Our five biggest posts ever

Among the many interesting-but-useless tools that our kind host service Blogger offers is a measurement of post hits.  Behold, below, the five most popular posts in our history.

1. September 2012, Knee-jerk review: CBS' Surivor: Philippines - We were thrilled to see 1100 hits for this topic and started looking for Mark Burnett's number.  And then we saw the poorly composed string of comments that suggest a nefarious spambot infiltration of some kind.  So... never mind.

2. May 2013, Knee-jerk review: Star Trek Into Darkness.  The 96 hits for this one seem more in line with the small, loyal Cheese Fry following.  We're vocal, some might say pathological, Star Trek fans and could imagine how our opinions on the matter might appeal to some and encourage aggressive link-forwarding.  Thank you.

3. May 2013, 176,248 miles.  The somber eulogy to our dearly departed Subaru hatchback attracted 69 hits.  We think it's a universal story of frustration ("I'm still driving this thing?!") and admiration ("this thing is still running?!"), something that appeals to all of us who drove a first car right into the ground.

4. February 2011, Live blogging the 83rd Annual Academy Awards.  This drew 66 hits, a number likely inflated by the Cheese Fry's attempt to goose audience size by creating an Oscar pool contest and announcing it over Facebook.  People may have checked it out, but only six brave souls entered the contest.  It was our first and last contest to date.

5. July 2011, Green Grinch should be a Crayola color.  This post pulled in just 39 hits, a pathetic number that somehow still earns this post a top five spot.  What's sadder, that fact or the realization that this post contains little actual content?  We just posted a cool graphic we found somewhere else.  Tomorrow, we'll be posting a picture of whatever we first find on Google.

And here's a fun little chart graphing our sawtooth traffic ebbs and flows since 2007. 

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The Cheese Fry gets organized

For those dozen or so Cheese Fry regulars out there who want a better way to sift through our voluminous and invaluable content, we've started adding searchable tags to each post.  Now if you want to access all of our "Knee-jerk reviews" you can do so.

Look for these tags, which Blogger calls "labels," at the bottom of each post.

You're welcome.

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Ask the Fry

For our six or seven regular readers out there, here's an opportunity to get involved and create some of that, you know, interactivity they always talk about. We want to hear from you. Have a question? A post idea? A complaint? Let us know.

E-mail us at: thecheesefry@gmail.com.

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Cheese Fry posts you won't be seeing in 2012

2011 was a banner year for the Cheese Fry, with a whopping 80 posts. It was by far our most prolific year, thanks mostly to a very active September that involved numerous knee-jerks to the new fall TV shows (New Girl and Person of Interest, yes, we're still watching).

We're hoping for an equally prodigious 2012. We're not sure what pop culture ephemera will catch our eye, but we can guarantee it won't include these topics:

"The prequels are way better than the original trilogy"

"Hipsters taught us a valuable lesson about great music"

"Why we love the Kardashians"

"The joys of traffic gridlock"

"The day we won the Powerball $78 million lottery"

"Dallas Cowboys: undefeated"

"Knee-jerk review: the Twilight franchise DVD box set"

"We wish more people talked in movie theaters"

"Live blogging the People's Choice Awards"

"Justin Bieber is underrated"

"How 'Hawaii Five-O' accurately portrays genuine police work"

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Blow off the cobwebs

No new Cheese Fry posts since July 31? Can that be right? Did we miss all of August? To our two or three loyal fans, we will try to do better. We know you rely on our uninformed opinions about things that don't matter.

But if you aren't already aware of this, please be sure to take a look at the Cheese Fry's Twitter feed. We're often tweeting more than we're blogging, so if you need a Cheese fix, look no further than the little black Twitter box on the right hand side of this page. Just scroll down a bit. You can't miss it.

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2011 will be the Year of the Tweet

The Cheese Fry has at last joined the social media tsunami and taken steps to take full advantage of its foamy fury.

Specifically:

1. You'll find now under each post a little "Tweet" icon that will allow those interested to tweet any worthy blog entry. Take one down and pass it around.
2. You'll also notice in the far right column a feed to the Cheese Fry's Twitter account. Our invaluable 140-character observations on pop culture will be featured not only on Twitter but here on the Blogger "mother ship."
3. This blog is also now 100% searchable via your local neighborhood search engine.

Tell your friends and spread the word!

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Is this thing still on?

Yes, it is. We've been very negligent in blogging duties. (We missed the entire frickin' month of March!) We will try to do better.

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Our 300th post

The Cheese Fry has been live in (on?) the blogosphere since May of 2005. This is our 300th post for those of you out there who are counting. Such a momentous milestone deserves an important post, a reflective post.

We're often asked, "Why not post more personal entries about friends and family?" Sadly, that is not what The Cheese Fry is about. So what makes the cut for The Cheese Fry? What's the prototypical post?

There are three guidelines, all of which have evolved over the years. When we started the blog, we weren't sure how we would fill two posts, let alone 300. Luckily, like any good creative endeavor, The Cheese Fry has assumed a personality of its own. We're just following its lead.

The guidelines, as of now...

1. A post must deal with popular culture. Usually, this will involve movies, television, and music. But anything is fair game.

2. If not #1, then a post must offer some sort of tidbit, rant, or insight into the world around us.

3. If #1 and #2 can take the form of a numbered or bullet-pointed list, so much the better.

4. Nostalgic, 1980s-1990s reminiscence will be added as often as possible.

And now back to the blog.

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One full order of cheese fries

Regular readers of The Cheese Fry, all nine of you, will notice our shiny new header image.

The photo* is indeed of a plate of hot cheese fries, served up last January at Snuffer's in McKinney, Texas. These are the cheese fries from which this blog got its name. If you're the sort to keep a list of things to do before you die, add towards the top "have a plate of Snuffer's cheese fries." That's no joke.

Back in the day, you'd get your order of cheese fries (inexplicably called by the more haughty name "cheddar fries" on the menu) in a basket lined with crumbled tin foil. Welcome to the 21st century, where cheese (sorry, "cheddar") fries arrive on a porcelain dish.

* Not pictured: the side of chives, bacon, and jalapenos.

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The hiatus is over!

In television, a "hiatus" refers to a short pause in a show's broadcast schedule when a network temporarily takes an under-performing show off the air for a few weeks. In reality, "hiatus" is code for "cancellation," a kind way of quietly removing a show from the schedule without the humiliation of announcing its been cancelled. It's only after audiences have forgotten about it does the bad news come out.

The good news is that the Cheese Fry has not been cancelled. It really was on an August hiatus.

But now we're back, leaner and meaner than ever. For those handful of people who expressed sadness at our lack of postings... thanks! We didn't know anyone was actually out there.

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Visitor number one and counting...

Let's all welcome the newest Cheese Fry addition: the webpage site meter. You can find it at the bottom of the page.

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Chives or bacon?

Despite what some may argue, there is no finer cheese fry than that served by Snuffer's in Dallas. Maybe it has something to do with that weird foil bottom.

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