Drivers who deserve the finger

If you have just a half-hour commute to work, then you're in your car fighting traffic about 20 hours a month. That's almost an entire day dealing with other drivers' stupidity, incompetence, and lack of appropriate attention to the world around them.

Below are the worst offenders, those degenerates who deserve the middle finger salute from all of us. You may find yourself on this list. We did.

* Drivers who suddenly merge into your lane without signaling
* Drivers who do signal a lane change and then refuse for some reason to come over even though you're very clearly slowing down to give them a nice big space to merge into
* Drivers whom you allow to merge in front of you and then lack the common courtesy to give you the hand wave of thanks
* Drivers at the front of a line of left turners who become Cathy Cautious and refuse to turn until there isn't another car coming for at least two nautical miles
* Drivers who run extremely stale yellow lights when they really shouldn't, blocking the intersection and thereby preventing you from making a left turn before the light turns red
* Drivers whom you expect to run an extremely stale yellow light, but then at the last minute suddenly don't, thereby preventing you from making a left turn before the light turns red
* Drivers who insist on blocking an entire line of cars in a parking garage because they shortsightedly want to take the spot of the first person they see (who take 15 minutes to put two bags in their trunk - they get the finger too) when you know damn good and well that a few levels up or down is a sea of empty spaces
* Drivers of SUVs who insist on cramming their ridiculous, penis-substitute vehicles into spaces clearly marked "compact"
* Drivers who take up two parking spaces because they so overvalue their stupid little souped-up 1992 Toyota Camry
* Drivers who skip their turn at four-way stops
* Drivers who won't let you merge in one of those situations where doing so is extremely reasonable, like when you're just trying to get out of a garage after a concert or baseball game
* Drivers behind you who honk a fraction of a second after your light turns green
* Drivers who, when they do decide to honk, don't give you a short little friendly toot, but a long, obnoxious blast that goes on for so long the sound bends with the Doppler effect as they zoom around you
* Drivers who are clearly lost, but refuse to pull to the curb and get out of the way, preferring instead to creep along at the pace of pedestrians as they swivel their heads looking for an address or stare at the map in their lap
* Drivers who take an inordinate amount of time paying to get out of a parking garage
* Drivers who block traffic because they're having some utterly pointless conversation with another driver, who's likewise blocking traffic, the both of them apparently unaware of a new device called the telephone
* Drivers who block you because they're not following a clearly posted traffic sign, like "no left turn" which surely doesn't include them, right?

And no list like this would be complete without special finger given to those jackass motorcycle riders who roar down La Brea Avenue with their throttles wide open and revved as loud as possible for that short little 300 yard stretch until they hit another traffic light. Sure did go fast for a second there, huh, Captain America?

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous11:42 AM

    Particularly bad drive to work today? hmmm....