* The more we watch volleyball, the less we understand the rules. Just when we have it all figured out (you can only score if you're serving, you see), something happens on the court that completely baffles us. We've now more or less given up and just crinkle our face to make it look like we understand everything and are carefully considering all levels of strategy and execution. You think they're buying it?
* The worst is when the ball rolls to our feet and we have no choice but to put it back in play. But who's serve is it now? We weren't paying that close attention. Well, we were paying attention but now with the pressure of everyone looking over to see where the ball went we can't remember who served last. Does the ball go back to that team... or this team? Invariably, we choose wrong and toss the ball to the wrong side, only to suffer the humiliation of an 8-year-old girl correcting our mistake and sending the ball where it actually belongs.
* Some of the other volleyball moms aren't drinking water from their fancy big plastic tumbler, if you know what we mean. This isn't speculation. This has been verified.
* As exhilarating as it can be to watch your kid's team run up the score on a hapless opponent, it's just as disheartening to have your kid be a member of that hapless team getting steamrolled by a superior opponent. We've experienced both ends of that particular scoreboard spectrum, once during the same two-hour period.
* Here are the six kinds of players you'll find on a youth volleyball team:
1 The kid who's afraid to touch the ball with anything approaching intent, so the player ducks away from an incoming ball, serves with a wet-fish half-ass swing that barely makes it to the net, and otherwise cringes the entire time they're out there.
2. The kid who might as well be on the junior varsity team now, making sophisticated digs and spikes and launching untouchable, rocket serves over the net. How is that little kid already that good? Sometimes they're even the shortest kid on the team.
3. The kid that's completely inconsistent, making MVP moves one moment, then flailing around cluelessly the next. You never know what you're going to get.
4. The coach's kid. Sometimes they're pretty good, but mostly they're not.
5. The hapless kid that tries so hard every time but just can't make anything happen. They're returning one ball straight up into the rafters, shanking another into the face of the scorekeeper, or swinging with all of their might and completely missing (the ball never got within five feet of them). They're trying, but it's a disaster every time.
6. The kid who's out there doing anything but paying attention. This player is dancing and laughing or craning their neck around to look at the scoreboard or chatting with the player next to them or staring at the floor. What they're not doing is staying focused and watching the ball. This is probably your kid, FYI.
* You don't hit the volleyball with your hands. You hit the volleyball on the flat part of your forearms. We didn't know this. That is apparently called by some "the platform."
* This whole youth sports thing isn't a cute little bit of recreation, people. It's an industry. The facility we use is packed with as many as ten games going on at once. It's a cacophony of whistles, tennis shoe squeaks, ball thuds, and parental cheers. And if everyone's paying as much as we're paying, that place is essentially a suburban Fort Knox.
* It's always fun when your kid's team is down by a point or two with the clocking winding down and there's zero urgency or hustle from anyone to try and get in a few more plays to get the go-ahead score before time expires. In the final seconds, it's like everyone purposely goes into foot-shuffling underwater slow-motion when it comes time to reset and toss the ball back to the server.
* It can be very hard to maintain a positive, encouraging attitude when the ball drops straight down equidistance between three players on your kid's team and no one moves an arm or a foot even one inch to try and return it. This happens multiple times during a game.
* We think that snack counter popcorn just came out of the popper. How can it already taste so stale?
* To say we get tired of yelling "Rotate!" at games would be an understatement.
* As mentioned, we don't know much about volleyball, but even we have determined that at this level, teams live and die on the ability to serve a ball over the net. There's just not a lot of returning. But then you have these kids serving the ball by tossing it up and palm smacking it like they're Misty May at the Olympics (rather than underhand hit it out of your left hand). If we weren't so lazy, we'd keep track of how many palm-hits actually go over the net and stay in bounds. If it's more than 15% we'd be shocked. But a majority of the kids do it that way regardless.
* We understand that in the world of youth sports, coaching usually comes down to whichever parent has been sufficiently guilted into volunteering. It's the luck of the draw as to whether your $115 (and ten weeks of your life) will be spent with a coach that will patiently and competently teach skills or a coach that has no idea what they're doing and doesn't seem inclined to learn.
* But if you're not going to volunteer, you really have no room to complain. Ms. Cheese Fry didn't volunteer to coach this summer because she didn't think she'd do a good job. Only now, seeing the coach we ended up with, does she truly know what it means to "not do a good job." We're calling it a teachable moment.
* Maybe adults should end their workday by lining up and slapping hands with their coworkers with a mumbled "good game." Would the world be a better place?
* Move your feet and get in front of the ball!
7.13.2018
Knee-jerk review: "Solo: A Star Wars Story"
1. It's not bad. Hardly an enthusiastic endorsement, we know.
2. Probably helped that we went into the theater with pretty low expectations, what with all of the ongoing stories of production problems: fired directors, reshoots, acting lessons for the star. What a mess. All of that bad publicity can make it hard to evaluate the movie on its own terms. Is it really good? Or do we think it's good mostly because we know it could have (should have?) been much terrible?
3. Donald Glover shines as a younger Lando Calrissian, surprising absolutely no one.
4. We think the problem may be that the filmmakers are telling a story demanded mostly by the needs of Disney's ledger sheet. No one's particularly eager to see exactly how Han Solo met Chewbacca or made the Kessel Run or won the Millennium Falcon from Lando. Are they? Do we need to see every throwaway line from the original trilogy dramatized and adapted into a $200 million feature film of its own? (A similar problem faced 2016's Rogue One, but that movie at least delivered a story with new faces and a killer hook: just how did the Rebel spies steal the plans to the original Death Star?) Better perhaps instead to just tell some random Han Solo smuggling adventure rather than exploring his entire origin story as if he were a Marvel superhero.
5. Lando's maybe-more-than-friends relationship with his droid L3-37 is pretty unexpected, if strange.
6. Some say a good movie needs only deliver two or three memorable moments and a strong ending. By that yardstick, Solo more or less fits the bill. There's a great ice train hijacking sequence in the middle, some fun double-crosses at the end, and also the satisfying moment when Han outplays Lando at sabacc (which seems to be a real game with rules and everything).
7. To us, Woody Harrelson can do no wrong. He's just always great.
8. Some Star Wars fans had a problem with the casting of Alden Ehrenreich, whose previous big credit was a somewhat funny bit in the Coen Brothers' otherwise unfunny "comedy" Hail Ceasar. This argument never made sense to us; actors have long reinterpreted characters and roles. There's been two Dumbledores, five and counting James Bonds. Even so... While Ehrenreich does an pretty good job capturing that Solo swagger and crooked-smile charm, his whiny voice is markedly different from Harrison Ford's surly growl. Turns out to be a bigger distraction than you might imagine. In other words, we think the producers could have done better.
9. These Star Wars Story stand-alone sequels - as opposed to the numbered "official" saga movies - were originally envisioned by Lucasfilm to be a sort of sandbox series to allow up-and-coming filmmakers to create Star Wars stories with different looks and sensibilities. Which is why Phil Lord and Chris Miller (who directed the hilarious The Lego Movie) were hired to do Solo. The idea seemed to be to give the movie a completely different, quirky vibe. But along the way, Star Wars executive changed their mind presumably when they realized that Lord and Miller were making a movie along the same line as The Lego Movie. Shocking, right? Why hire a blacksmith unless you want him to make you a horseshoe. And so, the producers stepped in and asserted creative control (just as they had for Rogue One) by firing the directors and hiring Ron Howard(!). You can sort of see the Lord and Miller screwball tone bubbling underneath Solo. Howard may be an A-list director, but he's all competent polish and little genuine creativity and art (see also: The Force Awakens director JJ Abrams). While we understand the worry about letting Solo get too oddball... the easy answer would seem to be to cut the budget. That is, make those stand-alones cheaper and leaner movies that don't need to gross $700 million worldwide to earn back their budgets. But Hollywood never asked us.
10. What all of this means is that while Solo has to date grossed over $200 million in the U.S., it's been deemed a failure and has reportedly led Lucasfilm to reconsider future stand-alone movies.
11. We can't take credit for this observation, but we completely agree: the appeal of Han Solo in the original 1977 Star Wars was that he's a selfish opportunist who ultimately decides to join the rebellion. But here in Solo, he's already got a selfless heart of gold, his decisions driven by his determination to get back to his old girlfriend. It just feels... off somehow. At the very least, Solo should show how a idealistic rookie criminal gets burned so many times he becomes the cold-blooded smuggler we later meet in that Mos Eisley cantina. But Hollywood never asked us.
12. Fun, but perhaps too forgettable.
2. Probably helped that we went into the theater with pretty low expectations, what with all of the ongoing stories of production problems: fired directors, reshoots, acting lessons for the star. What a mess. All of that bad publicity can make it hard to evaluate the movie on its own terms. Is it really good? Or do we think it's good mostly because we know it could have (should have?) been much terrible?
3. Donald Glover shines as a younger Lando Calrissian, surprising absolutely no one.
4. We think the problem may be that the filmmakers are telling a story demanded mostly by the needs of Disney's ledger sheet. No one's particularly eager to see exactly how Han Solo met Chewbacca or made the Kessel Run or won the Millennium Falcon from Lando. Are they? Do we need to see every throwaway line from the original trilogy dramatized and adapted into a $200 million feature film of its own? (A similar problem faced 2016's Rogue One, but that movie at least delivered a story with new faces and a killer hook: just how did the Rebel spies steal the plans to the original Death Star?) Better perhaps instead to just tell some random Han Solo smuggling adventure rather than exploring his entire origin story as if he were a Marvel superhero.
5. Lando's maybe-more-than-friends relationship with his droid L3-37 is pretty unexpected, if strange.
6. Some say a good movie needs only deliver two or three memorable moments and a strong ending. By that yardstick, Solo more or less fits the bill. There's a great ice train hijacking sequence in the middle, some fun double-crosses at the end, and also the satisfying moment when Han outplays Lando at sabacc (which seems to be a real game with rules and everything).
