Live blogging Super Bowl XLV

* Random Super Bowl memory #6: Sitting at the laptop throughout Super Bowl XLV (Packers beat the Steelers) to blog snarky, pithy commentary that no one will read. Next year: Cowboys over Jets, 28-24. See you there.

* This feels right, don't you think? Roethlisberger is a solid two-time Super Bowl winner. He's just not a three-time winner.

* We just hope Brett Favre is watching from his Mississippi compound. The Packers have officially moved on, Mr. Unretirement.

* For the Steelers, one... last... chance... No good!

* Packers now lead by six. The pessimist in us figures this will just set up Roethlisberger to score a touchdown as time expires to win the game by one point and further burnish his image.

* To the geniuses in the stands holding a "You're in Steeler Country" sign. Geographically speaking, you're in Cowboy Country.

* Jennings is wide open. The Cheese Fry could have run that route and got the touchdown.

* The Packers' Jordy Nelson: it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

* Harbinger of things to come? Steelers fumble the ball away.

* We're calling it now with 19 seconds to go in the third quarter. Steelers will win the game. Packers look completely overmatched.

* Joe Buck and Troy Aikman aren't in the booth. They're in the Command Center.

* Could ESPN's Colin Cowherd be right? His take: Aaron Rodgers is great at executing a first-half game plan, but struggles in the second half when the opponent makes adjustments and a quarterback must do more quick-thinking improvisations. That's what seems to be happening here.

* "Imported from Detroit." Clever. But we'd still never buy a Chrysler, Eminem.

* Harbinger of things to come? Big sack on Big Ben.

* Harbinger of things to come? Steelers get a huge defensive stop. The momentum, as they say, is turning Pittsburgh's way.

* The secret to getting the Cheese Fry to see a "Pirates of the Caribbean" sequel? Give it a running time of less than two hours.

* Wondering which seats the old men from the Visa spot are sitting in. You know, the one where those characters have never yet missed attending a Super Bowl in person.

* Yep. It's a game. 21-17. Wake up, Green Bay.

* Steelers are about to make this a game.

* Ozzy Osbourne probably seems clever and trendy in some Madison Ave. ad agency boardroom, but that's not the same as being clever and trendy in the real world.

* How frustrating it must be to get knocked out of a Super Bowl because of injury.

* Don't say this Super Bowl is coming to you live from Dallas. The taxpayers of the City of Arlington paid a lot of money to Jerry Jones for that stadium. Give them their due.

* Random Super Bowl memory #5: Watching Super Bowl XXXVIII (Patriots beat the Panthers) among a group of retirees on a Caribbean cruise and being one of the few people rooting for New England. Didn't know gray-haired folks could give dirty looks like that.

* We didn't much like "I've Had the Time of My Life" when it was on the radio the first time in 1986. Sorry, we think it's written "(I've Had) The Time of My Life." How pretentious are parentheses in pop songs?

* You may not like the Black Eyed Peas, but at least they're still relevant and making hit songs, and not some creaky relic of classic rock appealing only to the 40+ demo. Which is what the Super Bowl halftime usually delivers.

* To the layman, doesn't it seem like the Black Eyed Peas are really just Will.i.am and Fergie? What do those other two dudes contribute?

* All that hype about Fox Sports' "Sounds of the Game" and it's just a bunch of unintelligible shouting and hollering (with the occasional swear word dumped). Lame.

* You didn't hold 'em, Packers. Now it's 21-10.

* Hold 'em, Packers, hold 'em.

* Are we really so unable to delay gratification (or be alone with our thoughts) for more than 60 seconds that we need the new Chevy Cruze to read our Facebook page to us? This is not a good sign, people. The radio is enough of a distraction while you're piloting several thousand pounds of metal and glass at 50 mph, don't you think? Really, can't you wait to learn that your next-door neighbor had a Coke Zero for lunch?

* Regarding Jennings' touchdown catch, as the coach said to Nick Nolte in North Dallas Forty: "Now that's concentration."

* If the half ends 21-3, the Packers will win the ball game. Print it.

* Harbinger of things to come? Big Ben throws interception number two. Perhaps the K-word is alive and well. Karma. Don't worry, Ben. Losing the game won't affect your ability to pick up coeds in college bars.

