12.09.2005
Sienna is the new Gertrude
Baby Name Wizard offers a cool interactive graph that can tell you the popularity of baby names over the last 100 years.
The Frigid 50
Film Threat lists here the "Frigid 50" - people in Hollywood right now who are anything but hot, popular, in-demand, or intriguing.
12.05.2005
There are fans... and then there are fans
The December issue of Wired magazine has a fun article about a group of fervent Star Trek fans who are creating new episodes for the 1960s TV series, using as a jumping-off point the question of what might have happened if NBC hadn't have cancelled the show after its third season.
Lost “What Kate Did”
Cool: It’s fun to see Kate blow up her lecherous drunk of a stepfather in the opening sequence, the crime that first sent her on the run from the law. Points will have to be deducted, however, because the show’s producers resort to the hackneyed camera angle of the house exploding in the background as Kate roars towards the camera on a motorcycle in the foreground. This tired gimmick wasn’t even fresh back in the 1970s when CHiPs, The Rockford Files, and Magnum P.I. were using it.
Cooler: The last scene. Michael types a response back to an unexpected “Hello” message on the Apple II-C and gets back a reply from someone (“Dad?”) who might be Walt. A powerhouse of an ending, which is good considering we won’t be getting any new episodes until mid-January.
Coolest: Mr. Eko comes through yet again, producing for Locke the missing pieces of the Hanso orientation film that will surely provide interesting tidbits in the coming episodes. Already we learn from one respliced section about the dangers of using the computer to communicate, which is - of course - what Michael's in the next room doing at that very moment.
Huh? Why isn’t Hurley losing weight? And why isn’t Jack’s close-cut hair growing? It’s been over 45 days now since the crash.
Best Line: “Don’t forget the button” – Jack to Kate as he leaves her alone with Sawyer in the hatch. A subtle reminder for the audience that despite all of the drama going on lately with the tail section survivors, Jack, Locke, Kate, et al have been working in shifts all this time to be sure the numbers get imputed every 108 minutes.
Cooler: The last scene. Michael types a response back to an unexpected “Hello” message on the Apple II-C and gets back a reply from someone (“Dad?”) who might be Walt. A powerhouse of an ending, which is good considering we won’t be getting any new episodes until mid-January.
Coolest: Mr. Eko comes through yet again, producing for Locke the missing pieces of the Hanso orientation film that will surely provide interesting tidbits in the coming episodes. Already we learn from one respliced section about the dangers of using the computer to communicate, which is - of course - what Michael's in the next room doing at that very moment.
Huh? Why isn’t Hurley losing weight? And why isn’t Jack’s close-cut hair growing? It’s been over 45 days now since the crash.
Best Line: “Don’t forget the button” – Jack to Kate as he leaves her alone with Sawyer in the hatch. A subtle reminder for the audience that despite all of the drama going on lately with the tail section survivors, Jack, Locke, Kate, et al have been working in shifts all this time to be sure the numbers get imputed every 108 minutes.
12.02.2005
Lost “Collision”
Cool: It was great to learn about what turned Ana-Lucia into such a sneering tough girl (and why she’s so at ease handling a gun and questioning "suspects" like Nathan and Goodwin). Even more intriguing is the suggestion that she’s not only angry at losing her boyfriend and her unborn baby, but also consumed with self-hatred and guilt over killing the man responsible for her losing her boyfriend and unborn baby.
Cooler: Sayid and Mr. Eko tangling in the jungle mud is about as evenly pitched a fight as one could imagine. Except maybe Mr. Eko and Locke, which is surely coming eventually.
Huh?: Does anyone really believe that the LAPD would ever allow a patrol cop to work in the precinct where her mother was her supervisor?
Best Line: “I was pregnant.” – Ana-Lucia’s line to her would-be killer Kevin, moments before pumping a number of bullets into him, some from a distance, a few more up close for good measure. Without question, this is a melodramatic development that would fit right in on Desperate Housewives, but they can’t all be home runs.
Falling: The producers – Yeah, it was gratifying to see all those reunions, Jin and Sun, Bernard and Rose, Michael and Walt’s dog. But the slow motion music montage approach to this sequence was a little cheesy, reminiscent of a feel-good Hallmark ad.
Cooler: Sayid and Mr. Eko tangling in the jungle mud is about as evenly pitched a fight as one could imagine. Except maybe Mr. Eko and Locke, which is surely coming eventually.
Huh?: Does anyone really believe that the LAPD would ever allow a patrol cop to work in the precinct where her mother was her supervisor?
Best Line: “I was pregnant.” – Ana-Lucia’s line to her would-be killer Kevin, moments before pumping a number of bullets into him, some from a distance, a few more up close for good measure. Without question, this is a melodramatic development that would fit right in on Desperate Housewives, but they can’t all be home runs.
Falling: The producers – Yeah, it was gratifying to see all those reunions, Jin and Sun, Bernard and Rose, Michael and Walt’s dog. But the slow motion music montage approach to this sequence was a little cheesy, reminiscent of a feel-good Hallmark ad.
11.30.2005
Lost “The Other 48 Days”
Cool: The episode’s opening sequence. First comes the crashing tail section, shattering the calm of the tranquil beach. Then comes a jittery, post-crash chaos as survivors wade to shore and tend to the injured, all of it goosed by shaky handheld camerawork and jarring jump cuts (thank you, Saving Private Ryan).
Cooler: At last we find out who Boone was talking to on that radio conversation from last season. “No, we’re the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815!” Poor Boone.
Coolest: The Others had a list of people to take. That’s definitely goosebump–worthy. But then comes Goodwin’s explanation that only the good people are taken (“Nathan’s not a good person... that’s why he wasn’t on the list”). The implication seems to be that only the amoral, guilty, and sinful are left behind, which conforms to the fan theory that the island is a kind of purgatory where the characters are allowed a second chance at redemption. Trippy.
Huh? The tail-section survivors are terrorized by the Others in a way that Jack, Kate, Locke et al never were. Why is that, aside from the fact that the Others seem to target lesser known actors who get smaller paychecks from ABC? Did the tail-section survivors simply have the bad luck to wash up on the wrong side of the island closer to the Others’ camp? At least these guys can handle themselves. Charlie shot Ethan, but the tail-section survivors manage to kill four Others with their bare freakin’ hands (and one sharp stick).
Throwaway that May Be Important Later: What’s the deal with that 20-year-old Army knife Ana-Lucia pulled off the dead Other? Is the military involved in this somehow? Agent Mulder wouldn’t be surprised, that’s for sure.
Best Line: “If I were a savage I would’ve cut off his finger already. That’s tomorrow.” – Ana-Lucia explaining her theory on the complex intersection of compassionate civility and prisoner interrogation to Goodwin. A runner-up here would be Goodwin’s reply: “We’re not savages.” Is he perhaps trying to send a message about the Others? Are they simply misunderstood victims in all of this?
Rising: Ana-Lucia – In a remarkable turnaround, Ana-Lucia reverses several episodes’ worth of irritating negativity by proving herself a decisive woman of action. Sure, she got it all wrong with locking up poor hapless Nathan. But she sure made amends by correctly sussing out Goodwin’s true identity and then dispatching him in a manner worth of a Die Hard movie (see "sharp stick" reference above).
Cooler: At last we find out who Boone was talking to on that radio conversation from last season. “No, we’re the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815!” Poor Boone.