7. To us, Woody Harrelson can do no wrong. He's just always great.
8. Some Star Wars fans had a problem with the casting of Alden Ehrenreich, whose previous big credit was a somewhat funny bit in the Coen Brothers' otherwise unfunny "comedy" Hail Ceasar. This argument never made sense to us; actors have long reinterpreted characters and roles. There's been two Dumbledores, five and counting James Bonds. Even so... While Ehrenreich does an pretty good job capturing that Solo swagger and crooked-smile charm, his whiny voice is markedly different from Harrison Ford's surly growl. Turns out to be a bigger distraction than you might imagine. In other words, we think the producers could have done better.
9. These Star Wars Story stand-alone sequels - as opposed to the numbered "official" saga movies - were originally envisioned by Lucasfilm to be a sort of sandbox series to allow up-and-coming filmmakers to create Star Wars stories with different looks and sensibilities. Which is why Phil Lord and Chris Miller (who directed the hilarious The Lego Movie) were hired to do Solo. The idea seemed to be to give the movie a completely different, quirky vibe. But along the way, Star Wars executive changed their mind presumably when they realized that Lord and Miller were making a movie along the same line as The Lego Movie. Shocking, right? Why hire a blacksmith unless you want him to make you a horseshoe. And so, the producers stepped in and asserted creative control (just as they had for Rogue One) by firing the directors and hiring Ron Howard(!). You can sort of see the Lord and Miller screwball tone bubbling underneath Solo. Howard may be an A-list director, but he's all competent polish and little genuine creativity and art (see also: The Force Awakens director JJ Abrams). While we understand the worry about letting Solo get too oddball... the easy answer would seem to be to cut the budget. That is, make those stand-alones cheaper and leaner movies that don't need to gross $700 million worldwide to earn back their budgets. But Hollywood never asked us.
10. What all of this means is that while Solo has to date grossed over $200 million in the U.S., it's been deemed a failure and has reportedly led Lucasfilm to reconsider future stand-alone movies.
11. We can't take credit for this observation, but we completely agree: the appeal of Han Solo in the original 1977 Star Wars was that he's a selfish opportunist who ultimately decides to join the rebellion. But here in Solo, he's already got a selfless heart of gold, his decisions driven by his determination to get back to his old girlfriend. It just feels... off somehow. At the very least, Solo should show how a idealistic rookie criminal gets burned so many times he becomes the cold-blooded smuggler we later meet in that Mos Eisley cantina. But Hollywood never asked us.
12. Fun, but perhaps too forgettable.
1.01.2018
Knee-jerk review: "Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle"
1. Far smarter and more clever than we had any reason to expect.
2. It's the best kind of sequel: the one that's similar enough to the original to offer some level of comfort (i.e. innocuous game actually creates genuine peril to its players and creates a hostage situation - finish the game or else), yet innovative enough to offer something entirely new (i.e. rather than game elements invading the real world as they did in 1995 original, here our heroes are sucked into the fictional game world). As they say in Hollywood, it's the same but different.
3. The script crackles with humor and some nice Breakfast Club-style moments of awkward teenagers learning to connect and be better people.
4. But the movie also delivers a textbook string of big, fun action set pieces that parallels the escalating levels in a video game.
5. The cast is top-notch, with extra credit to Jack Black. He probably gets the most mileage out of his part as a vain teen girl stuck in a 40-year-old man's pudgy body. But Kevin Hart also does his usual foul-mouthed exasperated shtick, which is a lot of fun if you like his shtick. And we do.
6. We remember well rolling our eyes when Universal Pictures foisted The Scorpion King on moviegoers way back in 2002. We had zero interest in seeing that spin-off of the Brendan Fraser Mummy franchise or witnessing first-hand the studio's seemingly misguided attempt to turn The Rock into a movie star whether we wanted him or not. Boy we were wrong. The Rock, now sensibly known as Dwayne Johnson, sure seems to be the real deal. He's often one of the best things in his movies.
7. Sly Easter egg reference to the original movie and Robin Williams' character.
8. Strong, satisfying ending. Thank you, Colin Hanks.
9. We wouldn't want to hear those distant jungle drums either.
10. As a parent accompanying two Little Fries - a five-year-old and an eight-year-old - we didn't appreciate the erection joke. We laughed, yes. But we didn't like it. Yeah yeah, we know the movie was rated PG-13.
11. Way better than we thought it would be. Fun and exuberant.
2. It's the best kind of sequel: the one that's similar enough to the original to offer some level of comfort (i.e. innocuous game actually creates genuine peril to its players and creates a hostage situation - finish the game or else), yet innovative enough to offer something entirely new (i.e. rather than game elements invading the real world as they did in 1995 original, here our heroes are sucked into the fictional game world). As they say in Hollywood, it's the same but different.
3. The script crackles with humor and some nice Breakfast Club-style moments of awkward teenagers learning to connect and be better people.
4. But the movie also delivers a textbook string of big, fun action set pieces that parallels the escalating levels in a video game.
5. The cast is top-notch, with extra credit to Jack Black. He probably gets the most mileage out of his part as a vain teen girl stuck in a 40-year-old man's pudgy body. But Kevin Hart also does his usual foul-mouthed exasperated shtick, which is a lot of fun if you like his shtick. And we do.
6. We remember well rolling our eyes when Universal Pictures foisted The Scorpion King on moviegoers way back in 2002. We had zero interest in seeing that spin-off of the Brendan Fraser Mummy franchise or witnessing first-hand the studio's seemingly misguided attempt to turn The Rock into a movie star whether we wanted him or not. Boy we were wrong. The Rock, now sensibly known as Dwayne Johnson, sure seems to be the real deal. He's often one of the best things in his movies.
7. Sly Easter egg reference to the original movie and Robin Williams' character.
8. Strong, satisfying ending. Thank you, Colin Hanks.
9. We wouldn't want to hear those distant jungle drums either.
10. As a parent accompanying two Little Fries - a five-year-old and an eight-year-old - we didn't appreciate the erection joke. We laughed, yes. But we didn't like it. Yeah yeah, we know the movie was rated PG-13.
11. Way better than we thought it would be. Fun and exuberant.
Knee-jerk review: "The Greatest Showman"
1. This big, sweeping musical often plays like a spinoff of Baz Luhrmann's 2001 masterpiece Moulin Rogue in the way it blends lush period art design with a slick contemporary look and modern-sounding songs.
2. It also remakes the sleazy scoundrel PT Barnum into a heroic entrepreneur, which can get a little uncomfortable if you stop to think about it.
3. To the filmmakers' credit, they do give Barnum a pretty significant flaw: a selfish desire to gain the approval of old money society at any cost, even if it means straining his marriage, risking all of his money, or even turning his back on friends and colleagues. So we suppose it's not a complete hagiography.
4. We do wonder why the movie got made. Exactly whose passion project was this? Who was determined to make a musical about Barnum?
5. Rebecca Ferguson has our attention now. Striking.
6. In addition to being a musical, the movie also gives a big role to Barnum's freak show "oddities." The bearded lady has a solo, people.
7. So, all in all, it's a pretty weird movie. Not to say we didn't find it entertaining and rousing. It's just... odd. Note also that the TV spots make no mention of the songs or the oddities. It's like they knew better than to show the "real" movie.
8. There's no denying the considerable charisma of star Hugh Jackman.
9. But the movie's two best scenes feature song-and-dance bits with Zac Efron (a fun two-handed number with Jackman and Efron at a bar, then a grandly choreographed acrobat sequence with Efron's love interest Zendaya).
10. Poor Michele Williams is underused, here asked to do little more than glow winsomely.
11. Engaging despite the overall strangeness of the story.
12.18.2017
Knee-jerk review: "Star Wars: The Last Jedi"
1. It's hard to objectively evaluate a new entry in a 40-year-old movie franchise that brings with it so much Generation X nostalgia and, courtesy the horrible prequels, disappointment.
2. Rey is a bad ass.
3. It's too long by 20 minutes, but these days you can say that about just about every tent-pole franchise studio movie. We're not sure what the motivation is for the trend of stringing together multiple endings and climaxes, each one bigger than the last, other than a general desire to give the audience as much bang for their buck as is possible. So, we suppose... thank you, Hollywood?
4. It's quite surprising to see the level of vitriol and anger in the comments sections of fan sites. The last sequel - The Force Awakens - was pilloried as a remake of A New Hope and offering nothing new, but now the new sequel - The Last Jedi - is making everyone mad for being so different. There really is no way to please some of these weirdos. And it's not just that they didn't like it, but this sense that somehow the movie has personally insulted them or caused mental harm.
5. We think the filmmakers are way more impressed and infatuated with the Captain Phasma character than they have any right to be.
6. Some of the humor is cheesy, we know, but at least there's laughs. Remember how the prequels were so incredibly dour and pretentious?
7. It's hard these days to really surprise us. We've seen too many movies, read too many scripts. It's all variations on the same formulas. And yet this films surprised us more than once. Even better, once a movie convinces the viewer that there's no way to predict which way things are going to go, then it really creates genuine suspense and tension. That's where magic can happen.
8. There's a certain ragtag "Battlestar Galactica" vibe in the exhausted hopelessness of the Resistance facing a relentless, impervious enemy. We mean that as a compliment. This group is way more hard-scrabble than the original trilogy's Rebellion ever seemed.
9. Benico Del Toro's character needed more screen time.
10. Writer-director Rian Johnson is a filmmaker in ways that the vastly overrated JJ Abrams (who directed The Force Awakens and is sadly set to direct the next sequel) just isn't. Plenty of beautiful cinematic moments and shots.
11. We appreciate the way the film subverts expectations and undercuts the heroes. Here, character choices that other movies would celebrate are instead questions and criticized. One of the themes, in fact, is that true enlightenment can only come from failure. Wow. That said, it's a real problem when an entire subplot is rendered completely meaningless.
12. Learning what happened between Luke Skywalker and Ben Solo was pretty satisfying. There are two sides to every story.
13. Adam Driver gives these new sequels a real energy and edge. Kylo Ren is powerful yet conflicted and immature. It's a great character. And he shares a real chemistry with Daisy Ridley's Rey. Their scenes together are the best in the movie.
14. We predict a Poe/Rey romance in the next movie. You read it here first.
15. Laura Dern's character makes a huge decision that creates one of the more indelible, breathtaking visuals in the whole franchise. We've never seen anything like it.
16. It's just impossible for big Hollywood movies to get away from explosions, isn't it? Every ending has to be packed full of things on fire or about to be on fire. Tiresome.
