Knee-jerk review: "Prometheus"

1. Not exactly "knee-jerk."  We've been mulling this over for a week now, trying to figure it out.  Trying to understand how we feel about it.
2. We went in with high hopes, but must admit the film was a letdown.  It falls a bit flat overall.
3. There are some great elements.  It just doesn't gel together.
4. When you have to spend several hours scouring the internet message boards to try and understand key sequences, that's probably a bad sign.
5. Ambiguity is okay.  We like ambiguity.  What we don't like is confusion and vagaries and sloppy, lazy execution, which is what we have here.  
6. Some dots just need connecting, Sir Ridley.
7. Charlize Theron is ridiculously attractive.  It's almost criminal.
8. That weird opening sequence by the waterfall.  That's earth, people.  We didn't get it.  But we have an inside source that confirms it to be so.
9. That's a pretty big leap in logic, captain, when you suddenly understand what your crew is dealing with.  How'd you figure that out?  Other than the screenwriter telling you.
10. Cool red laser mapping robot thingys.
11. Yes yes, Michael Fassbender is excellent as the android David.  But Lawrence of Arabia?  Seriously?
12. Some very interesting subtext parallels involving parents and children, whether it's aliens who maybe created mankind or an android and his (its?) scientist creator or just ordinary human parents and children.
13. Very cool sandstorm bit.
14. If you believe what the message boards suggest, there's some really out-there theories about why the alien race suddenly decided to destroy earth.  It involves a certain someone who met a grisly end 2000 years ago.  Yeah, that guy.  Crazy.
15. A lot of grumbling out there about the open, sequel-friendly ending.  But we liked it.  It was satisfying.
16. But the boyfriend scientist (played by Logan Marshall-Green)?  What an annoying drip.
17. You just don't see a lot of flamethrowers these days, do you?
18. The arrival on the alien planet is spooky and ethereal, just what you would expect if you were someone setting foot for the first time on a strange new world.
19. Bonus points for not playing the self-destruct-sequence card.
20. How exactly the black goo works remains unclear.  Your guess is as good as ours... or anybody else's.
21. For the record, Aliens is the best of the bunch for obvious reasons.  One of the most exciting action movies ever made, a master class in script structure and editing.  Alien is a close second, a game changer that innovated a blend of science fiction and horror.  A slow, long burn.  Some people hate Alien Resurrection, but we liked it.  What we didn't like was Alien 3, if only because it so callously killed off two of the survivors of Aliens.  We cannot forgive that.  This one falls right behind Alien, though we know the producers keep trying to tell us "it's not technically a prequel." Whatever.  It's a prequel!  It's an Alien movie!
22. Worth a look, but be prepared for frustration.

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