Knee-jerk review: "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"

1. If it were a term paper, it'd get a solid B. Good, but we think it could have done better if only it had applied itself.
2. A lead-lined refrigerator? Seriously?
3. Harrison Ford is in his mid-60s and it shows. It may take you 15 minutes or so to settle into the fact that Indiana Jones should be a member of AARP.
4. Cate Blanchett can do no wrong. Amazing.
5. The movie doesn't really take off until Shia LaBeouf shows up. His interactions with Ford are a lot of fun.
6. The quicksand scene has the film's best moment.
7. Karen Allen looks terrible. Sorry, but we call them like we see them. And the filmmakers completely fumble the reunion of Indiana and Marion, inexplicably making it a forced and rushed moment.
8. The big jungle truck chase is fun, but also somewhat tedious. The fencing is cool, though.
9. The movie's much more of a mystery/quest, following clues and piecing everything together, rather than a rip-roaring action adventure.
10. The Cheese Fry found the ending somewhat ridiculous.
11. Nice Marcus Brody reference at Indiana's college campus, but the photos Indiana has on his desk of his father and Brody look like Paramount publicity stills, not the sort of real photos a real person would, like, really have on a real desk. Why is that?
12. The charm of the first three movies, especially the first, was that so much of the action had to rely on practical effects. Which made sense because they were supposedly an homage to the cheesy 1930s two-reel adventure serials. There's a bit of a CGI overload here, especially in the last 10 minutes that undermine the film's simplicity.
13. The rumors you've heard about the crystal skull are, sadly, very true. It's all very odd. But you just have to remind yourself that this is all a throwback to the B-movie serials of George Lucas' youth, in which (especially in the 1950s) there were some with some rather overt sci-fi elements.
14. Love hearing that Indiana was an OSS spy working in Europe during World War II. If only we could have seen a movie about those exploits.

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