Coolest: The Others had a list of people to take. That’s definitely goosebump–worthy. But then comes Goodwin’s explanation that only the good people are taken (“Nathan’s not a good person... that’s why he wasn’t on the list”). The implication seems to be that only the amoral, guilty, and sinful are left behind, which conforms to the fan theory that the island is a kind of purgatory where the characters are allowed a second chance at redemption. Trippy.
Huh? The tail-section survivors are terrorized by the Others in a way that Jack, Kate, Locke et al never were. Why is that, aside from the fact that the Others seem to target lesser known actors who get smaller paychecks from ABC? Did the tail-section survivors simply have the bad luck to wash up on the wrong side of the island closer to the Others’ camp? At least these guys can handle themselves. Charlie shot Ethan, but the tail-section survivors manage to kill four Others with their bare freakin’ hands (and one sharp stick).
Throwaway that May Be Important Later: What’s the deal with that 20-year-old Army knife Ana-Lucia pulled off the dead Other? Is the military involved in this somehow? Agent Mulder wouldn’t be surprised, that’s for sure.
Best Line: “If I were a savage I would’ve cut off his finger already. That’s tomorrow.” – Ana-Lucia explaining her theory on the complex intersection of compassionate civility and prisoner interrogation to Goodwin. A runner-up here would be Goodwin’s reply: “We’re not savages.” Is he perhaps trying to send a message about the Others? Are they simply misunderstood victims in all of this?
Rising: Ana-Lucia – In a remarkable turnaround, Ana-Lucia reverses several episodes’ worth of irritating negativity by proving herself a decisive woman of action. Sure, she got it all wrong with locking up poor hapless Nathan. But she sure made amends by correctly sussing out Goodwin’s true identity and then dispatching him in a manner worth of a Die Hard movie (see "sharp stick" reference above).
11.25.2005
Lost “Abandoned”
Cool: It’s a pretty creepy moment when tail-section survivor Cindy somehow disappears from the group as they’re working to hoist Sawyer-in-the-stretcher up a hill. One moment she’s with the group and the next she’s not.
Cooler: Television network promos often play fast and loose with the facts (e.g. NBC’s unending promise that next week’s episode of The Apprentice will bring us the most shocking boardroom moment ever). So it was with jaded skepticism that The Cheese Fry watched this episode of Lost, which ABC marketing wizards insisted would feature one character getting “lost forever.” Surely it would be some minor character like last season's Artz. They even stuck in the Cindy red herring to throw us off the scent. In the end, it was Shannon who died, accidentally shot dead by Ana-Lucia in the final moments. Shocking. True, she's not Matthew Fox, but she's no day player either.
Coolest: The look of rage Sayid gives Ana-Lucia when he realizes Shannon is dead (this just moments after he proclaimed his love to her). Sucks to be Ana-Lucia.
Huh?: If the Walt Ghost is clearly urging Shannon to “shush” with his finger to his lips, why does Shannon instead go running into the trees shouting his name? It's that commotion that draws Ana-Lucia's fire. Though Shannon’s flashback about her Evil Stepmom and ther Crushed Dancer Dreams added dimension to her character and created some real sympathy, she must bear at least some responsibility for her own untimely death. Insert your own blonde joke here.
Geek Factoid: In this episode, no Jack, no Kate.
Rising: Locke – Actor Terry O’Quinn is so mesmerizing that a rather minor subplot suggesting the beginnings of a Locke-Charlie power play over Claire’s baby was completely riveting. O'Quinn always does a lot with very little.
Falling: Michael – no surprise to say that he remains as annoying as ever. In the middle of a crisis with the tail-section survivors and Sawyer dying, there’s Michael blurting out “They took my son!” just to make sure no one forgot. Dude, we get it. If only he’d been the one “lost forever.”
Cooler: Television network promos often play fast and loose with the facts (e.g. NBC’s unending promise that next week’s episode of The Apprentice will bring us the most shocking boardroom moment ever). So it was with jaded skepticism that The Cheese Fry watched this episode of Lost, which ABC marketing wizards insisted would feature one character getting “lost forever.” Surely it would be some minor character like last season's Artz. They even stuck in the Cindy red herring to throw us off the scent. In the end, it was Shannon who died, accidentally shot dead by Ana-Lucia in the final moments. Shocking. True, she's not Matthew Fox, but she's no day player either.
Coolest: The look of rage Sayid gives Ana-Lucia when he realizes Shannon is dead (this just moments after he proclaimed his love to her). Sucks to be Ana-Lucia.
Huh?: If the Walt Ghost is clearly urging Shannon to “shush” with his finger to his lips, why does Shannon instead go running into the trees shouting his name? It's that commotion that draws Ana-Lucia's fire. Though Shannon’s flashback about her Evil Stepmom and ther Crushed Dancer Dreams added dimension to her character and created some real sympathy, she must bear at least some responsibility for her own untimely death. Insert your own blonde joke here.
Geek Factoid: In this episode, no Jack, no Kate.
Rising: Locke – Actor Terry O’Quinn is so mesmerizing that a rather minor subplot suggesting the beginnings of a Locke-Charlie power play over Claire’s baby was completely riveting. O'Quinn always does a lot with very little.
Falling: Michael – no surprise to say that he remains as annoying as ever. In the middle of a crisis with the tail-section survivors and Sawyer dying, there’s Michael blurting out “They took my son!” just to make sure no one forgot. Dude, we get it. If only he’d been the one “lost forever.”
Red State, Blue State, Purple State
An interesting page here that uses a number of maps to look at the 2004 U.S. Presidential election returns. America isn't as dominated by Red States as Republicans may like to suggest.
11.23.2005
Ode to T-NBC
Surf dudes with attitudes / Kinda groovy / Laid back moods
Sky above, sand below / Good vibrations / Feelin' mellow
Don't give it up / Don't wanna stop
Don't wake me up / Don't wake me up if I'm dreamin'
California dreams / Just let me lay here in the sun / Until my dream is done
* * * *
When I wake up in the morning
And the 'larm lets out a warning
I don't think I'll ever make it on time
By the time I got my books I give myself a look
I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus slide by
It's alright cause I'm saved by the bell
If the teacher pops a test I know I'm a mess
And my dog ate all my homework last night
Riding low in my chair she won't know that I'm there
If I can hand it in tomorrow it'll be alright
It's alright cause I'm saved by the bell
Sky above, sand below / Good vibrations / Feelin' mellow
Don't give it up / Don't wanna stop
Don't wake me up / Don't wake me up if I'm dreamin'
California dreams / Just let me lay here in the sun / Until my dream is done
* * * *
When I wake up in the morning
And the 'larm lets out a warning
I don't think I'll ever make it on time
By the time I got my books I give myself a look
I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus slide by
It's alright cause I'm saved by the bell
If the teacher pops a test I know I'm a mess
And my dog ate all my homework last night
Riding low in my chair she won't know that I'm there
If I can hand it in tomorrow it'll be alright
It's alright cause I'm saved by the bell
11.18.2005
Movie attendance is shrinking, whether studios want to admit it or not
From the November 18, 2005 issue of Entertainment Weekly comes this little tidbit buried away in a small text box on page 109: Exhibitor Relations states that overall movie theater attendance is down 8% in 2005. That's on top of an already widely reported - and widely disputed - account that box office grosses are down 6.1%.