* Not sure if the people freezing outside the stadium, having paid money to watch the game on a TV not completely dissimilar from the TV they probably have in their living room, are loyal NFL fans or stupid NFL fans. Or both.

* We don't understand exactly what "Super 8" is about, but we want to go to there.

* Sell it all you want, Marvel and Paramount. But "Thor" looks really, really stupid.

* Maybe the U.S. military should look into applications for Coca-Cola. If it can turn a dragon's fire-breath into fireworks, maybe we should be pouring it on Iran's nuclear reactors.

* Oh yay. Another "Transformers" movie. Just what none of us needed.

* We have "Almost Famous" to thank for giving new life to Elton John's annoying "Tiny Dancer."

* So much for a Super Bowl shutout.

* As we said in college, that there is some sticky D, Packers.

* We're a red-blooded, girlcrazy American male who (somewhat) proudly had a Maxim subscription for many years, but the Go Daddy commercials are always on the wrong side of being skanky and sleazy.

* Something undeniably universal about the panic from accidentally hitting "Reply All" on an e-mail.

* Big Ben's not going to last the full game.

* Claymation Eninem. Brilliant.

* Harbinger of things to come? Packers get a "pick six," a football term that seemed to have suddenly come into vogue this season. Like last year's "bubble screen."

* Kia Optima commercial. Best so far (not counting the movie spots).

* "Cowboys and Aliens." One of those genius ideas that seems so obvious, you wonder why you didn't think of it. Plus Olivia Wilde.

* What's with the violent Pepsi Max commercials? Two so far have featured someone getting hit in the head with a can.

* Harbinger of things to come? Packers score first touchdown.

* "Fast Five," huh? Do we need to have seen the last three in order to understand it?

* Hard to believe that not too long ago the networks didn't keep the score in the corner of the screen. Seems like such a no-brainer now. Thanks, Fox Sports.

* Switching a cheeseburger for a bar of soap. Funny, Pepsi Max.

* Thanks to TweetDeck's realtime updates, it's like we're watching the game with Sports Illustrated's uber-columnist Peter King.

* Uh oh. Mendenhall breaks off a big run.

* Random Super Bowl memory #4: The Cheese Fry was only seven when Super Bowl XIII was played (Cowboys lose to the Steelers). While we have only a hazy memory of the game, our strongest memory is the realization that each team got to have its logo painted in one of the end zones.

* There's no way to conclusively study it, but one wonders what role the Madden video game played in elevating the average fan's understanding of the Xs and Os of football. It certainly changed how we look at the game.

* How many times does a ball change hands at the bottom of a pile?

* Harbinger of things to come? Steelers go three and out.

* Random Super Bowl memory #3: Being unable to see Super Bowl XXXIII (Atlanta loses to Denver) because of work-related travel and having to see a small slice of the game at the Salt Lake City airport.

* Mike Tomlin is the same age as the Cheese Fry? Look where he is. Look where we are. May be time to start drinking beer.

* You have to admire Deion Sanders' wardrobe. Look at that shirt.

* Shannon Sharpe was a great player, but he may be one of the most annoying sports commentators working today. Something about the way he over-enunciates drives us crazy. It's like his teeth are too big for his mouth.

* Now the Super Bowl tries to pretend it's as important and significant as world history's greatest and most tragic moments... and even hired Michael Douglas to prove it. Yes yes, the game unites us all, but sometimes the back-patting self-importance gets ridiculous. It's a game, people, that involves a weirdly-shaped leather ball.

* "Heeeeaaaaahhhh... That's so dumb."

* LivingSocial. Funny ad, but we don't get what they're selling.

* "Kung Fu Panda" seems underrated. Way more funny and action-packed than it gets credit for.

* How pathetic that the Cheese Fry and Ms. Cheese Fry are actually having a discussion about whether Christina Aguilera is getting a divorce; A) who cares? and B) how is it that we actually sort of know her personal situation? Thanks, culture of "Access Hollywood" and Us Weekly. Those brain cells can surely be better spent on other, more important questions.

* Random fact: playing a marching snare drum with a tradition grip is no easy feat.

* Mike Tomlin always looks like he should have laser beams coming out of his eyes to better burn your soul to a charred crisp.

* Lea Michele: a future ex-Ms. Cheese Fry.

* Very sad that the Bears didn't get Walter Payton a touchdown in Super Bowl XX. William "Refrigerator" Perry is a bad, 1980s punchline unworthy of carrying Payton's used towel.