17. We're completely okay with the reveal of Rey's parents. It works nicely. We hope the next movie doesn't double-back and change it.
18. May the Force be with you.
19. The opening sequence has a very World War II vibe to it, what with the bombers and all.
20. Few moments in a movie theater can deliver the chills quite like that first trumpet blast as the yellow Star Wars logo appears on the starfield. Just as effective as it was in 1977.
21. They split the lightsaber in two, people. Get it? Equally matched adversaries.
22. Yes, we liked it very much. Is it perfect? No. Is it entertaining and exciting? Absolutely.
Here's our updated power rankings of Star Wars films for those who are into that sort of thing:
1. The Empire Strikes Back, obviously
2. Star Wars
3. The strangely underrated Rogue One
4. The Last Jedi
5. Return of the Jedi
6. The Force Awakens
7. Revenge of the Sith
8. Attack of the Clones
9. The Phantom Menace, obviously
2. Rey is a bad ass.
3. It's too long by 20 minutes, but these days you can say that about just about every tent-pole franchise studio movie. We're not sure what the motivation is for the trend of stringing together multiple endings and climaxes, each one bigger than the last, other than a general desire to give the audience as much bang for their buck as is possible. So, we suppose... thank you, Hollywood?
4. It's quite surprising to see the level of vitriol and anger in the comments sections of fan sites. The last sequel - The Force Awakens - was pilloried as a remake of A New Hope and offering nothing new, but now the new sequel - The Last Jedi - is making everyone mad for being so different. There really is no way to please some of these weirdos. And it's not just that they didn't like it, but this sense that somehow the movie has personally insulted them or caused mental harm.
5. We think the filmmakers are way more impressed and infatuated with the Captain Phasma character than they have any right to be.
6. Some of the humor is cheesy, we know, but at least there's laughs. Remember how the prequels were so incredibly dour and pretentious?
7. It's hard these days to really surprise us. We've seen too many movies, read too many scripts. It's all variations on the same formulas. And yet this films surprised us more than once. Even better, once a movie convinces the viewer that there's no way to predict which way things are going to go, then it really creates genuine suspense and tension. That's where magic can happen.
8. There's a certain ragtag "Battlestar Galactica" vibe in the exhausted hopelessness of the Resistance facing a relentless, impervious enemy. We mean that as a compliment. This group is way more hard-scrabble than the original trilogy's Rebellion ever seemed.
9. Benico Del Toro's character needed more screen time.
10. Writer-director Rian Johnson is a filmmaker in ways that the vastly overrated JJ Abrams (who directed The Force Awakens and is sadly set to direct the next sequel) just isn't. Plenty of beautiful cinematic moments and shots.
11. We appreciate the way the film subverts expectations and undercuts the heroes. Here, character choices that other movies would celebrate are instead questions and criticized. One of the themes, in fact, is that true enlightenment can only come from failure. Wow. That said, it's a real problem when an entire subplot is rendered completely meaningless.
12. Learning what happened between Luke Skywalker and Ben Solo was pretty satisfying. There are two sides to every story.
13. Adam Driver gives these new sequels a real energy and edge. Kylo Ren is powerful yet conflicted and immature. It's a great character. And he shares a real chemistry with Daisy Ridley's Rey. Their scenes together are the best in the movie.
14. We predict a Poe/Rey romance in the next movie. You read it here first.
15. Laura Dern's character makes a huge decision that creates one of the more indelible, breathtaking visuals in the whole franchise. We've never seen anything like it.
16. It's just impossible for big Hollywood movies to get away from explosions, isn't it? Every ending has to be packed full of things on fire or about to be on fire. Tiresome.
17. We're completely okay with the reveal of Rey's parents. It works nicely. We hope the next movie doesn't double-back and change it.
18. May the Force be with you.
19. The opening sequence has a very World War II vibe to it, what with the bombers and all.
20. Few moments in a movie theater can deliver the chills quite like that first trumpet blast as the yellow Star Wars logo appears on the starfield. Just as effective as it was in 1977.
21. They split the lightsaber in two, people. Get it? Equally matched adversaries.
22. Yes, we liked it very much. Is it perfect? No. Is it entertaining and exciting? Absolutely.
Here's our updated power rankings of Star Wars films for those who are into that sort of thing:
1. The Empire Strikes Back, obviously
2. Star Wars
3. The strangely underrated Rogue One
4. The Last Jedi
5. Return of the Jedi
6. The Force Awakens
7. Revenge of the Sith
8. Attack of the Clones
9. The Phantom Menace, obviously
11.02.2017
Halloween candy haul, 2017
Collected on Tuesday evening, October 31, 2017 in a orange plastic jack-o-lantern bucket by the character Mal (from Disney's The Descendants)
20 Hershey's chocolate bars - the big winner
14 assorted lollipops
13 Snickers - seems disproportionately over-represented
10 Kit Kat packets (two Kit Kats per packet) - "break us off a piece of that Kit Kat bar"
12 Reese's peanut butter cups - classic
9 Laffy Taffy
7 generic gumballs
6 Starburst packets (multiple candies per packet)
6 Tootsie Fruit Rolls
4 assorted Jolly Rancher products
4 Nerd boxes - huge when we were in middle school
4 Tootsie Rolls - way overrated as a candy
4 Twix packets (two Twix per packet)
4 Whoppers - somewhat underrated as a candy
3 M & M packets (multiple candies per packet) - the flipside of the Snickers; seems disproportionately under-represented
3 Milk Dud boxes
3 Sweet Tarts - so gross
3 Three Musketeers - a rather strange name for a candy bar, don't you think?
3 Twizzler packet (two Twizzler per packet) - really not even candy, more like flavored rubber
2 Bottle Caps
2 Milky Ways
2 Reese's Pieces
2 Skittles packets (multiple candies per packet) - "taste the rainbow"
1 Crunch Bar - really, just one?
1 Heath Bar - ditto; we suspect grown-up candy embezzlement
1 Mike and Ike
1 Now and Later candy (not a pack, just the one wrapped candy piece) - the saddest of the entire collection
1 Sugar Baby packet (multiple candies per packet) - old school
1 Trolli packet
20 Hershey's chocolate bars - the big winner
14 assorted lollipops
13 Snickers - seems disproportionately over-represented
10 Kit Kat packets (two Kit Kats per packet) - "break us off a piece of that Kit Kat bar"
12 Reese's peanut butter cups - classic
9 Laffy Taffy
7 generic gumballs
6 Starburst packets (multiple candies per packet)
6 Tootsie Fruit Rolls
4 assorted Jolly Rancher products
4 Nerd boxes - huge when we were in middle school
4 Tootsie Rolls - way overrated as a candy
4 Twix packets (two Twix per packet)
4 Whoppers - somewhat underrated as a candy
3 M & M packets (multiple candies per packet) - the flipside of the Snickers; seems disproportionately under-represented
3 Milk Dud boxes
3 Sweet Tarts - so gross
3 Three Musketeers - a rather strange name for a candy bar, don't you think?
3 Twizzler packet (two Twizzler per packet) - really not even candy, more like flavored rubber
2 Bottle Caps
2 Milky Ways
2 Reese's Pieces
2 Skittles packets (multiple candies per packet) - "taste the rainbow"
1 Crunch Bar - really, just one?
1 Heath Bar - ditto; we suspect grown-up candy embezzlement
1 Mike and Ike
1 Now and Later candy (not a pack, just the one wrapped candy piece) - the saddest of the entire collection
1 Sugar Baby packet (multiple candies per packet) - old school
1 Trolli packet
10.14.2017
"Love Those Lincolns, Man."
We wish it weren't so, but the recent Lincoln car campaign featuring Matthew McConaughey has completely transfixed us. One commercial in particular offers that perfect blend of slick imagery, decadent mood, and dreamy music (by Amon Tobin). When it pops up as we do a DVR-fast-forward we always stop and soak it in.
It's called "The Feeling: Night Out" (directed by none other than indie film legend Gus Van Sant) and shows McConaughey going through his evening ritual getting ready for a night on the town. We understand what agency Hudson Rouge is doing here. McConaughey's surrounded by plush affluence - the camel hair shaving brush, the walk-in closet full of pressed suits and shirts and neatly folded towels, the expensive watch - and also owns a Lincoln, ergo the Lincoln is the car of the wealthy and influential.
Knowing that doesn't make it any less effective. Rarely do guilty pleasures extend to a 30-second spot. It's a fully-realized fantasy world... one we want to be a part of.
Bonus points to that moment in the car when McConaughey reaches to push the ignition button, then gives that one brief hesitation, savoring the quiet before he revs his engine, gives that sly self-satisfied McConaughey smirk, and takes off on some grand Malibu adventure surely featuring champagne and caviar.
Plus the car shines the logo onto the pavement!
It's called "The Feeling: Night Out" (directed by none other than indie film legend Gus Van Sant) and shows McConaughey going through his evening ritual getting ready for a night on the town. We understand what agency Hudson Rouge is doing here. McConaughey's surrounded by plush affluence - the camel hair shaving brush, the walk-in closet full of pressed suits and shirts and neatly folded towels, the expensive watch - and also owns a Lincoln, ergo the Lincoln is the car of the wealthy and influential.
Knowing that doesn't make it any less effective. Rarely do guilty pleasures extend to a 30-second spot. It's a fully-realized fantasy world... one we want to be a part of.
Bonus points to that moment in the car when McConaughey reaches to push the ignition button, then gives that one brief hesitation, savoring the quiet before he revs his engine, gives that sly self-satisfied McConaughey smirk, and takes off on some grand Malibu adventure surely featuring champagne and caviar.
Plus the car shines the logo onto the pavement!
Does the Future Use Helvetica?
Author Dave Addey may just well be a genius. His fascinating blog "Typeset of the Future" dives deep into the fonts and graphics used by science fiction films. The level of obsessive analysis and attention to detail are nothing short of amazing.
So far, he's examined Moon, Alien, Blade Runner, and 2001: A Space Odyssey. His blog reports that next year he'll be publishing a book with even more analyses.
As but one example of his OCD focus on the minutiae of film, Addey created a video to try and understand the resolution and enlargement numbers in the famous sequence in Blade Runner in which Harrison Ford uses a machine in his apartment to zoom in on a photograph to look for clues.