There's been dozens of heated debates about whether or not box office grosses are truly down. Statistics can say just about anything you want them to say and this summer, some reporters seemed to have a lot of fun poking a stick at the Hollywood studios and their so-called "slump" (the string of many weeks in the spring and summer in which 2005 box office grosses each weekend failed to match their counterpart weekend from 2004). Those stories drew attacks from Hollywood insiders who claimed the numbers were misleading, which then drew counter-attacks. Blah blah blah. In a town where creative bookkeeping is artform, it's hard to know what's really going on in the exchange of money between exhibitors, distributors, and studios.
The Entertainment Weekly blurb notes also that thanks to a 2% increase in ticket prices this year (the average is now $6.34 per ticket) it now takes fewer moviegoers to spend the same amount of money as they did in 2004. Which means that about 102 million fewer tickets have been sold in 2005 when compared to 2004. That's a lot of people. Multiply 102 million times $6.34 and you get $646 million in lost revenue.
Even taking into account the fact that statistics can be twisted, these two facts (box office down, attendance down) may well suggest that the movie business is about to be in trouble. The evidence seems to be becoming less and less anecdotal and more impossible to ignore. People aren't going to the movies the way they used to. Whether it's because of bad movies, competition from the Internet and video games, or the growing phenomenon of thousand-dollar home theater systems, it's hard to say. Big branded event films can and will still draw huge crowds, whether it's a giant ape or a wizard named Harry, which is why Hollywood is more and more trying to turn every single movie into an "event" that has to be seen. Soon, though, there will be some real audience fatigue and smaller films will increasingly get lost in the shuffle.
We're at a brink of a huge transformation in the movie business. No one can say for sure where this is going, but the old days are over. Whether Hollywood likes it or not.
There's been dozens of heated debates about whether or not box office grosses are truly down. Statistics can say just about anything you want them to say and this summer, some reporters seemed to have a lot of fun poking a stick at the Hollywood studios and their so-called "slump" (the string of many weeks in the spring and summer in which 2005 box office grosses each weekend failed to match their counterpart weekend from 2004). Those stories drew attacks from Hollywood insiders who claimed the numbers were misleading, which then drew counter-attacks. Blah blah blah. In a town where creative bookkeeping is artform, it's hard to know what's really going on in the exchange of money between exhibitors, distributors, and studios.
The Entertainment Weekly blurb notes also that thanks to a 2% increase in ticket prices this year (the average is now $6.34 per ticket) it now takes fewer moviegoers to spend the same amount of money as they did in 2004. Which means that about 102 million fewer tickets have been sold in 2005 when compared to 2004. That's a lot of people. Multiply 102 million times $6.34 and you get $646 million in lost revenue.
Even taking into account the fact that statistics can be twisted, these two facts (box office down, attendance down) may well suggest that the movie business is about to be in trouble. The evidence seems to be becoming less and less anecdotal and more impossible to ignore. People aren't going to the movies the way they used to. Whether it's because of bad movies, competition from the Internet and video games, or the growing phenomenon of thousand-dollar home theater systems, it's hard to say. Big branded event films can and will still draw huge crowds, whether it's a giant ape or a wizard named Harry, which is why Hollywood is more and more trying to turn every single movie into an "event" that has to be seen. Soon, though, there will be some real audience fatigue and smaller films will increasingly get lost in the shuffle.
We're at a brink of a huge transformation in the movie business. No one can say for sure where this is going, but the old days are over. Whether Hollywood likes it or not.
11.11.2005
Lost “...and Found”
Cool: We get here our first real glimpse of the Others – aside from the late spy Ethan – as they walk through the jungle right past Mr. Eko and Jin, who’ve hidden themselves in the bushes to avoid detection. Eko had earlier said the Others “don’t leave tracks,” a fact that seems borne out by the fact that the Others seem to tread very, very quietly. Weird. They are human, right? Right?
Cooler: Perhaps the episode’s most indelibly unsettling image is that of a beat-up teddy bear being dragged along the ground by a child in the group of Others.
Huh? Sawyer makes a reasonable request in asking the tail section survivors why they’re all so scared. But they (more specifically, unofficial bitch leader Ana-Lucia) refuse to answer the question, demanding instead that they walk first and talk later. How difficult can it be to just tell our heroes what’s going on? Just say it! This is clearly one of those irritating logic hiccups required by the needs of the story. The writers don’t want us knowing too much just yet so the characters can’t say too much just yet, whether it makes sense or not.
Rising: Mr. Eko – Yeah, it’s awfully convenient that this set of survivors has their own version of John Locke, the strong-but-silent bad-ass who knows how to track. (How many trackers were there on Flight 815?) But actor Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje sure is a lot of fun to watch.
Falling: Ana-Lucia – As annoying as this character is with her needless sarcasm and tough-girl posing, the real problem here is the casting of one-note Michelle Rodriguez who’s clearly trying to make a career for herself playing the same sneering tomboy character as many times as possible.
Cooler: Perhaps the episode’s most indelibly unsettling image is that of a beat-up teddy bear being dragged along the ground by a child in the group of Others.
Huh? Sawyer makes a reasonable request in asking the tail section survivors why they’re all so scared. But they (more specifically, unofficial bitch leader Ana-Lucia) refuse to answer the question, demanding instead that they walk first and talk later. How difficult can it be to just tell our heroes what’s going on? Just say it! This is clearly one of those irritating logic hiccups required by the needs of the story. The writers don’t want us knowing too much just yet so the characters can’t say too much just yet, whether it makes sense or not.
Rising: Mr. Eko – Yeah, it’s awfully convenient that this set of survivors has their own version of John Locke, the strong-but-silent bad-ass who knows how to track. (How many trackers were there on Flight 815?) But actor Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje sure is a lot of fun to watch.
Falling: Ana-Lucia – As annoying as this character is with her needless sarcasm and tough-girl posing, the real problem here is the casting of one-note Michelle Rodriguez who’s clearly trying to make a career for herself playing the same sneering tomboy character as many times as possible.
11.08.2005
Lost “Everybody Hates Hugo”
Cool: Though it’s certainly enjoyable to see Kate step naked out of a shower all wet and clean, letting Jack accidentally walk in on her as she’s doing so feels like something out of a late-night Cinemax movie.
Huh?: Why would Jack put Hurley in charge of the bunker’s food supply? He can't be serious with that.
Best Line: “You want me, Hot Lips?” – Sawyer's sneer to Anna Lucia, who clearly doesn’t like him.
Falling: Charlie – He’s fast becoming the show’s annoying kid brother. Here we get to see him whine and pout and stomp his feet over some stupid peanut butter. Like there aren't any other, more pressing issues to be managed first.
Rising: Hurley – It’s an unexpected, though completely understandable, moment to learn Hurley didn't immediately cash in on his winning lottery ticket, choosing instead to carefully consider the consequences. He correctly guesses that his humdrum (though pleasant) life will change forever.
Huh?: Why would Jack put Hurley in charge of the bunker’s food supply? He can't be serious with that.
Best Line: “You want me, Hot Lips?” – Sawyer's sneer to Anna Lucia, who clearly doesn’t like him.
Falling: Charlie – He’s fast becoming the show’s annoying kid brother. Here we get to see him whine and pout and stomp his feet over some stupid peanut butter. Like there aren't any other, more pressing issues to be managed first.
Rising: Hurley – It’s an unexpected, though completely understandable, moment to learn Hurley didn't immediately cash in on his winning lottery ticket, choosing instead to carefully consider the consequences. He correctly guesses that his humdrum (though pleasant) life will change forever.