* Falcons on the bus. Play 60. Yes!

* Isn't Dr. House always risking his career? Yawn.

* Eagerly anticipating "Battle Los Angeles."

* Jennifer Aniston's agent should get a bonus for finally getting her into a movie that will be a sure-fire hit.

* We're mostly okay with Christina Aguilera, but we're not a fan of those who take the national anthem and twist it into an opera performance full of arpeggio runs and long, look-at-me notes. Reckon she won't be able to resist the temptation.

* At least Sam Elliott lent his gravel baritone to both teams' clip packages and didn't play favorites. He's also selling us trucks today (see below).

* Prediction: Packers 31, Steelers 24.

* We're not sure if we know anyone who still watches "The Simpsons" every week as if it were still 1998.

* We've heard that some people don't like Joe Buck. He may come off a little prudish and nerdy, but he seems solid to us. To us, the best play-by-play guy remains Pay Summerall.

* There's a graduate thesis to be written about the patriotic imagery and tough-guy language used in television ads to sell pickup trucks to American males. We may have to explore this further.

* We don't get NASCAR. And it's probably for the best. How many sports can one person really watch and still get out of the house?

* Random Super Bowl memory #2: Drinking too much to fully remember the Cowboys win over the Bills in Super Bowl XXVIII. So maybe it's not really a memory.

* Clearly, the middle of the Declaration of Independence isn't quite as catchy and poetic as the preamble.

* We hope we get to see the "Play 60" spot with the Atlanta Falcons one last time.

* Not sure why the Super Bowl needs to include a civics lesson. Thanks, Colin Powell, for explaining the importance of the Declaration of Independence.

* Another reason to root against the Steelers: keeping ex-Cowboy Flozell "False Start" Adams from getting a Super Bowl ring.

* "Limitless." Interesting.

* A former girlfriend worked for Taco Bell's media campaign. One of the company's prime customer demographics: college students out late at night who were drunk, looking for a greasy meal. This was accepted as fact.

* We took a tour of Cowboys Stadium. It's bigger than it looks. Impossibly big. You can put the Statue of Liberty on the 50-yard-line and close the roof over her torch.

* As much as we always enjoy the "Fox NFL Sunday" crew, if we had to dump one... it'd have to be Michael Strahan. Howie Long covers the same ground, don't you think?

* Regarding "Drive Angry," does the average viewer really fall for the trick where "reviews" are quoting critics and bloggers from fanboy places like Ain't It Cool News?

* What's the harder phone call to make? Calling NFL commissioner Roger Goddell to break the news about the fire marshal removing thousands of seats? Or calling Jerry Jones?

* We're not sure Ben Roethlisberger will ever completely rehab his image among non-Steeler homers, no matter how many disarming sit-downs he may do with Terry Bradshaw.

* Random Super Bowl memory #1: During the pregame of Super Bowl XXXVII, our viewing party was interrupted by a neighbor who was a full-on, card-carrying member of Raider Nation. This character was decked out in silver and black head to toe. Including the obligatory face paint. He was loud, cocky, and 100% fired up for certain victory, the flames likely kindled by several cases of room-temperature Coors Light. But once the Raiders fell behind, and then lost to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers... uh oh. Raider Neighbor stopped popping into the party. We always wondered how sad he must have been wiping off the face paint, looking in the mirror, listening to his old mix tape of Judas Priest and Dokken, and thinking about what could have been. Especially considering the absurdly perpetual futility of the Raiders ever since.

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Television verisimilitude

We know the procedural shows we enjoy on television aren't documentaries. We've heard enough exasperated complaints from friends to know this - one attorney friend refuses to watch "Law & Order" shows because he finds them so utterly ridiculous and unrealistic. But no network drama can show 44 minutes of phone calls and e-mail sending.

We recently stumbled onto a website that examines in detail the law enforcement reality of TNT's "Southland" (who occupies a high rank in the DVR to-do list). How realistic is the show? If you believe blogger Lee Lofland, very.

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Woe are the post offices

It's not nice to admit, but we take great pleasure in reading stories of the U.S. Postal Service's economic troubles. Today comes news that the USPS is considering closing 2000 offices in a desperate attempt to cut costs and close massive budget deficits. How can you not smirk a little.