So far, he's examined Moon, Alien, Blade Runner, and 2001: A Space Odyssey. His blog reports that next year he'll be publishing a book with even more analyses.
As but one example of his OCD focus on the minutiae of film, Addey created a video to try and understand the resolution and enlargement numbers in the famous sequence in Blade Runner in which Harrison Ford uses a machine in his apartment to zoom in on a photograph to look for clues.
10.09.2017
Mrs. Fry's Perspective on "Blade Runner"
Mrs. Cheese Fry decided to screen the 1982 classic Blade Runner in anticipation of watching the new sequel. It was the first time she'd seen it. Mrs. Fry delivered the expected dose of skeptical shrugs and eye rolls.
Here are some samples of her commentary.
"I don't know if I can take another hour of this narration" regarding Harrison Ford's noir-inspired voiceover. We explained in detail the infamous history of the narration and she did a great job pretending to be interested.
"Why is it so dark?" asking about the purposefully bleak cinematography - all but one scene takes place at night - suggesting an ecological disaster.
"We're not going to see him naked even though we saw that other woman show everything" stating in a nutshell Hollywood's longtime aversion to male nudity. For the record, Harrison Ford did take his shirt all the way off moments after this criticism was leveled. But he definitely didn't have the sort of nudity rider in his contract that costar Joanna Cassidy had in hers.
"What's with all of the old TV sets?" noticing that the filmmakers in 1981 failed to properly foresee and include flatscreen displays in their production design, opting instead for clunky, boxy CRT displays that were dated as of 1991.
"Of course she'll do what he wants - she's a robot" referring to the now-controversial moment when Harrison Ford refuses to let Sean Young leave his apartment and throws her against the wall for a forced kiss. Replicants still have free will, we explained, which is one of the reasons why Blade Runners have jobs.
"So... where'd they get all of that blood?" asking about the bloody deaths of Replicants, not yet getting that Replicants aren't mechanical, but altered biological lifeforms. Again, she feigned interest but mostly got annoyed that we kept pausing the movie for a geeked-out discussion of the minutiae of Replicants and Blade Runners and director Ridley Scott's rainy, neon-soaked vision of 2019 Los Angeles.
"Where the heck's that Gaff guy during all of this?" referencing the climactic fight between Harrison Ford and Rutger Hauer and wondering why Ford didn't have backup. Gaff's the Edward James Olmos character - a Blade Runner rival - who appears in three short scenes total. It's not like they're Glover and Gibson in the Lethal Weapon movies, you know?
But did she like the movie? "I could have not seen it."
Here are some samples of her commentary.
"I don't know if I can take another hour of this narration" regarding Harrison Ford's noir-inspired voiceover. We explained in detail the infamous history of the narration and she did a great job pretending to be interested.
"Why is it so dark?" asking about the purposefully bleak cinematography - all but one scene takes place at night - suggesting an ecological disaster.
"We're not going to see him naked even though we saw that other woman show everything" stating in a nutshell Hollywood's longtime aversion to male nudity. For the record, Harrison Ford did take his shirt all the way off moments after this criticism was leveled. But he definitely didn't have the sort of nudity rider in his contract that costar Joanna Cassidy had in hers.
"What's with all of the old TV sets?" noticing that the filmmakers in 1981 failed to properly foresee and include flatscreen displays in their production design, opting instead for clunky, boxy CRT displays that were dated as of 1991.
"Of course she'll do what he wants - she's a robot" referring to the now-controversial moment when Harrison Ford refuses to let Sean Young leave his apartment and throws her against the wall for a forced kiss. Replicants still have free will, we explained, which is one of the reasons why Blade Runners have jobs.
"So... where'd they get all of that blood?" asking about the bloody deaths of Replicants, not yet getting that Replicants aren't mechanical, but altered biological lifeforms. Again, she feigned interest but mostly got annoyed that we kept pausing the movie for a geeked-out discussion of the minutiae of Replicants and Blade Runners and director Ridley Scott's rainy, neon-soaked vision of 2019 Los Angeles.
"Where the heck's that Gaff guy during all of this?" referencing the climactic fight between Harrison Ford and Rutger Hauer and wondering why Ford didn't have backup. Gaff's the Edward James Olmos character - a Blade Runner rival - who appears in three short scenes total. It's not like they're Glover and Gibson in the Lethal Weapon movies, you know?
But did she like the movie? "I could have not seen it."
10.04.2017
Knee-jerk catch-up: "Split" and "Logan" and "Captain Underpants" and "Wonder Woman" and "War for the Planet of the Apes"
Once upon a time, the Cheese Fry meticulously posted "Knee Jerk" reviews to each and every film we saw in a theater. As the Fry family grew and extra-curriculum responsibilities expanded, that level of commitment became harder and harder to maintain.
We want to turn over a new leaf. Whether that's actually possible remains to be seen. But we would like to at least play catch-up on the movies we saw in 2017 that lacked a "Knee Jerk" review.
Split is far more entertaining and satisfying than it has any right to be. We've all seen this sort of thing before: the sociopath kidnaps pretty girls and locks them up, forcing them to dig deep and plot their escape, yadda yadda. But the villain has multiple personalities, only a few of which are the "real" kidnappers. This is surely not medically accurate, but it gives the female victims a chance to work the other personalities to get out. More importantly, writer-director M Night Shyamalan gets us out of the basement with a whole other subplot that shows the kidnapper out in the real world interacting with his kindly, if slow-to-catch-on, therapist. A home run movie, even before the clever tag that links it to Shyamalan's 2000 film Unbreakable.
Logan stands out in a marketplace completely crowded with loud, noisy, cookie-cutter superhero movies. We used to loved superheroes, but Hollywood has just about worn us out. The Wolverine character - and Hugh Jackman's clenched-teeth, bad-boy-with-maybe-a-heart-of-gold performance - was always one of the best things about the X-Men movies. This sequel - looking ahead to Wolverine's last days in a bleak, dead-end future - can only be described as feral. It's a gritty, ferocious R-rated cry of pain (and splattering of blood) as Wolverine begrudgingly decides to be a hero one last time. For those who always wanted to know how deadly those claws could be.
Captain Underpants is no Pixar classic, which one might surmise from the title. The film's got a fun and distinctive cartoon style, sure, but it's a mostly manic and silly story about a mean vice principal who thinks he's a superhero. Or something like that. The movie lurches and careens forward with a palpable desperation to be exciting! and fun! and hilarious! Without question, the unending string of bathroom gags means it's squarely aimed at young boys. We actually dozed off halfway through it. Probably not a pull quote the studio would want to use.
Wonder Woman is a joy. Many of the familiar superhero origin tropes are there, but there's no way to shake the feeling that this is a movie directed by a woman. It just feels... different somehow. The World War I setting certainly helps in the way casual chauvinism of that era underscores how far women still have to go in 2017, as does the matter-of-fact way Wonder Woman is presented. She's attractive but the camera doesn't leer and linger. She's more a symbol of strength and goodness (if only the Superman of 2013's uneven Man of Steel had taken that approach) than sex appeal. The winning, charismatic performance by Gal Gadot is how a movie star is born. Yes, the ending is way over the top and goes on way too long. But of the movies on this list, it's our favorite by far.
War for the Planet of the Apes is the first Apes movie that we paid to see in theaters. The first two we watched at home. We picked poorly. The first two are vastly underrated films, surprisingly effective thrillers that offer layered and thoughtful commentary on freedom and prejudice and warfare. And while this sequel is certainly a technical masterpiece - it's simply amazing to imagine that these creatures live only inside a computer server - it's ultimately a big disappointment What begins as a fun sort of primate take on a traditional Western (small group of apes travel rocky plains looking for revenge) soon turns into a dour POW movie as the apes suffer under the heel of warden Woody Harrelson (always love him). If that's not bad enough, the apes' climactic escape involves a most unsatisfying deus ex machina rescue. Sigh.
We want to turn over a new leaf. Whether that's actually possible remains to be seen. But we would like to at least play catch-up on the movies we saw in 2017 that lacked a "Knee Jerk" review.
Split is far more entertaining and satisfying than it has any right to be. We've all seen this sort of thing before: the sociopath kidnaps pretty girls and locks them up, forcing them to dig deep and plot their escape, yadda yadda. But the villain has multiple personalities, only a few of which are the "real" kidnappers. This is surely not medically accurate, but it gives the female victims a chance to work the other personalities to get out. More importantly, writer-director M Night Shyamalan gets us out of the basement with a whole other subplot that shows the kidnapper out in the real world interacting with his kindly, if slow-to-catch-on, therapist. A home run movie, even before the clever tag that links it to Shyamalan's 2000 film Unbreakable.
Logan stands out in a marketplace completely crowded with loud, noisy, cookie-cutter superhero movies. We used to loved superheroes, but Hollywood has just about worn us out. The Wolverine character - and Hugh Jackman's clenched-teeth, bad-boy-with-maybe-a-heart-of-gold performance - was always one of the best things about the X-Men movies. This sequel - looking ahead to Wolverine's last days in a bleak, dead-end future - can only be described as feral. It's a gritty, ferocious R-rated cry of pain (and splattering of blood) as Wolverine begrudgingly decides to be a hero one last time. For those who always wanted to know how deadly those claws could be.
Captain Underpants is no Pixar classic, which one might surmise from the title. The film's got a fun and distinctive cartoon style, sure, but it's a mostly manic and silly story about a mean vice principal who thinks he's a superhero. Or something like that. The movie lurches and careens forward with a palpable desperation to be exciting! and fun! and hilarious! Without question, the unending string of bathroom gags means it's squarely aimed at young boys. We actually dozed off halfway through it. Probably not a pull quote the studio would want to use.
Wonder Woman is a joy. Many of the familiar superhero origin tropes are there, but there's no way to shake the feeling that this is a movie directed by a woman. It just feels... different somehow. The World War I setting certainly helps in the way casual chauvinism of that era underscores how far women still have to go in 2017, as does the matter-of-fact way Wonder Woman is presented. She's attractive but the camera doesn't leer and linger. She's more a symbol of strength and goodness (if only the Superman of 2013's uneven Man of Steel had taken that approach) than sex appeal. The winning, charismatic performance by Gal Gadot is how a movie star is born. Yes, the ending is way over the top and goes on way too long. But of the movies on this list, it's our favorite by far.