Lost “Orientation”
Cool: You have to love the grainy, faded 1970 Dharma Initiative “orientation” film, which answers a few questions and raises many others. Clearly, something very weird (and very purposeful) has been happening on the island.
Cooler: This is a good time to give gold stars to the show’s distinctive sound cues: the gradual “whooshing” that signals the beginning and end of flashbacks and the resonant “booms” that accompany the act breaks going into commercials. Both are subtle elements that add to a feeling of creepy unease.
Huh?: I can understand Michael and Jin being a little gullible, but how does a streetwise con man like Sawyer get so easily get duped by Anna Lucia? She persuades him to hand over his gun, at which point she turns it on him. She seems suspicious the moment she shows up. Prime example: she says she’s been out in the woods all alone since the crash 40 days ago, but she sure doesn’t look like someone who’s been living off the earth for over a month.
Best Line: “We’re going to have to watch that again.” – Locke, after seeing the orientation film with the look on his face of a thirsty man just handed a frosty glass of Vanilla Coke.
Rising: Sayid – His soldier skills are on fine display here as he gets to work trying to fix Desmond’s broken computer without wasting time to ask for details about why it needs to be fixed. He just attacks the problem. This is a guy you want on your side.
Cooler: This is a good time to give gold stars to the show’s distinctive sound cues: the gradual “whooshing” that signals the beginning and end of flashbacks and the resonant “booms” that accompany the act breaks going into commercials. Both are subtle elements that add to a feeling of creepy unease.
Huh?: I can understand Michael and Jin being a little gullible, but how does a streetwise con man like Sawyer get so easily get duped by Anna Lucia? She persuades him to hand over his gun, at which point she turns it on him. She seems suspicious the moment she shows up. Prime example: she says she’s been out in the woods all alone since the crash 40 days ago, but she sure doesn’t look like someone who’s been living off the earth for over a month.
Best Line: “We’re going to have to watch that again.” – Locke, after seeing the orientation film with the look on his face of a thirsty man just handed a frosty glass of Vanilla Coke.
Rising: Sayid – His soldier skills are on fine display here as he gets to work trying to fix Desmond’s broken computer without wasting time to ask for details about why it needs to be fixed. He just attacks the problem. This is a guy you want on your side.
10.25.2005
Lost “Man of Science Man of Faith”
Cool: That opening teaser sure packs a real wallop, doesn’t it? What initially seems to be some kind of weird 1970s flashback of one of the main characters is actually taking place in the hatch. Someone’s living down there. On purpose. As Hurley would say: “Dude, that’s messed up.”
Huh?: The first season ended with a particularly sweaty episode involving this horrible fear that the Others are coming. That threat - complete with ominous columns of black smoke - rightfully sent everyone into a panic and led Jack and Locke to decide to try and blow open the Hatch to hide everyone inside. But as the second season opens, everyone’s just sort of hanging around and ambling here and there. What happened to all of that urgency? For people that are supposedly terrified of impending death, Jack and Kate and Locke sure do seem chatty here.
Best Line: “You.” – Jack upon seeing Desmond and remembering him from a chance encounter years earlier in the U.S. Which of course shatters Jack’s arrogant confidence that Locke’s repeated mantra that “everything happens for a reason” is all a load of crap. Of all the people in the world to find in the Hatch, it's someone Jack knows? Trippy. As this episode’s title suggests, the show seems to be slowly ratcheting up the tension between Jack’s rational “head” and Locke’s instinctual “heart."
Huh?: The first season ended with a particularly sweaty episode involving this horrible fear that the Others are coming. That threat - complete with ominous columns of black smoke - rightfully sent everyone into a panic and led Jack and Locke to decide to try and blow open the Hatch to hide everyone inside. But as the second season opens, everyone’s just sort of hanging around and ambling here and there. What happened to all of that urgency? For people that are supposedly terrified of impending death, Jack and Kate and Locke sure do seem chatty here.
Best Line: “You.” – Jack upon seeing Desmond and remembering him from a chance encounter years earlier in the U.S. Which of course shatters Jack’s arrogant confidence that Locke’s repeated mantra that “everything happens for a reason” is all a load of crap. Of all the people in the world to find in the Hatch, it's someone Jack knows? Trippy. As this episode’s title suggests, the show seems to be slowly ratcheting up the tension between Jack’s rational “head” and Locke’s instinctual “heart."
Summer 2005 Box Office Prognostication Results Show
Back on May 23, the Cheese Fry took a look at some of this summer’s high-profile movies and predicted the box office gross for each. How did we do? Take a look:
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the SithCheese Fry prediction from May 23: $360 million
Actual U.S. box office gross as of October 10: $380.2 million
Differential: +$20.2 million
War of the WorldsPrediction: $212 million
Gross: $233.5 million
Differential: +21.5 million
Cinderella ManPrediction: $115 million
Gross: $61.6 million
Differential: -$53.4 million
Just about everyone thinks it would have done better as a fall release.
The Wedding Crashers
Prediction: $103 million
Gross: $207 million
Differential: +$104 million
Big is one thing, but this was huge.
Batman Begins
Prediction: $73 million
Gross: $205.1 million
Differential: +$132.1 million
Never underestimate the power of a truly good popcorn movie.
Dark Water
Prediction: $28 million
Gross: $25.4 million
Differential: -$2.6 million
This – along with The Fog’s recent flop open – suggests the horror cycle is dead. For now anyway.
Stealth
Prediction: $32 million
Gross: $31.7 million
Differential: -$0.3 million
Never underestimate the awareness of audiences who can usually tell when a movie sucks.
Mr. and Mrs. SmithPrediction: $59 million
Gross: $185.9 million
Differential: +$126.9 million
How much of this was driven by the tabloid stories of Brangelina?
Fantastic Four
Prediction: $32 million
Gross: $154.2 million
Differential: +$122.2 million
As a corollary to the “never underestimate the awareness of audiences who can usually tell when a movie sucks,” keep in mind that huge advertising dollars can sometimes create just enough buzz to overcome a mediocre movie.
The Pink Panther
Prediction: $29 million
Gross: N/A – release date moved, which isn’t a good sign
Differential: $0
The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants
Prediction: $88 million
Gross: $39 million
Differential: -$49 million
Herbie Fully Loaded
Prediction: $75 million
Gross: $66 million
Differential: -$9 million
Charlie and the Chocolate FactoryPrediction: $52 million
Gross: $204.9 million
Differential: +$152.9 million
DominoPrediction: $60 million
Gross: N/A – release date moved, but it opened with a huge flop
Differential: $0
The Dukes of Hazzard
Prediction: $63 million
Gross: $80.1
Differential: +$17.1 million
* Most accurate prediction: the flop Stealth
* Least accurate prediction: the hit Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
* Total differential: +$285.8 million (or an average of +$23.8 million per movie)
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the SithCheese Fry prediction from May 23: $360 million
Actual U.S. box office gross as of October 10: $380.2 million
Differential: +$20.2 million
War of the WorldsPrediction: $212 million
Gross: $233.5 million
Differential: +21.5 million
Cinderella ManPrediction: $115 million
Gross: $61.6 million
Differential: -$53.4 million
Just about everyone thinks it would have done better as a fall release.
The Wedding Crashers
Prediction: $103 million
Gross: $207 million
Differential: +$104 million
Big is one thing, but this was huge.