It doesn't take a Wharton MBA to diagnose the problem facing the USPS. All you need to do is spend time interacting with clerks at your neighborhood post office. If ever there was a more inefficient, disinterested, and lazy collection of workers than those who often staff the counters at a USPS post office, we have yet to have the misfortune of meeting them. Finding a friendly, competent postal clerk is a miracle on par with finding an extinct tree frog in the Amazon.

(The dullards who work at Rite-Aids could maybe make the contest interesting. We often wonder what sort of employment screening process goes into the hiring of Rite-Aid workers. No matter what location you visit, the workers are lost, confused, and always seem startled to have to work the cash register. Luckily, we now live in a Rite-Aid-free-zone and enjoy CVS and Walgreens. But we digress.)

Here are our observations about post office clerks.**

* Lazy - Why work quickly to make a transaction fast and snappy when you can move ever so slowly and drag everything out? No one's in a hurry here. It's not like we have a limited lunch hour to eat and run multiple errands. Take your time. Reach over there... and then reach over there... now thumb through the stamps - not too fast! Whatever you do, don't exert yourself. Bonus points for having to walk "in the back" to get something or ask a question, thus allowing customers to witness your laborious shuffle-step in excruciating half-speed.

* Chatty - You may have regular customers like Norm from "Cheers," but most people in line don't know you or your nephew or your crazy mother-in-law you like to talk about. Most people in line would rather have their wisdom teeth pulled than spend one more moment in your drab, airless lobby staring at out-of-date sales posters featuring Looney Tunes stamps. No one wants to watch you catch up with the lady who comes in once a week with sixteen packages for her boss. And your willingness to chew the fat with customers is always in direct proportion to the length of your line of customers.

* Stubborn - Speaking of long lines, no matter how long the line may get, please do not take the initiative to call for additional workers to come help you. You'll get to us when you get to us, right? More galling are the peals of laughter coming from the back as your coworkers dick around while we're forced to look at the back of the bald man in front of you for the 16th minute and wonder how he thinks he's going to ship a shoebox that isn't taped closed. Why can't your coworkers come out for a few minutes to chip in? Are they not properly trained in the sophisticated art of cash register button-pushing? That goes double for you, too, post office worker who actually walks by the counter, sees the long line, frowns, and then keeps right on walking.

* Upseller - If we want insurance or proof of delivery or any other damn stupid service you attempt to provide (seriously, the only difference between first-class mail and Priority Mail is the fancy red and blue envelope, right?), we'll ask. How many millions of collective minutes in this country are wasted each week by postal clerks running through their lame laundry list of additional services that you have to say "no" "no" "no" to? I'm mailing a letter to the Gas Company. Why would I want to insure it?

We suspect by now you sense a theme: bureaucratic short-sightedness and sedentary inefficiencies and a complete disinterest in customer service. Slow workers displaying little productivity will of course undermine an organization's profitability. The work of one motivated employee is spread out among three unmotivated employees, all of whom get paid the same. How about cutting loose some of the dead weight? Maybe the workers left behind might put a little bounce in their step. No, that won't work. Instead, let's just raise the postage rates. Or cut back to five days of delivery. That makes sense, right?

Some may argue that we don't understand the complex systems at work here. The problem is not so easily resolved. True, but all we can go by is what we see. And we see big problems. Most legitimate companies do everything they can to hide those problems. The USPS will let anyone take a look for little more than 44 cents.

**A disclaimer: post office mail carriers out lugging those big mail sacks and driving trucks from the passenger seat are a completely different breed, often helpful, energetic, and proactive in ways their in-house coworkers could never be.

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We're told these are our favorite 20 movies of all time

The internet is nothing if it's not a repository for time-wasting addictions. One of our new favorites is Flickchart. By using some kind of fancy algorithm, Flickchart compiles your favorite movies by simply asking you an either/or question for a pair of movies. For example, which is better, The Dark Knight or Swingers? Click your favorite of the two, then up pops another pair. And so on.

Over the last few months, we clicked on 6000 of these pairs. Yes, 6000. The process allowed us to rank over 1000 movies. We tried to stick to one guiding principle in making the choices - would we want to see the movie again? Sure, we all can appreciate the originality of Citizen Kane or the raw power of The Deer Hunter. But like so many films, once was enough thank you very much.

