What it's like to live in Los Angeles

1. That person standing next to you in line at the Coffee Bean who kinda looks like Demi Moore? It is Demi Moore.
2. Wherever you are during the day, there's a little neuron in the back corner of your brain spending all its time wondering what would happen if a huge earthquake hit right... about... now, calculating survival odds, estimating the structural integrity of the whatever it is you're in or under, planning an exit route.
3. Why plant grass and trees when you can just pave it over?
4. Imagine being both an hour from the beach and an hour from the mountains. And not ever going to either one. Ever.
5. Good sushi always.
6. Unless it's January or February, there is no rain.
7. Unless it's January, February, or June, there are no clouds.
8. Don't bother starting your errand-running past 11:00am on a weekend. The traffic will be so bad you'll never get everything done on your list.
9. No matter how much you pretend that you're doing fine and are content with what you have, there's a jackass in the next lane driving a new BMW and wearing a $1800 pair of sunglasses who reminds you where you really stand in the economic scheme of things.
10. You can drive two hours in any direction and still not get out of the city. It's buildings and streets and people, all jammed together, for miles and miles and miles.
11. One good thing: an In N Out burger in every neighborhood.

12. The generic "industry" term means only one thing.
13. Everyone knows a shortcut. And you're always willing to hear new ones.


  1. man, did you just describe our lives perfectly!!

  2. I love number 4! So true. They're finally opening up an In N Out in Texas and in Fort Worth! I'm telling you the signs are slowly pointing for y'all to come back! There are plenty of peeps with Beamers and $1800 sunglasses around here too!