War for the Planet of the Apes is the first Apes movie that we paid to see in theaters. The first two we watched at home. We picked poorly. The first two are vastly underrated films, surprisingly effective thrillers that offer layered and thoughtful commentary on freedom and prejudice and warfare. And while this sequel is certainly a technical masterpiece - it's simply amazing to imagine that these creatures live only inside a computer server - it's ultimately a big disappointment What begins as a fun sort of primate take on a traditional Western (small group of apes travel rocky plains looking for revenge) soon turns into a dour POW movie as the apes suffer under the heel of warden Woody Harrelson (always love him). If that's not bad enough, the apes' climactic escape involves a most unsatisfying deus ex machina rescue. Sigh.
Seven overused phrases from "Big Brother"
We came late to the "Big Brother" guilty-pleasure party. Our first season was Season 15 (summer of 2013) when the ultimate do-nothing floater Andy Herren won. But even in this short amount of time, we've grown quite weary of the in-game lingo that the houseguests lean on so often. We suspect they just want to give the whole ridiculous thing a more serious, strategic vibe.
1. "My game" (e.g. "I need to do what's good for my game")
2. (tie) "Flip the house"
2. (tie) "The other side of the house"
4. "Blood on my hands"
5. "My ride or die"
6. "Comp" (short for "competition" which is just obnoxious - what, you don't want to say those other three syllables?)
7. "Showmance"
Honorable mention goes to host Julie Chen's ubiquitous "but first" phrases used during every live episode.
We've also started noticing a new one. It's not yet ready to crack the list, but we have our eye on it. "Jury management."
1. "My game" (e.g. "I need to do what's good for my game")
2. (tie) "Flip the house"
2. (tie) "The other side of the house"
4. "Blood on my hands"
5. "My ride or die"
6. "Comp" (short for "competition" which is just obnoxious - what, you don't want to say those other three syllables?)
7. "Showmance"
Honorable mention goes to host Julie Chen's ubiquitous "but first" phrases used during every live episode.
We've also started noticing a new one. It's not yet ready to crack the list, but we have our eye on it. "Jury management."
8.21.2017
Knee-jerk review: "Dunkirk"
1. There is a certain sort of moviegoer who loves writer-director Christopher Nolan and believes every one of his films is a classic and that he can do no wrong. We are not one of those moviergoers.
2. Nolan has a grand sense of scale and an undeniable flair, but his movies too often feel overcooked. The plotting is usually a little too clever for its own good. Consider 2008's near-classic The Dark Knight which crammed two movies into one or 2010's ridiculously labyrinthian Inception with its nesting storylines and "look at me, I'm an auteur!" spinning-top ambiguous ending.
3. His best movie remains the strange indie drama Memento (2000). If you haven't seen it, go now. The backwards plot is self-consciously arty, but the film is small enough to make it work.
4. Kenneth Branagh is in the movie doing that regal-but-shrewd Kenneth Branagh thing.
5. We admire the decision in Dunkirk to mostly avoid providing backstories and arcs to the characters. There's definitely an urgent "you are there" vibe to the action.
6. But there's a reason 100+ years of cinema perfected a dramatic model in which plots hang on three-dimensional characters that inspire empathy and face conflicts that lead to personal growth: it's satisfying to the audience.
7. We wish the filmmakers had focused more on the RAF Spitfire airplane portion of the story. The dogfight sequences are thrilling and, unlike the familiar infantry-under-fire plot or the tired business with the sinking ships and flooding compartments, feel completely fresh. We haven't seen that before. Exciting and dynamic.
8. For those who care about that sort of thing, One Direction singer Harry Styles indeed does have a fairly large part. He does a decent job.
9. Some have inexplicably called this one of the greatest war films every made. Pump the brakes, people.
10. Looks good, but not filling.
3. His best movie remains the strange indie drama Memento (2000). If you haven't seen it, go now. The backwards plot is self-consciously arty, but the film is small enough to make it work.
4. Kenneth Branagh is in the movie doing that regal-but-shrewd Kenneth Branagh thing.
5. We admire the decision in Dunkirk to mostly avoid providing backstories and arcs to the characters. There's definitely an urgent "you are there" vibe to the action.
6. But there's a reason 100+ years of cinema perfected a dramatic model in which plots hang on three-dimensional characters that inspire empathy and face conflicts that lead to personal growth: it's satisfying to the audience.
7. We wish the filmmakers had focused more on the RAF Spitfire airplane portion of the story. The dogfight sequences are thrilling and, unlike the familiar infantry-under-fire plot or the tired business with the sinking ships and flooding compartments, feel completely fresh. We haven't seen that before. Exciting and dynamic.
8. For those who care about that sort of thing, One Direction singer Harry Styles indeed does have a fairly large part. He does a decent job.
9. Some have inexplicably called this one of the greatest war films every made. Pump the brakes, people.
10. Looks good, but not filling.
2.01.2017
Knee-jerk review: "La La Land"
1. They had us when the Cinemascope logo faded in and the image stretched sideways into a glorious wide aspect ratio.
2. Emma Stone may look like the bored barista at your corner Starbucks, but she's got the goods. In some close-ups, you can practically see what she's thinking just by the way she works her eyes.
3. What you've heard is true - La La Land is a meticulously crafted love letter to the big Hollywood musicals of yore. A lush, romantic, poignant musical the likes of which we haven't seen since 2001's Moulin Rogue.
4. We can't think of a movie that seemed to speak more directly to our unique history. For those who move hundreds of miles to Los Angeles to pursue a crazy impossible dream to somehow forge a career in the cut-throat entertainment industry, this film is for you. Lots of moments packed a real punch for us. We've known lots of struggling actors, producers, directors, musicians, and writers working miserable day jobs and hoping for that big break.
5. On one hand we can't believe that actor auditions can be that awful or humiliating. But on the other hand, we completely believe it.
6. We've never seen Rebel Without a Cause. Shame.
7. Slambang opening - "Another Day of Sun" - with drivers stuck on a freeway overpass in a nasty hot L.A. traffic jam hopping out of their cars for a song and dance number. Exuberant. It's hard to top. Bonus points that while they're dancing you can see traffic moving down below.
8. You really can increase your car key fob's range by holding it against your chin and turning your head into an antenna.
9. We wasted a good deal of brain power during the movie trying to figure out where in L.A. each shot was filmed.
10. There's always something a little aloof about Ryan Gosling, right? Or is that just us?
11. The dusk dance number "A Lovely Night" and Gosling's "City of Stars" are delightful, of course, but our favorite number by far was Stone's plaintive third act solo "Audition (The Fools Who Dream)."
12. Never make critical comments on your way out of a theater in Los Angeles, people. You never know who's listening.
13. Like all great movies, this one ends very strong. We don't want to spoil it here, but the last ten minutes are genuinely bittersweet, thrilling, and moving all at once.
13. It's not the best film we've ever seen. But we can't stop thinking about it, which is a special sort of praise all its own.
2. Emma Stone may look like the bored barista at your corner Starbucks, but she's got the goods. In some close-ups, you can practically see what she's thinking just by the way she works her eyes.
3. What you've heard is true - La La Land is a meticulously crafted love letter to the big Hollywood musicals of yore. A lush, romantic, poignant musical the likes of which we haven't seen since 2001's Moulin Rogue.
4. We can't think of a movie that seemed to speak more directly to our unique history. For those who move hundreds of miles to Los Angeles to pursue a crazy impossible dream to somehow forge a career in the cut-throat entertainment industry, this film is for you. Lots of moments packed a real punch for us. We've known lots of struggling actors, producers, directors, musicians, and writers working miserable day jobs and hoping for that big break.
5. On one hand we can't believe that actor auditions can be that awful or humiliating. But on the other hand, we completely believe it.
6. We've never seen Rebel Without a Cause. Shame.
7. Slambang opening - "Another Day of Sun" - with drivers stuck on a freeway overpass in a nasty hot L.A. traffic jam hopping out of their cars for a song and dance number. Exuberant. It's hard to top. Bonus points that while they're dancing you can see traffic moving down below.
8. You really can increase your car key fob's range by holding it against your chin and turning your head into an antenna.
9. We wasted a good deal of brain power during the movie trying to figure out where in L.A. each shot was filmed.
10. There's always something a little aloof about Ryan Gosling, right? Or is that just us?
11. The dusk dance number "A Lovely Night" and Gosling's "City of Stars" are delightful, of course, but our favorite number by far was Stone's plaintive third act solo "Audition (The Fools Who Dream)."
12. Never make critical comments on your way out of a theater in Los Angeles, people. You never know who's listening.
13. Like all great movies, this one ends very strong. We don't want to spoil it here, but the last ten minutes are genuinely bittersweet, thrilling, and moving all at once.
13. It's not the best film we've ever seen. But we can't stop thinking about it, which is a special sort of praise all its own.
12.30.2016
Knee-jerk review: "Rogue One"
1. Best Star Wars movie since 1980's The Empire Strikes Back.
2. Much of the geekdom is up in arms about the CGI recreation of the late actor Peter Cushing, resurrected here to again play Grand Moff Tarkin. Film nerds (who do love to complain, thereby showing off their own brilliance, you see) are complaining about how horrible the animation is. We expected some kind of horrible Polar Express-level phoniness. But to us, the CGI looked pretty flawless. Ms. Fry had no idea the Tarkin character wasn't played by a living actor. A lot of sound and fury signifying nothing.
3. It's about as satisfying and big a climax as you'd want in a movie. We love it when the heroes' plans go wrong in as many ways as possible, forcing them to frantically improvise. James Cameron's movies (e.g. Aliens, Terminator 2, The Abyss) are the gold standard. Rogue One aspires to that high bar. Nothing is easy for our rebels.
4. Add tropical paradise planet Scarif to the list of awesome Star Wars planets-with-memorable-weather (see also: desert plant Tattooine, ice planet Hoth, swamp planet Degobah, volcano planet Mustafar, rainforest planet Endor).