So what did Flickchart tell us?

* We have contemporary tastes. The oldest movie on our top-20 is 1969's Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and that one's probably ranked too high.

* Comedies aren't worthy. As much as we love a good comedy, our top-20 is exclusively action, drama, or thrillers. (Although curiously, one could argue that Dazed and Confused is a dramedy with a good dose of humor.) We're just like the Academy, it seems. Only "serious" movies are worthy of our praise.

* Nostalgia counts for a lot. Is The Breakfast Club truly among the best ten movies ever made? Of course not. But it struck just the right chord with us at just the right age and has ever since been an iconic film with a special place in our memory.

Here's our list (as of now):

1. Dazed and Confused - We really love this movie, but didn't realize how much we love it. But a number-one ranking feels right. In fact, it was just on some random cable channel today. We flipped past it, saw it, wound up watching 20 minutes. Considering it's mostly about high schoolers hanging out in a single 12-hour period, it's surprisingly compelling.

2. Die Hard - Obviously. The standard bearer for all post-80s action. I'm going to count to three. There will not be a four.

3. Children of Men - To give you an obnoxious Hollywood pitch, "It's Die Hard meets the end of the world." Genius. Probably the best post-apocalyptic movie ever.

4. Jaws - We can watch any part of it at any time - and it's probably playing on TBS right now. You're going to need a bigger boat.

5. Erin Brockovich - We're big fans of director Steven Soderberg and this is one of his best. The investigative thriller masquerading as a melodrama, with Julia Roberts giving the performance of her career. Even so, this ranking seems kind of high. One thing about Flickchart, the more movies get added to the list you're comparing, the harder it is for titles to move up or down. You have to hit just the right combination to bump a title one way or another. It's like slots.

6. Lethal Weapon 2 - Classic action comedy. We've seen it countless times, thanks mostly to the summer of 1989 when we worked at a movie theater that played it. I'm not a cop tonight, Roger.

7. Star Wars - At this point, I think we can all agree there's a certain amount of corniness here. And it's way too long. And the effects are... well, they're kind of quaint now. But nostalgia alone puts this in the top 10. We were in kindergarten when this thing blew our minds. These aren't the droids you're looking for.

8. The Breakfast Club - Way too high. A few more hundred clicks and this one would likely take a tumble.

9. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid - We ranked this one high early in the process, before we came up with the "would I watch it again?" rule. And it's been hard to get it to fall. We watched this again recently and we're probably good for another five years or so. What are you worried about? The fall'll probably kill you.

10. Syriana - We only saw this once, but it's the kind of gritty, complicated, "real" movie we always love. It stuck with us.

11. Lost in Translation - Yes yes, this is an acquired taste. Few of our friends liked it. But it's incredibly poetic and lush, a calm, quiet movie about random connections that have an unexpectedly profound impact. Plus, it's got Scarlett Johansson at her absolutely most enchanting.

12. Thelma and Louise - Perfect in just about every way, including the controversial ending. The men are all pigs (except for Harvey Keitel), but so what? Most times, yeah, we're all pigs. I can't tell if they're smart or lucky. Brains will only get you so far and luck always runs out.

13. No Country for Old Men - Another fairly recent title, but one that was seared in our mind. Epic scope, powerhouse acting, big themes, and a palpable sense of foreboding.

14. Memento - Probably ranked too low here. One of the most ridiculously clever scripts ever written. A masterpiece of plotting. Absolutely worthy of repeat viewings.

15. Spiderman 2 - It may be the best superhero movie of all time. Name a better one.

16. Empire Strikes Back - Definitely ranked too low, but Flickchart never asked us to pick between Star Wars and Empire. Star Wars would lose every time. The best of the six movies, without question. Anyone who says otherwise deserves to be frozen in carbonite. They should be perfectly fine... if they survive the freezing process.

17. Silence of the Lambs - Another polished gem from start to finish. Swept the five major Oscars (Actor, Actress, Director, Script, Picture). We won't blame it for launching the post-90s obsession with serial killers. Insert your own fava bean joke here.

18. Titanic - We were tempted to not vote for this one. It's a little embarrassing to admit liking this because now - 15 years later - it's become cool to make fun of the movie's dorkier elements and the way it appealed to 12-year-old girls (which is also the reason it made $1 billion with a B). But if we were to be perfectly honest, then it belongs on this list. We'd watch it again.

