* Torn ticket stubs get saved. Each day’s stubs goes into a plastic bag. And there are a lot of little bags in one of the storerooms. Not sure why.
* It’s true – if you can befriend someone who works at a theater, they will be able to get you in for free. Easily.
* The oil used to make the popcorn is horrible for you. (A classic employee exchange: “That oil’s the second worst thing you could possibly put into your body.” “What’s the first?” “Poison.”) It comes in steel canisters and is the consistency of cold Crisco. You have to shove a giant heating rod into that goo to melt it down and liquefy it enough to pop corn in it. Mmm.
* You will get mercilessly mocked and ridiculed once you leave the concession stand counter, especially if commit one of these three sins:
1. Insist on getting the popcorn that’s coming out of the popper (even better, you want to wait for the next batch)
2. Complain about the prices, as if the minimum wage worker serving you has any control over that
3. Decide that the time to finally look at the selections and make a choice is now, standing at the register, rather than the previous 15 minutes when you were standing in line
* The “butter” is probably just butter-flavored oil. Yuck.
* The best time to theater-hop (buy one ticket, stay all day) is probably during the day when it’s slow. No one cares.
* Theater carpets have intricate patterns to hide popcorn crumbs.
* The big multiplexes have only one projectionist to handle multiple screens and projectors. And projectionists are often pretty weird people. One in particular often slept at the theater – one corner of the booth was set up with a cot and blanket. He was particularly weird.
* A lot of the people working in theaters aren’t to be trusted. They’re working long hours for very little pay. They’re desperate and unscrupulous. One disgusting (and ingeniously complicated) scam involved selling to customers drinks in paper cups pulled from the trash to steal candy. In other words, to get one of these knuckleheads a free box of Raisinettes, you’d be drinking your Mr. Pibb from a cup someone used earlier in the day.
* Cleaning the theaters is the worst job in the whole building. No one wants that job and it’s because people like you are so damn messy. What a bunch of pigs.
* The cheese sauce that goes with your nachos gets saved every night. It’s poured into a big plastic 5-gallon drum and stored in the refrigerator. And when you’re pouring that hot cheese sauce into the drum and the steam floats up into your face and fogs your glasses, it smells like vomit.
* The hot dogs get saved every night, too. They can sometimes become fossilized. If you want a hot dog, just go to a baseball game.
* This is the pecking order for employees. At the top are the managers and assistant managers, who usually wear dressy clothes (i.e. a cheap tie) rather than the polyester uniforms. The most skilled and trustworthy regular employees will work the box office where the highest volume of business happens. Below them, the next skillful and trustworthy people work the concession stand counters (and only the best of that group are assigned to run the cash registers). At the very bottom are the idiots, slackers, and new hires. These are the ushers who clean theaters, tear tickets, and float around doing odd jobs like bring you more ice during a big rush.
* Stories about finding used condoms in the theaters after a show, thankfully, seem to be apocryphal. But ushers do find wads of cash, sometimes a lot.
* For the last time, THX has nothing to do with the movie. It’s a quality-control system for the theater speakers and acoustics. Idiots.
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That's hilarious! Particularly the nacho cheese description!
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