Batman Begins
Prediction: $73 million
Gross: $205.1 million
Differential: +$132.1 million
Never underestimate the power of a truly good popcorn movie.
Dark Water
Prediction: $28 million
Gross: $25.4 million
Differential: -$2.6 million
This – along with The Fog’s recent flop open – suggests the horror cycle is dead. For now anyway.
Stealth
Prediction: $32 million
Gross: $31.7 million
Differential: -$0.3 million
Never underestimate the awareness of audiences who can usually tell when a movie sucks.
Mr. and Mrs. SmithPrediction: $59 million
Gross: $185.9 million
Differential: +$126.9 million
How much of this was driven by the tabloid stories of Brangelina?
Fantastic Four
Prediction: $32 million
Gross: $154.2 million
Differential: +$122.2 million
As a corollary to the “never underestimate the awareness of audiences who can usually tell when a movie sucks,” keep in mind that huge advertising dollars can sometimes create just enough buzz to overcome a mediocre movie.
The Pink Panther
Prediction: $29 million
Gross: N/A – release date moved, which isn’t a good sign
Differential: $0
The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants
Prediction: $88 million
Gross: $39 million
Differential: -$49 million
Herbie Fully Loaded
Prediction: $75 million
Gross: $66 million
Differential: -$9 million
Charlie and the Chocolate FactoryPrediction: $52 million
Gross: $204.9 million
Differential: +$152.9 million
DominoPrediction: $60 million
Gross: N/A – release date moved, but it opened with a huge flop
Differential: $0
The Dukes of Hazzard
Prediction: $63 million
Gross: $80.1
Differential: +$17.1 million
* Most accurate prediction: the flop Stealth
* Least accurate prediction: the hit Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
* Total differential: +$285.8 million (or an average of +$23.8 million per movie)
10.19.2005
Battlestar Galactica: “Pegasus”
Cool: Check out the ashen look on Roslyn’s face when Adama says to his superior officer, newly-arrived-from-oblivion Admiral Cain “Yes, sir.” Everything just changed, didn’t it, Laura? And probably not for the better. Honorable mention must go to the sneer Adama lets slip when Cain dares to berate Galactica’s crew. We know how much Adama loves his crew.
Cooler: The way Cain’s iron-fisted return makes everything go haywire. It’s one thing to bust Apollo down to Raptor pilot because truth be told, it’s hard to say just how good a CAG he really is when it so often seems that Starbuck is the true badass strategist. But that development is left in the dust by the story turn that sends Helo and Tyrol into a kangaroo court-martial on the Pegasus that summarily slates them for execution. Dude!
Coolest: The way this episode ends (and with it, season two) is utter sci-fi geek nirvana, on a par with the sublimely pants-peeing ending of Star Trek: The Next Generation’s classic cliffhanger “Best of Both Worlds” episode that faded to black right after Picard appeared on-screen as “Locutus of Borg.” Here we have two squadrons of Vipers flying right at each other, seemingly ready to fight to the death in support of their respective commanders. Who needs the Cylons when civil war is so much fun?
Bonus Points: The writers are very sly in this episode, working overtime to create some real sympathy for the mistreated POW Cylons – Caprica-Boomer on Galatica and Six’s double Gina on Pegasus – thus further confusing the rules of engagement and blurring the line between enemy and victim.
Best Line: “I’m getting my men.” – Adama’s angry growl to Cain which leads to the final scene (see “Coolest” above).
Rising: Admiral Cain – Actress Michelle Forbes has always excelled at icy confidence and she’s found a meaty part in Admiral Cain, the kind of merciless leader who shoots people in the head for insubordination.
Cooler: The way Cain’s iron-fisted return makes everything go haywire. It’s one thing to bust Apollo down to Raptor pilot because truth be told, it’s hard to say just how good a CAG he really is when it so often seems that Starbuck is the true badass strategist. But that development is left in the dust by the story turn that sends Helo and Tyrol into a kangaroo court-martial on the Pegasus that summarily slates them for execution. Dude!
Coolest: The way this episode ends (and with it, season two) is utter sci-fi geek nirvana, on a par with the sublimely pants-peeing ending of Star Trek: The Next Generation’s classic cliffhanger “Best of Both Worlds” episode that faded to black right after Picard appeared on-screen as “Locutus of Borg.” Here we have two squadrons of Vipers flying right at each other, seemingly ready to fight to the death in support of their respective commanders. Who needs the Cylons when civil war is so much fun?
Bonus Points: The writers are very sly in this episode, working overtime to create some real sympathy for the mistreated POW Cylons – Caprica-Boomer on Galatica and Six’s double Gina on Pegasus – thus further confusing the rules of engagement and blurring the line between enemy and victim.
Best Line: “I’m getting my men.” – Adama’s angry growl to Cain which leads to the final scene (see “Coolest” above).
Rising: Admiral Cain – Actress Michelle Forbes has always excelled at icy confidence and she’s found a meaty part in Admiral Cain, the kind of merciless leader who shoots people in the head for insubordination.
A lot of "TV," but not much "M"
The L.A. Weekly's Nikki Finke speaks for all disaffected Generation Xers with her recent rant about how ridiculous MTV has become:
Let's talk about the end of civilization as we know it, in this case signified by the rise of Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County and My Super Sweet 16, the logic-defying successors to the creepy I Want a Famous Face and that scummy Cribs. We feel your pain. We, too, remember when MTV used to be all about the issues — subversive and usually liberal. Now the network is all gab about the glam lifestyles, love triangles, mean girls and staged cat fights on these impossible-to-ignore unreality shows starring spoiled simpletons. We don’t mean to make like the Rev. James Dobson, but we’re certain that the MTV execs who green-lighted these docudramas about socioeconomic excess are headed straight for hell.
Nor are we alone in our thinking. Increasingly, college newspapers everywhere feature angry articles by normal students complaining that the once-worshipped music channel has abandoned its values and is embracing acquisitiveness for the sake of crass commercialism. Consider, for instance, this recent column in the Penn State Daily Collegian: “The saying used to be ‘I want my MTV.’ But for the last few years, all I can say is that I hate my MTV. I wish my friend Holden Caulfield was here. He would tell you how phony, superficial and just plain crappy that network has become. No music and no real substance . . . Does anyone believe money buys happiness? You would if you watched shows like Sweet 16 or Laguna Beach. Gag me with a spoon... MTV has hijacked who we are right now...”
How that writer would have howled had he heard Mr. MTV Network himself (since 1987), Tom Freston, Viacom’s co-president and CEO, boast at a Goldman Sachs global confab on September 21 that his company has created a “hit machine,” which he described as a “consumer-obsessed, terrific, program-development model.” The result is that “We take 25 cents of every dollar that is spent on cable.” Freston may actually believe what he says: that “the philosophy at MTV is constant experimentation, constant pushing the needle.” But to what end? He semi-apologized to the analysts for putting on shows like Cameron Diaz’s Trippin’, which he termed a “pro-environment show essentially.” Said Freston: “We knew it wasn’t going to be a big ratings success. But when we thought in terms of the pro-social part of things we do, and the image part of things we do, it made a lot of sense.” What he didn’t say was the truth: We only ran that show because this really hot celeb who dates Justin Timberlake hosted it. We all know the subtext: Ignore those do-gooder shows MTV throws up as a sop to our audience, and pay attention to our profits.