5. A pretty genius premise, don't you think? The whole franchise begins with the "Help us, Obi Wan" hologram from Princess Leia and the stolen Death Star plans. Why not rewind to see how those plans got stolen?
6. Also bonus points for offering a completely logical explanation for the Death Star's exhaust port weakness. It only took 40 years to get one.
7. Star Wars may appear to be simple black and white, good versus evil allegories, but there are always political complexities baked in (the prequel trilogy was essentially a treatise on how dictatorships arise). One man's freedom-fighting rebellion, after all, is another man's terrorist insurgency. It's all relative. Fascinating here that the Rebel Alliance looks down on "extremists" like Forest Whitaker's Saw Gerrera, whose followers like to throw bombs into crowds.
8. Captain Cassian Andor. If that's not a classic Star Wars name, we don't know what is. We're sure by now you've seen the Star Wars Name Generator.
9. It always comes down to disabling a forcefield, doesn't it?
10. What happens to two Star Destroyers may be one of the coolest things we've ever seen.
11. If we had to find a flaw, it may be the characters. Compared to the exuberant charisma of the characters introduced last year in The Force Awakens (Rey, Finn, Poe Dameron - another perfect Star Wars name, Kylo Ren), the new characters here are a little limp. On one hand, it's nice that Diego Luna and Felicity Jones' characters are platonic no-nonense colleagues, but a little chemistry between them might have added another layer to their interactions.
12. Also a little vague on what turns Jones from reluctant participant to a rah-rah leader.
13. Overall, though, it's pretty fantastic, but it's also quite dark. It's a war film. Lots of good guys die. Lots of innocent people die.
14. You'll love the way this movie clearly ends moments before the opening shot of 1977's Star Wars.
15. It's the Star Wars movie you've been looking for. Move along.
2. Much of the geekdom is up in arms about the CGI recreation of the late actor Peter Cushing, resurrected here to again play Grand Moff Tarkin. Film nerds (who do love to complain, thereby showing off their own brilliance, you see) are complaining about how horrible the animation is. We expected some kind of horrible Polar Express-level phoniness. But to us, the CGI looked pretty flawless. Ms. Fry had no idea the Tarkin character wasn't played by a living actor. A lot of sound and fury signifying nothing.
3. It's about as satisfying and big a climax as you'd want in a movie. We love it when the heroes' plans go wrong in as many ways as possible, forcing them to frantically improvise. James Cameron's movies (e.g. Aliens, Terminator 2, The Abyss) are the gold standard. Rogue One aspires to that high bar. Nothing is easy for our rebels.
4. Add tropical paradise planet Scarif to the list of awesome Star Wars planets-with-memorable-weather (see also: desert plant Tattooine, ice planet Hoth, swamp planet Degobah, volcano planet Mustafar, rainforest planet Endor).
5. A pretty genius premise, don't you think? The whole franchise begins with the "Help us, Obi Wan" hologram from Princess Leia and the stolen Death Star plans. Why not rewind to see how those plans got stolen?
6. Also bonus points for offering a completely logical explanation for the Death Star's exhaust port weakness. It only took 40 years to get one.
7. Star Wars may appear to be simple black and white, good versus evil allegories, but there are always political complexities baked in (the prequel trilogy was essentially a treatise on how dictatorships arise). One man's freedom-fighting rebellion, after all, is another man's terrorist insurgency. It's all relative. Fascinating here that the Rebel Alliance looks down on "extremists" like Forest Whitaker's Saw Gerrera, whose followers like to throw bombs into crowds.
8. Captain Cassian Andor. If that's not a classic Star Wars name, we don't know what is. We're sure by now you've seen the Star Wars Name Generator.
9. It always comes down to disabling a forcefield, doesn't it?
10. What happens to two Star Destroyers may be one of the coolest things we've ever seen.
11. If we had to find a flaw, it may be the characters. Compared to the exuberant charisma of the characters introduced last year in The Force Awakens (Rey, Finn, Poe Dameron - another perfect Star Wars name, Kylo Ren), the new characters here are a little limp. On one hand, it's nice that Diego Luna and Felicity Jones' characters are platonic no-nonense colleagues, but a little chemistry between them might have added another layer to their interactions.
12. Also a little vague on what turns Jones from reluctant participant to a rah-rah leader.
13. Overall, though, it's pretty fantastic, but it's also quite dark. It's a war film. Lots of good guys die. Lots of innocent people die.
14. You'll love the way this movie clearly ends moments before the opening shot of 1977's Star Wars.
15. It's the Star Wars movie you've been looking for. Move along.
12.28.2016
A few words about the 2016-17 TV season
"American Housewife" (ABC) makes us laugh. It's "sitcom-my" in that it feels assembled and engineered to crank out punchlines whether the situations all feel completely plausible or not. But when it's done this well - anchored by a manic, sideways-glancing performance by Katy Mixon - it works.
"The Big Bang Theory" (CBS) offers a textbook example of "habit-viewing" - we watch it because we've always watched it. The completist in us needs to see it through to the end. It's mostly enjoyable, often amusing, but rarely hilarious. [We can say the same thing about ABC's "Modern Family" - a show that does still sometimes hit a home run, but mostly at this point coasts on past success.]
"Black-ish" (ABC) may seem at first like a 21st-century spin on "The Cosby Show." Upper-class African-American parents try to raise their oddball kids. But this is a show with satirical bite, an affection for the surreal, and big ambition for social change. Sharp and smart.
"Blindspot" (NBC) remains completely wack in its second season, packed full of twists and double-agents and ridiculous plot leaps and a computer tech who can literally do anything with a keyboard and a mouse and those dumb tattoos. It's implausible in so many ways. But we keep watching it. [For the record, the two-twists-per-episode screeching melodrama of "Empire" (Fox) and "How to Get Away with Murder" (ABC) are equally insane but we gave up on those shows after the first season. It was just too much.]
"Code Black" (NBC) offers a spiritual reboot of "ER." That either excites you or it doesn't. We didn't realize how much we missed that "ER" mix of strange medical jargon, workplace politics, guest stars looking for Emmys, and shocking medical tragedy packed as densely as possible into 50 minutes. Plus, Luis Guzman as a worldly nurse.
"Designated Survivor" (ABC) provides a fictional president that some Americans may be desperately craving: humble, measured, thoughtful President Kirkman (Keifer Sutherland) isn't the type to blast people on Twitter at 3:00am. The show is very well made and very compelling... but thanks to the efforts of a tireless FBI agent, who's all alone (of course) figuring out who blew up the Capitol, the audience is way way ahead of poor Kirkman and his staff. This is creating some serious narrative frustration. This is a show that needs to get things out in the open and kick it up a notch.
"The Good Place" (NBC) may not be the funniest show on the air, but it is without question the most creative and inventive show one the air, taking place as it does in heaven and involving a clerical error that sends there an undeserving person. Genius all the way around.
"Superstore" (NBC) is quickly evolving into a worthy blue-collar retail companion to NBC's brilliant "The Office." Quirky characters, workplace setting, snappy dialogue, plus those curious little B-roll vignettes. It's fantastic.
"Survivor" (CBS) continues to deliver the goods, exploring fascinating social dynamics - you're voting people out who will ultimately decide if you deserve the prize - amid ever-changing gameplay and strategy. The season that just wrapped was particularly strong. Yeah, we can't believe it either.
"This Is Us" (NBC) delivers manipulative, contrived schmaltz about the everyday dramas of an extended family. But it benefits greatly from a clever, time-shifting premise and a surprisingly strong cast. We hate ourselves for liking it as much as we do.
"The Big Bang Theory" (CBS) offers a textbook example of "habit-viewing" - we watch it because we've always watched it. The completist in us needs to see it through to the end. It's mostly enjoyable, often amusing, but rarely hilarious. [We can say the same thing about ABC's "Modern Family" - a show that does still sometimes hit a home run, but mostly at this point coasts on past success.]
"Black-ish" (ABC) may seem at first like a 21st-century spin on "The Cosby Show." Upper-class African-American parents try to raise their oddball kids. But this is a show with satirical bite, an affection for the surreal, and big ambition for social change. Sharp and smart.
"Blindspot" (NBC) remains completely wack in its second season, packed full of twists and double-agents and ridiculous plot leaps and a computer tech who can literally do anything with a keyboard and a mouse and those dumb tattoos. It's implausible in so many ways. But we keep watching it. [For the record, the two-twists-per-episode screeching melodrama of "Empire" (Fox) and "How to Get Away with Murder" (ABC) are equally insane but we gave up on those shows after the first season. It was just too much.]
"Code Black" (NBC) offers a spiritual reboot of "ER." That either excites you or it doesn't. We didn't realize how much we missed that "ER" mix of strange medical jargon, workplace politics, guest stars looking for Emmys, and shocking medical tragedy packed as densely as possible into 50 minutes. Plus, Luis Guzman as a worldly nurse.
"Designated Survivor" (ABC) provides a fictional president that some Americans may be desperately craving: humble, measured, thoughtful President Kirkman (Keifer Sutherland) isn't the type to blast people on Twitter at 3:00am. The show is very well made and very compelling... but thanks to the efforts of a tireless FBI agent, who's all alone (of course) figuring out who blew up the Capitol, the audience is way way ahead of poor Kirkman and his staff. This is creating some serious narrative frustration. This is a show that needs to get things out in the open and kick it up a notch.
"The Good Place" (NBC) may not be the funniest show on the air, but it is without question the most creative and inventive show one the air, taking place as it does in heaven and involving a clerical error that sends there an undeserving person. Genius all the way around.
"Superstore" (NBC) is quickly evolving into a worthy blue-collar retail companion to NBC's brilliant "The Office." Quirky characters, workplace setting, snappy dialogue, plus those curious little B-roll vignettes. It's fantastic.
"Survivor" (CBS) continues to deliver the goods, exploring fascinating social dynamics - you're voting people out who will ultimately decide if you deserve the prize - amid ever-changing gameplay and strategy. The season that just wrapped was particularly strong. Yeah, we can't believe it either.
"This Is Us" (NBC) delivers manipulative, contrived schmaltz about the everyday dramas of an extended family. But it benefits greatly from a clever, time-shifting premise and a surprisingly strong cast. We hate ourselves for liking it as much as we do.
