Smoking hot brackets

To try and balance out the bleary-eyed, pimply-faced geekiness of the Sci-Fi Bracket post below, we took the time to fill out Esquire magazine's Sexiest Woman Alive Madness. Real men may not be able to understand the difference between The Empire Strikes Back bounty hunters Bossk and IG-88, but they know a hot girl when they see one.

* Fashion bracket

Our age is showing. As attractive as these supermodels may be, A) we haven't heard of half of them and B) when we try to get an idea of what they look like (thank you, Google image search), we find that they mostly all look alike. This wouldn't have been the case 12 years ago when all top supermodels would have filled the pages of our monthly Maxim magazine.

#1-seed Brooklyn Decker (her, we know) defeats #2-seed Miranda Kerr to advance to the Final Four.

* Music and Sports bracket

We would argue there's many more candidates from the world of music, but Esquire may be trying to balance music with sports. Not as many, ahem, candidates from the world of sports, it seems; the ones they find are mostly women we never heard of.

#14-seed Gwyneth Paltrow (music? really?) defeats #4-seed Erin Andrews (though we still prefer the smart-girl looks of Rachel Nichols or Bonnie Bernstein) to advance to the Final Four.

We stipulate that Gwyneth in the movies can be an icy, cold experience. But the Gwyneth who's suddenly found new juice on Fox's "Glee" and become a minor singing star has real oomph.

* Movies bracket

This one's in our wheelhouse, people. We know almost all of these actresses, but lament the absence of Cheese Fry guilty-pleasure Jennifer Aniston.

#2-seed Olivia Wilde defeats #1-seed Mila Kunis (who almost lost to #4-seed Ashley Greene, FYI; you got lucky, Kunis)

* Television bracket

We must protest the inclusion of #2-seed Kim Kardashian. We, in fact, protest everything about Kim Kardashian. And yes, she did advance a round in our bracket.

#8-seed "those girls from Glee" (and Esquire isn't even including actresses Naya Rivera and Heather Morris) defeats #3-seed Christina Hendricks (last year's big winner)

* Final Four results

Olivia Wilde defeats Brooklyn Decker (see Tron Legacy and you'll know why)

"Those girls from Glee" defeat Gwyneth Paltrow

* The championship game

Olivia Wilde defeats "Those girls from Glee" and spares us the indiginity of having to defend our inexplicable interest in a Fox show about a high school choir.

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