But MTV’s do-gooder shows are few and far between these days. Once upon a time, MTV meant something. Sure, there was commerce, and lots of it. But there also were milestones, ranging from Live Aid, to Rock the Vote, to the Motor Voter Drive, to anti–status quo news and politics aimed at younger demographics. Meanwhile, one news report this week says CBS boss Les Moonves is considering MTV entertainment chief Brian Graden to sex up CBS News. It's Graden who bears responsibility for all the crap on MTV now, having developed sickening fare like Laguna Beach, The Osbournes, Pimp My Ride, Jackass and Newlyweds.
“I’ll tell you exactly the day the music died on MTV,” former VJ Adam Curry (from 1987 to 1994) told me last week when I called him in London. “It was when the game show Remote Control came on air. It was a tremendous success. People were, metaphorically speaking, running through the hallways because all of a sudden there were major fucking ratings. That was the knife. And after that, they ran Beavis and Butt-head, and so on. It was an understandable decision from a business standpoint.”
Which is why it’s too bad the buzz around Laguna Beach’s second season, which wraps up this month, has made it the ninth highest-rated cable series, with nearly 4 million viewers a week. What a shame that L.B.’s first season on DVD is doing brisk business. How sad that Journey’s golden-oldie song “Don’t Stop Believin’” became one of iTunes’ most downloaded songs after it aired on this season’s premiere. Kind of pathetic that the MTV Overdrive Web site plugs style news from the beach babes, who advise: “Wear oversized sunglasses, the bigger the better.” (No wonder the girls all look like they’re in the Witness Protection Program.) Clearly, this kind of contrived pablum is more palatable when it’s shot with high-tech digital cameras, made to seem like a movie, features surf wear and skimpy sundresses, and stars peroxide bimbos and six-pack-abs himbos. How we hang on every word of the riveting dialogue, like the wasted way that heartbreaker Jason Wahler (yes, these dimwits have last names) keeps responding to every probing question from his series of lovesick girlfriends with a simple “Dunno.”
Determined to kill off still more of our brain cells, MTV just announced a third season of Laguna Beach. In fact, the producers are in the midst of interviewing prospective cast members. Good luck: There’s something like a 20-page application to fill out. (Note to parents: Lock up your teens lest the cameras catch — as they did with Jessica this season — your daughter saying she’s a slut.) For next season, the producers are lobbying for access to the local high school. Not to worry, though: No one’s tampering with the concept. The old gang will come home occasionally to mingle with the new gang. All will swap spit — that is, when they’re not swapping phone numbers for Hollywood agents and publicists.
Yes, it’s sad but true: The entertainment business has spawned yet another brood of infamous no-talents mistaken for iconic figures. Already they’re staring out from magazines (Kristin Cavalleri on the covers of Seventeen and Rolling Stone, Stephen Coletti in a fashion spread in Teen Vogue), signing recording contracts (Talan Torriero and Alex Murrel) and hanging with Lindsay Lohan (at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel). For now, they are 15 minutes of fame away from hitting bottom and begging to take part in the next Reality TV All-Star Reunion Show for dumbed-down Bravo. What this means is that the L.B. airheads have driven north on the 405 freeway and settled in the Los Angeles area to seek stardom. But who wouldn’t dream big after months on end of being followed around by the two to three cameras assigned each cast member?
Kristin’s flack Jack Ketsoyan says she’s taking acting lessons, auditioning for roles and living in Marina del Rey. Talan is sporting a new rocker image, and his forthcoming album should be out next summer. He also has signed with United Talent for acting gigs. And Lauren Conrad (L.C.) is working as an intern for Teen Vogue, while camera crews follow her around Condé Nast’s West Coast bureau. That footage may mean a possible L.B. spinoff or just inclusion in the third season.
As for My Super Sweet 16, MTV has gone out of its way to showcase the most shocking examples of obnoxious teens and their over-doting parents. The result is a world where a coming-of-age party is imitative of Hollywood Babylon, with red carpet and VIP rooms (which exist solely to distance the popular from the not-so-popular in the nastiest way possible). We’re confronted by foul-mouthed scions demanding that their personal fantasies be indulged down to the last detail, no matter if that means horse-drawn carriages, couture clothing or Mercedes/BMW roadsters. Meanwhile, we’re bewildered by this I-wanna-be-a-princess, I-deserve-the-best attitude they all seem to have for simply existing. Who’s to blame: Princess Di? Paris Hilton? Disney movies?
The first Real World featured seemingly spontaneous angst over racism, sexism and homophobia. Now, MTV’s best-watched series has devolved into nothing more substantive than sordid bed-hopping. And Dubya might have been dumb enough to invite Ozzy to dinner at the White House, but we now know the Father Knows Best image MTV gave us of The Osbournes was complete bullshit. Behind the scenes of those palatial digs and those decadent dinners and that compulsive shopping was an entire brood eventually headed to rehab for addictions and eating disorders.
My own disappointment with MTV occurred in 2003 during the run-up to the Iraqi war. That’s when Stephen Friedman, the vice president for public affairs, told me the network was compiling footage both pro and con the invasion for a big hourlong broadcast. It was going to feature young Marines going off to Kuwait, and anti-war activists like Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal. The old MTV would have gone ahead and made the documentary with a deliberately liberal point of view, conservatives be damned. But again and again, Friedman told me that MTV’s role was to “show all sides” — yet he mischaracterized the anti-war movement as “a small and vocal minority.”
In fact, MTV’s flabbiness on the issues was directly related to the increasing scrutiny that the Federal Communications Commission was giving media companies. No company was a bigger advocate of mergers and acquisitions than Freston’s Viacom at the time, and the FCC had regulatory control over that. But even that paled in comparison to the FCC’s 24/7 decency watch following Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction on that Super Bowl show organized on CBS by — you guessed it — Freston’s MTV. After that mishap, Viacom begged for mercy from the howling right-wing hordes.
At MTV, executives like to say, “We worship at the altar of our audience.” But O.G. VJ Curry, who set up MTV.com in the pre-commercial days of the Internet and is now nicknamed the father of podcasting, wants to know “Just who is MTV’s customer these days: the viewer or the advertiser? Some of the great things you’re talking about that MTV did were actually fought for and put on the air by passionate individuals, who themselves were really talented kids who made it happen, then moved on. And there was compassion for it from an executive level.” Curry sighs, “But those kinds of people aren’t there anymore.”
Instead we have Kristin, and Talan, and Jason, and Alex M. frolicking in Laguna Beach. It’s an appropriate time to remember it was Dante who said, “The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in times of great moral crisis maintain their neutrality.”
Let's talk about the end of civilization as we know it, in this case signified by the rise of Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County and My Super Sweet 16, the logic-defying successors to the creepy I Want a Famous Face and that scummy Cribs. We feel your pain. We, too, remember when MTV used to be all about the issues — subversive and usually liberal. Now the network is all gab about the glam lifestyles, love triangles, mean girls and staged cat fights on these impossible-to-ignore unreality shows starring spoiled simpletons. We don’t mean to make like the Rev. James Dobson, but we’re certain that the MTV execs who green-lighted these docudramas about socioeconomic excess are headed straight for hell.