8.16.2016
Knee-jerk review: "Star Trek Beyond"
1. Okay, now this is more like it.
2. We mostly appreciated the 2009 Star Trek reboot, though looking back we may have been grading on a generous curve. We barely tolerated 2013's trainwreck Star Trek Into Darkness.
3. Amazing what can happen when you get J.J. Abrams out of the director's chair. Did we say that out loud? JJ has said in interviews he grew up a Star Wars fan and it shows: The Force Awakens strikes the right Star Wars mood and shines as a labor of love, while his two Star Trek movies mistake giant spectacle to the small character work and big questions that makes Star Trek special.
4. But what is the deal with the ongoing obsession with destroying the Enterprise on film? The Enterprise name is by now practically cursed.
5. Suggesting that the famous five-year mission might grow boring felt very fresh. Why wouldn't it be boring? You can't run into Klingons, Tribbles, or green-skinned Orion girls on every shift.
6. We're not sure what to make of Karl Urban, the only actor who's doing a mimic job. Yeah, his Dr. McCoy sounds just like DeForest Kelley, which is amusing... but shouldn't he sort of try to make it his own? It feels too much like a bit.
7. As with any good ensemble caper story, all of the characters here get to contribute to the solution and take action to save each other. No one's left behind, sitting around, opening hailing frequencies or scanning for delta particles. It's a fun, fun movie mostly because of this element.
8. But we really do need more of Kirk, Spock, and McCoy working together. These movies still find ways to keep them apart. They tell everyone how close they are, sure, but we'd like to see that for ourselves.
9. We were mostly unimpressed with the villain Krall (shades of Star Trek's limp, inscrutable Nero) until the final twist. In fact, we were surprised by a couple of story turns.
10. Bonus points for Kirk tearing his shirt.
11. Ditto the retro alien planet that looked like the California desert with some spray-painted rocks.
12. The "Sabotage" scene is a real crowd-pleaser. Goose bumps.
13. But our favorite was the sequence inside (and outside) the crashed ship. The 11-year-old version of ourself would have loved that.
14. How much do you think it cost to build that Yorktown space station? And how long did it take? These are the things we ask ourselves. An amazing visual, but it was like seven Manhattan islands all strung together... in space.
15. Looking forward to the next one.
2. We mostly appreciated the 2009 Star Trek reboot, though looking back we may have been grading on a generous curve. We barely tolerated 2013's trainwreck Star Trek Into Darkness.
3. Amazing what can happen when you get J.J. Abrams out of the director's chair. Did we say that out loud? JJ has said in interviews he grew up a Star Wars fan and it shows: The Force Awakens strikes the right Star Wars mood and shines as a labor of love, while his two Star Trek movies mistake giant spectacle to the small character work and big questions that makes Star Trek special.
4. But what is the deal with the ongoing obsession with destroying the Enterprise on film? The Enterprise name is by now practically cursed.
5. Suggesting that the famous five-year mission might grow boring felt very fresh. Why wouldn't it be boring? You can't run into Klingons, Tribbles, or green-skinned Orion girls on every shift.
6. We're not sure what to make of Karl Urban, the only actor who's doing a mimic job. Yeah, his Dr. McCoy sounds just like DeForest Kelley, which is amusing... but shouldn't he sort of try to make it his own? It feels too much like a bit.
7. As with any good ensemble caper story, all of the characters here get to contribute to the solution and take action to save each other. No one's left behind, sitting around, opening hailing frequencies or scanning for delta particles. It's a fun, fun movie mostly because of this element.
8. But we really do need more of Kirk, Spock, and McCoy working together. These movies still find ways to keep them apart. They tell everyone how close they are, sure, but we'd like to see that for ourselves.
9. We were mostly unimpressed with the villain Krall (shades of Star Trek's limp, inscrutable Nero) until the final twist. In fact, we were surprised by a couple of story turns.
10. Bonus points for Kirk tearing his shirt.
11. Ditto the retro alien planet that looked like the California desert with some spray-painted rocks.
12. The "Sabotage" scene is a real crowd-pleaser. Goose bumps.
13. But our favorite was the sequence inside (and outside) the crashed ship. The 11-year-old version of ourself would have loved that.
14. How much do you think it cost to build that Yorktown space station? And how long did it take? These are the things we ask ourselves. An amazing visual, but it was like seven Manhattan islands all strung together... in space.
15. Looking forward to the next one.
8.06.2016
3 rules of karaoke etiquette
We have been known to partake in the dark art of karaoke, living out secret dreams of music stardom, revealing pop culture song savvy, wondering if we sound as good on a microphone as we do with the shower water running or our car idling at a stop light. For a while there in our late 20s and early 30s, every few months or so featured some house party involving the rental of a 1000-song karaoke hard drive from a mom-and-pop party outfit east of downtown Los Angeles. Our return to Texas has sent us to a Little Korea bar with private karaoke rooms. Five visits so far and counting.
But there are rules, people.
1. If you can't sing it, don't request it. Before you punch in the song number, think it over. Sing the song in your head. Can you do it? Really do it? Plenty of memorable choruses also feature impossibly obscure verses (Exhibit A: Third Eye Blind's "Semi-Charmed Life"). Avoid the "gong" - that sad moment when the group collectively overrides your choice and moves onto the next song. Yeah, it's all in good fun but a little part of you will die a slow death inside. Bottom line: develop a group of "go to" songs that you can nail.
2. Choose only popular songs everyone can enjoy. Karaoke isn't the time to display your affinity for Garth Brooks B-sides or British heavy metal (exception: Def Leppard). No one cares about those songs because no one's heard of those songs. (That these karaoke catalogs have those ridiculous choices available, but don't have half of the top-40 hits you're seeking, remains an enduring unsolved mystery.) Karaoke should be a communal experience of inclusion. If more than half of the room isn't singing along with you, you chose poorly.
3. Give everyone a turn. This doesn't just mean refrain from hogging the song book, which you should never ever do. It also means not turning into guy who stacks the queue with a string of songs. This isn't a classic rock station and you're not Johnny Fever. Pick your song, plug it in, then wait until you perform that song before selecting the next one. Like the crowded on-ramp merge, everyone gets a turn.
But there are rules, people.
1. If you can't sing it, don't request it. Before you punch in the song number, think it over. Sing the song in your head. Can you do it? Really do it? Plenty of memorable choruses also feature impossibly obscure verses (Exhibit A: Third Eye Blind's "Semi-Charmed Life"). Avoid the "gong" - that sad moment when the group collectively overrides your choice and moves onto the next song. Yeah, it's all in good fun but a little part of you will die a slow death inside. Bottom line: develop a group of "go to" songs that you can nail.
2. Choose only popular songs everyone can enjoy. Karaoke isn't the time to display your affinity for Garth Brooks B-sides or British heavy metal (exception: Def Leppard). No one cares about those songs because no one's heard of those songs. (That these karaoke catalogs have those ridiculous choices available, but don't have half of the top-40 hits you're seeking, remains an enduring unsolved mystery.) Karaoke should be a communal experience of inclusion. If more than half of the room isn't singing along with you, you chose poorly.
3. Give everyone a turn. This doesn't just mean refrain from hogging the song book, which you should never ever do. It also means not turning into guy who stacks the queue with a string of songs. This isn't a classic rock station and you're not Johnny Fever. Pick your song, plug it in, then wait until you perform that song before selecting the next one. Like the crowded on-ramp merge, everyone gets a turn.
Knee-jerk review: "Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates"
1. Someone we know who works in Hollywood as a studio marketing executive often reminds us that if the trailer (or TV spot) for a comedy isn't funny, be wary. The producers should be putting the funny stuff - assuming they have funny stuff and not every comedy does - in the advertising. We found the trailer for Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates to be utterly hilarious. So we cashed in a grandparent babysitting chit to go see it.
2. We laughed a lot. Some funny bits, for sure. Like the ATV accident, the "happy ending"massage , the sauna.
3. But was it a good movie? Maybe not so much. It's in the R-rated raunchy vein of Wedding Crashers or Superbad or Neighbors. But it's not nearly as clever or memorable as those movies. Although we must give it some credit for trying to make the female characters act just as crude and horrible as the male characters.
4. Good performances, yes. Adam Devine is always funny. And Audrey Plaza predictably does that quirky snarky thing she does. But we were surprised how good Anna Kendrick was playing a dimwit.
5. That said, we get the feeling everyone involved thought everything was a little more hilarious than it actually turned out to be.
6. Pretty unimaginative title, too.
7. Selling liquor to hip bars in New York City. Another of those phony, only-in-movies jobs that 20somethings often have. And you should see the groovy, giant apartment Mike and Dave share. We all could use a Hollywood production designer to decorate our homes.
8. We understand now why the set-up (two screwballs are forced by their family to bring dates to a Hawaii family wedding so they won't ruin everything; their hunt for dates goes viral; two screwball girls decide to play "nice girls" to get a free vacation) is so forced and strained - it's supposedly based on a true story. Seems like there would be an easier way to get the two couples together since that's where the story really takes off.
9. A perfectly placed f-bomb can be hilarious. But less is more. This is one of those movies where every other word is the f-bomb. It's too much. You become so numb that the word loses all meaning. Or is that the point? (And does it make us sound old and cranky to make this complaint in the first place? Probably.)
2. We laughed a lot. Some funny bits, for sure. Like the ATV accident, the "happy ending"massage , the sauna.
3. But was it a good movie? Maybe not so much. It's in the R-rated raunchy vein of Wedding Crashers or Superbad or Neighbors. But it's not nearly as clever or memorable as those movies. Although we must give it some credit for trying to make the female characters act just as crude and horrible as the male characters.
4. Good performances, yes. Adam Devine is always funny. And Audrey Plaza predictably does that quirky snarky thing she does. But we were surprised how good Anna Kendrick was playing a dimwit.
5. That said, we get the feeling everyone involved thought everything was a little more hilarious than it actually turned out to be.
6. Pretty unimaginative title, too.
7. Selling liquor to hip bars in New York City. Another of those phony, only-in-movies jobs that 20somethings often have. And you should see the groovy, giant apartment Mike and Dave share. We all could use a Hollywood production designer to decorate our homes.
