not spinning the wheel all the way around.

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Knee-jerk review: "Novacaine"

1. Maybe this is the old man perspective, but it sure seems like there was lot more of these kinds of entertaining, highly-polished B-movie actoiners back before streaming took over the world and people used to actually go to theaters every weekend.
2. We were pleasantly surprised that the filmmakers took so long to establish the main characters and their relationship before the shooting started.  If audiences care about the characters, they'll be more emotionally invested in what happens to them.  Screenwriting 101.  The dialogue in that first act sets up the entire movie.  Lean and sharp.  Plot comes from character wants and needs.
3. We really, really should have seen that plot twist coming.  We've gotten so rusty.
4. Gruesome.  We didn't understand at first how the bad guy died at the end, but then suddenly we realized and it was completely insane.  Gross.
5. Jack Quaid has definitely got the gawky, stammering geek thing down.
6. Imagine slurping down a shot of ghost pepper sauce.
7. We love movies that take a high-concept premise like "imagine a guy who feels no pain tangling with ruthless bank robbers" and then explore it in every possible way.
8. We can take take most movie violence no problem since we know it's all fake, but there's something about breaking bones that crosses the line for us.  Maybe it's just the sound effect that adds that extra level of squeamish realism.
9. By now doesn't everyone know that the bad guy is never really dead the first time he's "killed"?
10. Poor Nigel.
11. Everyone is hiding something.

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Ranking Wait Lines at the Airport

In order of increasing irritation and aggravation --

6. The line to board the plane, part one - At least at the gate you have room to sort of stretch out on on those fake leather chairs, charge your phone if you're lucky to find a working outlet, grab some overpriced food and drink, ignore the background noise of whatever toothless pseudo-news program is running in the background (even vanilla-flavored CNN seems to trigger certain folks), and study the strange assortment of people walking by in all kinds of clothing, hairdos, ages, and body types.  It can be a long wait, but at least you have amenities.
5. The line to check your bags - Like so many businesses now, customers are asked to do extra work that used to be handled by airline employees.  And so we dutifully use kiosk touchscreens to print boarding passes and luggage tags.  This free labor, of course, provides no cost savings.  The good news is that this line usually moves pretty quick, both at the kiosks and then also dropping off your bag at the counter.  We imagine this step will soon be eliminated somehow and we'll end up being the ones to toss our bags onto that conveyor belt.  What service do those clerks provide other than asking about lithium batteries? 
4. The TSA security line, part one - These lines to confirm your identity to bored TSA agents (digression: notice how suddenly they're taking your picture now? a very sly, quiet further eroding of our privacy) are extremely long and snake around like you're about to get on a Disneyland ride.  Thankfully, most of the time these lines move much faster than they look.  Most of the time.
3. The line to board the plane, part two - Showing your boarding pass goes pretty quick with the agent at the gate, but then you hit the rush hour traffic jam of the jetway as people you can't see are undoubtedly up there in the plane moving like blind, slothful turtles as they creep along the aisle, wedging their enormous bags into the overhead bins, then hunting for their seat.  It's a jarring transition from the spacious comfort of the gate seating area.  If we ruled the world, we would 100% ban all carry-ons that won't fit under the seat in front of you.  No joke - we'd rip those overhead bins right out.  They're a cancer.  If you're one of those annoying people who insist on wasting everyone's time cramming a too-big suitcase into the overhead bin, you are part of our national nightmare.  Do better.  Check your bag like a civilized human.

2. The TSA security line, part two - Aside from our old man gripe that most of this is just empty theater to make everyone feel safer, the main irritation here is that every airport seems to have different rules.  Shoes on or off?  Laptop in or our?  Out bag goes on the belt or in a tray?  Does the TSA even realize they there's no uniformity?  Sometimes they seem annoyed that you're confused.  Bonus points for the glassy-eyed TSA agents who don't even really try to communicate what we need to know because they're just muttering their canned lines over and over like a robot slowly dying inside.
1. The line to get off the plane - You're tired and grumpy, shoehorned into that tiny little seat.  You're ready to go.  But instead, you're stuck for what seems like an eternity, staring into oblivion as dozens of rows of people in front of you move in super-slow motion to deplane.  Zero urgency.  What's most frustrating is the time it takes to actually see something, anything happening in those first few rows.  Again, the biggest culprit involves having to reclaim the overhead bin suitcases.  Cancer.

For more fun Cheese Fry rants about air travel, check out this 2016 post.

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Fourteen Observations from a Club Volleyball Tournament