Nor are we alone in our thinking. Increasingly, college newspapers everywhere feature angry articles by normal students complaining that the once-worshipped music channel has abandoned its values and is embracing acquisitiveness for the sake of crass commercialism. Consider, for instance, this recent column in the Penn State Daily Collegian: “The saying used to be ‘I want my MTV.’ But for the last few years, all I can say is that I hate my MTV. I wish my friend Holden Caulfield was here. He would tell you how phony, superficial and just plain crappy that network has become. No music and no real substance . . . Does anyone believe money buys happiness? You would if you watched shows like Sweet 16 or Laguna Beach. Gag me with a spoon... MTV has hijacked who we are right now...”
How that writer would have howled had he heard Mr. MTV Network himself (since 1987), Tom Freston, Viacom’s co-president and CEO, boast at a Goldman Sachs global confab on September 21 that his company has created a “hit machine,” which he described as a “consumer-obsessed, terrific, program-development model.” The result is that “We take 25 cents of every dollar that is spent on cable.” Freston may actually believe what he says: that “the philosophy at MTV is constant experimentation, constant pushing the needle.” But to what end? He semi-apologized to the analysts for putting on shows like Cameron Diaz’s Trippin’, which he termed a “pro-environment show essentially.” Said Freston: “We knew it wasn’t going to be a big ratings success. But when we thought in terms of the pro-social part of things we do, and the image part of things we do, it made a lot of sense.” What he didn’t say was the truth: We only ran that show because this really hot celeb who dates Justin Timberlake hosted it. We all know the subtext: Ignore those do-gooder shows MTV throws up as a sop to our audience, and pay attention to our profits.
But MTV’s do-gooder shows are few and far between these days. Once upon a time, MTV meant something. Sure, there was commerce, and lots of it. But there also were milestones, ranging from Live Aid, to Rock the Vote, to the Motor Voter Drive, to anti–status quo news and politics aimed at younger demographics. Meanwhile, one news report this week says CBS boss Les Moonves is considering MTV entertainment chief Brian Graden to sex up CBS News. It's Graden who bears responsibility for all the crap on MTV now, having developed sickening fare like Laguna Beach, The Osbournes, Pimp My Ride, Jackass and Newlyweds.
“I’ll tell you exactly the day the music died on MTV,” former VJ Adam Curry (from 1987 to 1994) told me last week when I called him in London. “It was when the game show Remote Control came on air. It was a tremendous success. People were, metaphorically speaking, running through the hallways because all of a sudden there were major fucking ratings. That was the knife. And after that, they ran Beavis and Butt-head, and so on. It was an understandable decision from a business standpoint.”
Which is why it’s too bad the buzz around Laguna Beach’s second season, which wraps up this month, has made it the ninth highest-rated cable series, with nearly 4 million viewers a week. What a shame that L.B.’s first season on DVD is doing brisk business. How sad that Journey’s golden-oldie song “Don’t Stop Believin’” became one of iTunes’ most downloaded songs after it aired on this season’s premiere. Kind of pathetic that the MTV Overdrive Web site plugs style news from the beach babes, who advise: “Wear oversized sunglasses, the bigger the better.” (No wonder the girls all look like they’re in the Witness Protection Program.) Clearly, this kind of contrived pablum is more palatable when it’s shot with high-tech digital cameras, made to seem like a movie, features surf wear and skimpy sundresses, and stars peroxide bimbos and six-pack-abs himbos. How we hang on every word of the riveting dialogue, like the wasted way that heartbreaker Jason Wahler (yes, these dimwits have last names) keeps responding to every probing question from his series of lovesick girlfriends with a simple “Dunno.”
Determined to kill off still more of our brain cells, MTV just announced a third season of Laguna Beach. In fact, the producers are in the midst of interviewing prospective cast members. Good luck: There’s something like a 20-page application to fill out. (Note to parents: Lock up your teens lest the cameras catch — as they did with Jessica this season — your daughter saying she’s a slut.) For next season, the producers are lobbying for access to the local high school. Not to worry, though: No one’s tampering with the concept. The old gang will come home occasionally to mingle with the new gang. All will swap spit — that is, when they’re not swapping phone numbers for Hollywood agents and publicists.
Yes, it’s sad but true: The entertainment business has spawned yet another brood of infamous no-talents mistaken for iconic figures. Already they’re staring out from magazines (Kristin Cavalleri on the covers of Seventeen and Rolling Stone, Stephen Coletti in a fashion spread in Teen Vogue), signing recording contracts (Talan Torriero and Alex Murrel) and hanging with Lindsay Lohan (at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel). For now, they are 15 minutes of fame away from hitting bottom and begging to take part in the next Reality TV All-Star Reunion Show for dumbed-down Bravo. What this means is that the L.B. airheads have driven north on the 405 freeway and settled in the Los Angeles area to seek stardom. But who wouldn’t dream big after months on end of being followed around by the two to three cameras assigned each cast member?
Kristin’s flack Jack Ketsoyan says she’s taking acting lessons, auditioning for roles and living in Marina del Rey. Talan is sporting a new rocker image, and his forthcoming album should be out next summer. He also has signed with United Talent for acting gigs. And Lauren Conrad (L.C.) is working as an intern for Teen Vogue, while camera crews follow her around Condé Nast’s West Coast bureau. That footage may mean a possible L.B. spinoff or just inclusion in the third season.
As for My Super Sweet 16, MTV has gone out of its way to showcase the most shocking examples of obnoxious teens and their over-doting parents. The result is a world where a coming-of-age party is imitative of Hollywood Babylon, with red carpet and VIP rooms (which exist solely to distance the popular from the not-so-popular in the nastiest way possible). We’re confronted by foul-mouthed scions demanding that their personal fantasies be indulged down to the last detail, no matter if that means horse-drawn carriages, couture clothing or Mercedes/BMW roadsters. Meanwhile, we’re bewildered by this I-wanna-be-a-princess, I-deserve-the-best attitude they all seem to have for simply existing. Who’s to blame: Princess Di? Paris Hilton? Disney movies?
The first Real World featured seemingly spontaneous angst over racism, sexism and homophobia. Now, MTV’s best-watched series has devolved into nothing more substantive than sordid bed-hopping. And Dubya might have been dumb enough to invite Ozzy to dinner at the White House, but we now know the Father Knows Best image MTV gave us of The Osbournes was complete bullshit. Behind the scenes of those palatial digs and those decadent dinners and that compulsive shopping was an entire brood eventually headed to rehab for addictions and eating disorders.
My own disappointment with MTV occurred in 2003 during the run-up to the Iraqi war. That’s when Stephen Friedman, the vice president for public affairs, told me the network was compiling footage both pro and con the invasion for a big hourlong broadcast. It was going to feature young Marines going off to Kuwait, and anti-war activists like Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal. The old MTV would have gone ahead and made the documentary with a deliberately liberal point of view, conservatives be damned. But again and again, Friedman told me that MTV’s role was to “show all sides” — yet he mischaracterized the anti-war movement as “a small and vocal minority.”
In fact, MTV’s flabbiness on the issues was directly related to the increasing scrutiny that the Federal Communications Commission was giving media companies. No company was a bigger advocate of mergers and acquisitions than Freston’s Viacom at the time, and the FCC had regulatory control over that. But even that paled in comparison to the FCC’s 24/7 decency watch following Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction on that Super Bowl show organized on CBS by — you guessed it — Freston’s MTV. After that mishap, Viacom begged for mercy from the howling right-wing hordes.