8. We understand now why the set-up (two screwballs are forced by their family to bring dates to a Hawaii family wedding so they won't ruin everything; their hunt for dates goes viral; two screwball girls decide to play "nice girls" to get a free vacation) is so forced and strained - it's supposedly based on a true story. Seems like there would be an easier way to get the two couples together since that's where the story really takes off.
9. A perfectly placed f-bomb can be hilarious. But less is more. This is one of those movies where every other word is the f-bomb. It's too much. You become so numb that the word loses all meaning. Or is that the point? (And does it make us sound old and cranky to make this complaint in the first place? Probably.)
5.17.2016
Knee-jerk review: "Everybody Wants Some"
1. Touted as the "spiritual sequel" to one of our favorite movies ever - Richard Linklater's 1993 masterpiece Dazed and Confused.
2. While Dazed and Confused explored a gaggle of high school students on the last day of school in 1976, this film looks at college student exploits in the three days leading up to the first day of school in 1980. Nice symmetry.
3. Someone smarter than us coined this sort of format for TV shows like "Seinfeld" and "Friends" - the "hangout show." The fun isn't what happens so much as watching it happen to these funny characters.
4. Seemed like smaller, limited-release movies like this would play for weeks in Los Angeles. But here in Texas, if you don't move fast you'll never catch one. We drove 40 minutes to see this.
5. It was worth it.
6. As we all know by now, Linklater has an ear for quirky, naturalistic dialogue and an uncanny knack for casting unknowns.
7. There's not much plot (as expected in a hangout), but it certainly feels like a documentary-like immersion in the subculture of male athletes - how they waste time, how they pursue girls, how they joke with each other. Linklater, like the characters, played college baseball on a scholarship. It shows. The little details pop.
8. Some interesting background stuff here that points to the cultural transformation of the late 1970s/early 1980s music as our guys spend time pursuing girls at a disco, a honkytonk, a punk club, and a New Wave-infused house party. The times they were a-changing.
9. Note also the way the film draws a clear distinction between the empty-headed patter of girl-chasing in the clubs and the way hero Jake has quiet, meaningful conversations with the girl he likes.
10. Glen Powell shines as psuedo-intellectual Finnegan, a part that would have gone to Owen Wilson 15 years ago.
11. Guess everyone in Texas in 1980 drank Schlitz or Lone Star.
12. The setting helps steep the story in nostalgia, but it's a familiar situation to any college student. You may have been the big shot in high school, but now you're in a group of 10 other high school big-shots.
13. Gold star for the final visual of the movie: a teacher scrawling on the chalkboard one of the themes of the movie: "Frontiers are where you find them." Take advantage. Carpe diem. Yadda yadda.
14. We loved it.
2. While Dazed and Confused explored a gaggle of high school students on the last day of school in 1976, this film looks at college student exploits in the three days leading up to the first day of school in 1980. Nice symmetry.
3. Someone smarter than us coined this sort of format for TV shows like "Seinfeld" and "Friends" - the "hangout show." The fun isn't what happens so much as watching it happen to these funny characters.
4. Seemed like smaller, limited-release movies like this would play for weeks in Los Angeles. But here in Texas, if you don't move fast you'll never catch one. We drove 40 minutes to see this.
5. It was worth it.
6. As we all know by now, Linklater has an ear for quirky, naturalistic dialogue and an uncanny knack for casting unknowns.
7. There's not much plot (as expected in a hangout), but it certainly feels like a documentary-like immersion in the subculture of male athletes - how they waste time, how they pursue girls, how they joke with each other. Linklater, like the characters, played college baseball on a scholarship. It shows. The little details pop.
8. Some interesting background stuff here that points to the cultural transformation of the late 1970s/early 1980s music as our guys spend time pursuing girls at a disco, a honkytonk, a punk club, and a New Wave-infused house party. The times they were a-changing.
9. Note also the way the film draws a clear distinction between the empty-headed patter of girl-chasing in the clubs and the way hero Jake has quiet, meaningful conversations with the girl he likes.
10. Glen Powell shines as psuedo-intellectual Finnegan, a part that would have gone to Owen Wilson 15 years ago.
11. Guess everyone in Texas in 1980 drank Schlitz or Lone Star.
12. The setting helps steep the story in nostalgia, but it's a familiar situation to any college student. You may have been the big shot in high school, but now you're in a group of 10 other high school big-shots.
13. Gold star for the final visual of the movie: a teacher scrawling on the chalkboard one of the themes of the movie: "Frontiers are where you find them." Take advantage. Carpe diem. Yadda yadda.
14. We loved it.
Shows on our DVR (Winter-Spring 2016)
Here's a list of shows we spent the last few months recording on our DVR.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC) - This is a strange one, if only because it's reinvented itself several times partly to line up with the Marvel movies. That degree of narrative turnover is admirable, but it can be a little alienating (no pun intended). Sometimes we think it's a show we keep watching just because we always have.
The Americans (AMC) - Soviet spies living in 1980s American suburbia. What a premise. Best drama on television. Period. If you're not watching it, you're making a big mistake.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS) - It's always amusing, but never really hilarious. Comfort food. The wife/girlfriend characters are usually funnier than the male leads.
Blackish (ABC) - This is our new favorite. Everyday family foibles reflected through the lens of an African-American family, all of it energized by a jolt of the absurd. Top-notch. Bonus points for some important racial/cultural discussions.
Blindspot (NBC) - It's a loud, dumb show full of clunky exposition, ridiculous coincidences, and credulity-stretching plot holes. But... it's also a whole lot of fun and benefits from a cast that completely sells the crazy. Guilty pleasure.
Fear the Walking Dead (AMC) - The ocean setting is novel and actor Ruben Blades is magnetic. But it's a show that's mostly needless. The only people eager for this sequel show were AMC executives.
The Good Wife (CBS) - Just ended its run as probably the best network drama on TV. It jumped the shark a couple of years ago when the show inexplicably wasted one whole season on Alicia Florick running for office. But when it was good, it was HBO good. Layered, quirky, plush, smart.
How to Get Away with Murder (ABC) - We're losing interest fast. Probably shouldn't even be on this list. There's something fascinating about the way the show burns through twists and plot turns that other shows might milk for a whole season, but storytelling tricks like that aren't enough when the entire cast of characters are this skeevy.
Modern Family (ABC) - About as slickly produced and well-oiled as a sitcom can be. Dependable, reliable, it's the Volvo of comedy. But there's only two reasons to watch, really: Ty Burrell and Ed O'Neill.
Orphan Black (BBC America) - It can be impossible to keep straight the many plot twists and knots of conspiracy in this tale of clones and genetic engineering. But the work by actress Tatiana Maslany - who plays all of the clones - is nothing short of amazing. You'll forget it's the same actress. She should be winning Emmys.
The Price is Right (CBS) - There's nothing better to put on when you're washing dishes, making dinner, or folding laundry.
Supergirl (CBS) - As many others have noted, it's a welcome antidote to the sour bleakness of the Zack Snyder DC superhero movies. A fun, fizzy show with entertaining villains, cute dialogue, and a fantastic lead performance by Melissa Benoist.
Survivor (CBS) - Since its debut in 2000, we've missed just one edition. We're just as surprised as you are that it's still compelling and engaging. The last few editions have been among the very best. Jeff Probst has the best job on TV.
The Walking Dead (AMC) - A grim show that too often revels in its grimness. But we're fond of many of the characters and more and more the story has (thankfully) turned more toward community-building rather than zombie-killing.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC) - This is a strange one, if only because it's reinvented itself several times partly to line up with the Marvel movies. That degree of narrative turnover is admirable, but it can be a little alienating (no pun intended). Sometimes we think it's a show we keep watching just because we always have.
The Americans (AMC) - Soviet spies living in 1980s American suburbia. What a premise. Best drama on television. Period. If you're not watching it, you're making a big mistake.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS) - It's always amusing, but never really hilarious. Comfort food. The wife/girlfriend characters are usually funnier than the male leads.
Blackish (ABC) - This is our new favorite. Everyday family foibles reflected through the lens of an African-American family, all of it energized by a jolt of the absurd. Top-notch. Bonus points for some important racial/cultural discussions.
Blindspot (NBC) - It's a loud, dumb show full of clunky exposition, ridiculous coincidences, and credulity-stretching plot holes. But... it's also a whole lot of fun and benefits from a cast that completely sells the crazy. Guilty pleasure.
Fear the Walking Dead (AMC) - The ocean setting is novel and actor Ruben Blades is magnetic. But it's a show that's mostly needless. The only people eager for this sequel show were AMC executives.
The Good Wife (CBS) - Just ended its run as probably the best network drama on TV. It jumped the shark a couple of years ago when the show inexplicably wasted one whole season on Alicia Florick running for office. But when it was good, it was HBO good. Layered, quirky, plush, smart.
How to Get Away with Murder (ABC) - We're losing interest fast. Probably shouldn't even be on this list. There's something fascinating about the way the show burns through twists and plot turns that other shows might milk for a whole season, but storytelling tricks like that aren't enough when the entire cast of characters are this skeevy.
Modern Family (ABC) - About as slickly produced and well-oiled as a sitcom can be. Dependable, reliable, it's the Volvo of comedy. But there's only two reasons to watch, really: Ty Burrell and Ed O'Neill.
Orphan Black (BBC America) - It can be impossible to keep straight the many plot twists and knots of conspiracy in this tale of clones and genetic engineering. But the work by actress Tatiana Maslany - who plays all of the clones - is nothing short of amazing. You'll forget it's the same actress. She should be winning Emmys.
The Price is Right (CBS) - There's nothing better to put on when you're washing dishes, making dinner, or folding laundry.
Supergirl (CBS) - As many others have noted, it's a welcome antidote to the sour bleakness of the Zack Snyder DC superhero movies. A fun, fizzy show with entertaining villains, cute dialogue, and a fantastic lead performance by Melissa Benoist.
Survivor (CBS) - Since its debut in 2000, we've missed just one edition. We're just as surprised as you are that it's still compelling and engaging. The last few editions have been among the very best. Jeff Probst has the best job on TV.
The Walking Dead (AMC) - A grim show that too often revels in its grimness. But we're fond of many of the characters and more and more the story has (thankfully) turned more toward community-building rather than zombie-killing.
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