1. There's something overwhelming when you first arrive at a club volleyball tournament in the morning before any games have started.  Dozens of courts - and if you're at a big tournament in a convention center, if could be well over a hundred courts - filled wall to wall with players warming up.  As far as the eye can see, there are balls popping into the air.
2. We regret to inform you that volleyball tournaments are big business.  Playing the games can often feel secondary to the larger goal of separating parents from their money.  There's the fee to get in, of course.  Then there's also the obligatory overpriced tournament sweatshirt (if it's $50, consider yourself lucky).  Then there's also the endless food options - we'd never before heard of an acai bowl until we started going to tournaments - that are of course A) ridiculously overpriced and B) much more appealing than the trail mix, fruit, and salami sticks you packed for your daughter.
3. There's always one player on every team who seems to take it upon herself to always go running after a ball that's sailed off the court.
4. The possible severity of an on-court player injury often feels inversely proportional to the amount of time it takes for a trainer to mosey over to provide aid.  The girl is crying on the court, holding her knee, but you take your time, bro.  No rush.
5. If you don't pay attention, you will get hit with a ball.  Guaranteed.  Most dangerous scenario: you're facing the team as they're warming up with serves coming right at you.
6. The timing of pool play "waves" is a mixed bag.  The morning wave typically starts at 8:00am, which means you have to get up very early to arrive early for warmups... but it also means you're done by 1pm and thus have the rest of the day to do what you want.  On the other hand, an afternoon 3:00pm wave of pool play lets you sleep in, sure, but it can make for a very late evening.  The worst combination, of course, is an afternoon wave (figure you'll back in the hotel by 9:30pm) followed by a morning wave the next day.  Brutal.
7. There's always one player on every team who is the master hair braider.
8. There is an etiquette to spectator seating that, unfortunately, isn't always followed.  Parents of the teams actually playing on the court get first dibs.  Then, after they're settled and only after they're settled, the rest of the seats are available to the general public.  A corollary to this: once your team is finished, get your slow ass up out of those chairs as expeditiously as possible so parents of the next team up can sit down.
9. There's always at least one set of parents who sit far apart from the other parents.  Reasons may vary.
10. Some referees just aren't good.  It had to be said.
11. We still don't understand the "in the net" rule.  But it's okay... you don't need to try and explain it to us.
12. We have learned the hard way that every club team has drama among players, parents, or both.  The only question is what form that drama will take.  It's not "if" but "when."  Usually it involves the emotional monster that is known as Lack of Playing Time.
13. We need a sociologist to study the subculture of dads responsible for recording the team games.  It's an intricate ritual of setting up the spindly tripod, arranging the camera just so, keeping track of the score via some kind of app, delivering encouraging shouts and cheers, and - eventually - taking it all apart again and uploading the footage into a pricey game management system.  Bonus points for those inevitable moments when an errant ball sends the whole thing flying.  Odds are even that any given dad can move fast enough to rescue the tripod before it hits the ground.
14. Here's the deal: while it's nice to play teams from other cities and states, do volleyball families really have to get on a plane (and spend all of that money) to accomplish that?  Cars can drive pretty far and for a lot less money.

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Knee-jerk review: "The Substance"

1. We've been trying to limit these "knee jerk" posts solely to theatrical releases we see in a darkened theater, but, more and more, Hollywood makes distribution deals with streamers that limits traditional releases just long enough to make movies eligible for awards.  We had to rent this one from something called Mubi even though Demi Moore just won a high profile Golden Globes award for her performance.  
2. We hate streamers.  Netflix, Prime, Hulu, Disney+... they all ruined Hollywood with the lure of quick bucks that in the end has completely undermined the box office model for movies and the syndication/rerun model for television and, along with it, killed most of the traditional entertainment economy in Southern California.
3. So here's the deal with The Substance.  The first 3/4 is mostly a masterpiece of unsettled dread, queasy satire, and icky body horror about the absurd lengths women go to in chasing youth and popularity because of cruel social pressures.
4. We won't spoil how exactly this all plays out.  There's a black market experimental drug that does something to Demi Moore's character.  That's all you need to know.
5. We learned after the fact that the writer-director is French, which makes sense.  This is a movie with a dark, cynical European sensibility.  And a lot of full frontal female nudity that an uptight American director would never dare include.
6. What also makes sense is that the director apparently calls David Cronenberg and David Lynch among her inspirations.  If you know anything about those two filmmakers, then you know what kind of movie The Substance is.  Everything's a little off and weird like Lynch - it looks like our world, but it's a generic sort of simulacrum.  And then things also get gross and squeamish like Cronenberg - bodies are abused and mutated and transformed in gross ways.
7. To offer an example for how this movie is Lynchian, two locations feature ridiculously long narrow hallways that are completely impractical and totally weird.  But the characters treat them as perfectly ordinary.
8. It's that last 30 minutes or so that really spoils the whole thing.  Our best comparison is Danny Boyle's sci-fi movie Sunshine (2007), which we found to be a brilliant and masterful movie for the first 90 minutes before the wheels totally came off in the last act.  With The Substance, writer-director Coralie Fargeat goes way over the top for ending, then decides to go even further in pushing her premise to extremes.  Audacious without a doubt.  But also completely off-putting.  Which, admittedly, is probably her point.
9. Not much dialogue, really.  This is a very visual movie.  The art direction is top notch.
10. And considering it's a movie about Hollywood and show business, the cast is pretty small too.  There's a claustrophobic, lonely vibe to it all that works.
11. The horror elements of the movie are getting all the attention, but the most powerful sequence comes when we see Demi Moore struggle with debilitating anxiety and self-doubt as she prepares to go on a date.  As objectively beautiful as she may seem, she only sees an old ugly woman in the mirror.  It's tragic.
12. Dennis Quaid chewing the scenery.  Good for him.
13. If a scary organization tells you that the weird drug they supplied you is for a single use only, believe them.
14. We are suckers for movies like this about secret underground companies with hidden entrances and mysterious leadership.  One of our favorite movies is The Parallax View, which features a secret company that recruits assasins.  Other favorites: The Game which offers customized experiences for the wealthy, and Old which involves an unethical clandestine lab seeking medical cures.  Another variation of this is the entire community (complete with rules and bureaucracies) of killers in the John Wick universe.
15. The yellow coat is a symbol for an egg yolk, right?
16. "What has been used on one side, is lost on the other side. There's no going back."  Scary.
17. Special recognition to the opening sequence that uses a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame to chart the familiar rise and fall of the lead character.  Brilliant.
18. Demi Moore probably deserved that Golden Globe.

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