At MTV, executives like to say, “We worship at the altar of our audience.” But O.G. VJ Curry, who set up MTV.com in the pre-commercial days of the Internet and is now nicknamed the father of podcasting, wants to know “Just who is MTV’s customer these days: the viewer or the advertiser? Some of the great things you’re talking about that MTV did were actually fought for and put on the air by passionate individuals, who themselves were really talented kids who made it happen, then moved on. And there was compassion for it from an executive level.” Curry sighs, “But those kinds of people aren’t there anymore.”
Instead we have Kristin, and Talan, and Jason, and Alex M. frolicking in Laguna Beach. It’s an appropriate time to remember it was Dante who said, “The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in times of great moral crisis maintain their neutrality.”
10.11.2005
“I’ll read the votes.”
Top Nine Jeff Probst Lines from Survivor
9 “Once the votes have been read the decision is final and the person voted out of the tribe will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.” The run-on sentence legalese of Survivor. The use of the word “immediately” makes one wonder what might happen if someone refused to go. It’s bound to happen eventually, right?
8 “I’ll go tally the votes.” Uttered just as Probst steps off camera to confer with the show producers on how to arrange the paper votes in the most dramatic order possible so as to best milk the vote reveal sequence. Instead of seeing that, however, the audience gets instead a series of dramatic cross-dissolves of the Survivors at Tribal Council, most of them staring worriedly into the fire.
7 “Once again, immunity... back up for grabs.” If it’s the tribal immunity idol, Probst might punctuate this line with an emphatic pat of the idol top. But for the individual immunity necklace, he’ll just kind of hang it back up on its bamboo pole.
6 “Previously on... Survivor.” It’s that oh-so-brief, melodramatic pregnant pause between the “on” and the “Survivor” that helps explain why Probst makes the big bucks.
5 (tie) “Come on in, guys.” and “Head on back to camp.” The show invariably uses variations on these Probst-isms to signal the beginnings (Survivors gather together, squinting in the sun) and ends of challenges (one tribe celebrates in slow motion, the other drops their heads in slow motion shame and disgust), respectively.
3 “Survivors ready... go!” Classic Probst, but only if accompanied by that self-serious arm thing.
2 “Want to know what you’re playing for?” This one invariably leads to that week’s clumsy product placement, whether it’s a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos and a sixer of Mountain Dew or an ugly new Pontiac Aztek.
1 "The tribe has spoken.” Followed by the climactic snuffing of a torch by a coconut shell thing that looks like something the Professor would have invented on Gilligan’s Island.
9 “Once the votes have been read the decision is final and the person voted out of the tribe will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.” The run-on sentence legalese of Survivor. The use of the word “immediately” makes one wonder what might happen if someone refused to go. It’s bound to happen eventually, right?
8 “I’ll go tally the votes.” Uttered just as Probst steps off camera to confer with the show producers on how to arrange the paper votes in the most dramatic order possible so as to best milk the vote reveal sequence. Instead of seeing that, however, the audience gets instead a series of dramatic cross-dissolves of the Survivors at Tribal Council, most of them staring worriedly into the fire.
7 “Once again, immunity... back up for grabs.” If it’s the tribal immunity idol, Probst might punctuate this line with an emphatic pat of the idol top. But for the individual immunity necklace, he’ll just kind of hang it back up on its bamboo pole.
6 “Previously on... Survivor.” It’s that oh-so-brief, melodramatic pregnant pause between the “on” and the “Survivor” that helps explain why Probst makes the big bucks.
5 (tie) “Come on in, guys.” and “Head on back to camp.” The show invariably uses variations on these Probst-isms to signal the beginnings (Survivors gather together, squinting in the sun) and ends of challenges (one tribe celebrates in slow motion, the other drops their heads in slow motion shame and disgust), respectively.
3 “Survivors ready... go!” Classic Probst, but only if accompanied by that self-serious arm thing.
2 “Want to know what you’re playing for?” This one invariably leads to that week’s clumsy product placement, whether it’s a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos and a sixer of Mountain Dew or an ugly new Pontiac Aztek.
1 "The tribe has spoken.” Followed by the climactic snuffing of a torch by a coconut shell thing that looks like something the Professor would have invented on Gilligan’s Island.
Battlestar Galactica “Flight of the Phoenix”
Cool: Bonus points to the writing staff for even thinking up a term like “Cylon logic bomb.” What is it exactly? It’s never made completely clear. But it sure sounds scary, don’t you think? Not sure Norton Anti-Virus would catch that one.
Cooler: What makes this show so compelling is the smart way it handles the characters. These are some completely ludicrous situations, but the characters’ reactions always feel logical and believable. The best example in this episode may be the cold shoulder and muttered insults Helo gets from the other Viper pilots. Helo’s fallen in love with a Cylon and now he has to deal with some predictably cruel anti-Cylon racism – assuming Cylons are indeed a “race,” a classic sci-fi sociological question (What is “human”?) that deserves a whole other discussion.
Huh?: The bit where Caprica-Sharon communicates with the Galactica virus by shoving a fiber optic cable into her arm is something out of a bad student film. Are they serious with that? Why didn’t she just stick her finger in the nearest electrical outlet?
Best Line: “I don't care who or what he fracks.” – Starbuck’s hard-boiled defense of Helo to the other Viper pilots, who aren’t too keen on his relationship with a Cylon (or, as some Colonials call them, “toasters”).
Rising: Caprica-Sharon – The enemy who unexpectedly goes reverse-Benedict Arnold and turns good is always an interesting character, but all this business with the logic bomb (and her thwarting of the Adama/Apollo assassination on Kobol, for that matter) makes one increasingly wonder how much of this is just a ruse to get the Colonials to trust her. Someone really ought to keep an eye on her.
Cooler: What makes this show so compelling is the smart way it handles the characters. These are some completely ludicrous situations, but the characters’ reactions always feel logical and believable. The best example in this episode may be the cold shoulder and muttered insults Helo gets from the other Viper pilots. Helo’s fallen in love with a Cylon and now he has to deal with some predictably cruel anti-Cylon racism – assuming Cylons are indeed a “race,” a classic sci-fi sociological question (What is “human”?) that deserves a whole other discussion.
Huh?: The bit where Caprica-Sharon communicates with the Galactica virus by shoving a fiber optic cable into her arm is something out of a bad student film. Are they serious with that? Why didn’t she just stick her finger in the nearest electrical outlet?
Best Line: “I don't care who or what he fracks.” – Starbuck’s hard-boiled defense of Helo to the other Viper pilots, who aren’t too keen on his relationship with a Cylon (or, as some Colonials call them, “toasters”).
Rising: Caprica-Sharon – The enemy who unexpectedly goes reverse-Benedict Arnold and turns good is always an interesting character, but all this business with the logic bomb (and her thwarting of the Adama/Apollo assassination on Kobol, for that matter) makes one increasingly wonder how much of this is just a ruse to get the Colonials to trust her. Someone really ought to keep an eye on her.
10.10.2005
Make mine a Sprite.
Pop vs. Soda offers a very cool map that examines in detail the geographical idiosyncracies that predispose people from Chicago to call "pop" what someone from San Francisco and New York city would call "soda" and what someone from Dallas might call "Coke."
Okay, this all makes sense, but what to make of that weird pocket of "soda" yellow between Missouri and Illinois in the middle of blue "pop" and red "Coke"?
Okay, this all makes sense, but what to make of that weird pocket of "soda" yellow between Missouri and Illinois in the middle of blue "pop" and red "Coke"?
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