19. Independence Day - Another popcorn movie that appealed to wide audiences but wouldn't be in a discussion about truly "great" cinema. But there's something to be said about making good, solid populist entertainment. Ask Steven Spielberg. Among end-of-the-world disaster movies, none are this rousing and shamelessly patriotic. Bill Pullman for president.

20. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - This one's ranked too high. We admired it, enjoyed it. But we wouldn't rush out to see it again. Probably the film snob in us put a thumb on the scale for this one.

If you're curious, just missing the top 20 were: Swingers, Gone Baby Gone, Tootsie (a comedy!), Tombstone, Contact, Sunshine, Atonement, Forgetting Sarah Marshall (another comedy!), Rear Window (an old movie from before we were born!), and Slumdog Millionaire.

For the record, had Flickchart given us a chance, we would have put The Parallax View in our top-10. One of the creepiest, gritty, and most claustrophobic political thrillers ever made. Warren Beatty tries to infiltrate a secret agency that creates assassins. Rent it.

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Cassette tape rewind: senior winter

The Cheese Fry was sunny with optimism in January of 1994. Kicking it in a sweet (if slightly ramshackle) apartment just a ten-minute walk from campus, dating a 20-year-old sophomore, daring to skip those boring film criticism classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, enjoying the prestige that comes from being of legal drinking age, looking forward to another summer working at cheerleader camps (yes, you read that right), and in general, strutting around like some big-time, cool college senior (our creaky sky blue 1979 Ford Granada not withstanding).

Here's the rundown of the top songs in the country just 17 short years ago: January 17, 1994.

1. Mariah Carey "Hero" - We're not ashamed to admit that some Mariah Carey songs (e.g. "Vision of Love" and "Anytime You Need a Friend") are guilty pleasures. But this one is particularly treacly and saccharine, the sort of thing written mainly to play at high school proms.

2. Bryan Adams "All for Love" - From his toothless, soundtrack period, not his angry-but-harmless Reckless rocker period. Seriously, how cool are the first few seconds of "Summer of 69"? Don't lie.

3. Ace of Base "All That She Wants" - We really like this song now, perhaps for pure cheesy nostalgia, but hated it back then. One of those songs that got very very overplayed on the radio.

4. Janet Jackson "Again" - We don't remember it.

5. Toni Braxton "Breathe Again" - Catchy in that 1990s smooth R&B sort of way. But when we think of Toni Braxton, we always think of the way romantic jealousies involving her helped break up the 1990s high-scoring Dallas Mavericks. Not to be confused with the 2000s high-scoring Mavericks who utterly collapsed in the 2006 Finals against our Sworn Enemy Dwyane Wade. But that's another blog post.

6. DRS "Gangsta Lean" - We had to go to iTunes for a refresher. It didn't help. If we didn't know better, we would have sworn this thing never got played on the radio.

7. Michael Bolton "I Said I Loved You But I Lied" - Can we all agree that the scorn and ridicule heaped upon Bolton is entirely deserved and warranted? How did this guy have a career?

8. Tag Team "Whoomp! (There It Is)" - A song whose life was unforgivably extended by its use at big sporting events. Criminally inane.

9. Tevin Campbell "Can We Talk" - Never heard of it.

10. Snoop Doggy Dogg "What's My Name?" - Now we're talking. Yeeah. We had yet to embrace the appeal of hip-hop in 1994. We were still in our Singles-Reality Bites (the two epochal movies of Generation X) grunge phase. But there's no denying the "Snoop Dog-gy Dogg-oh-ogg" hook.

In 2009, we looked at the top of the charts for July 1989.

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Clear eyes, full heart

The Onion offers a thorough examination of the Cheese Fry's favorite coach, Eric Taylor. Sorry, Jimmy Johnson.

Next question: where can we get us a pair of those ominous wraparound shades that Coach Taylor likes to wear as he stalks the practice field each day after school?

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10 over-unders: 2000s movies

The Cheese Fry thought it'd be easy to examine the big theatrical releases from 2000-2010 and put together a list of "overrated" and "underrated." What are the movies that have great reputations from wide audience and/or critics, but are actually quite ordinary and fail to live up to the hype? What are the films that were dismissed by moviegoers or panned by critics, but - if given a fair shake - prove to be worthy, compelling, and overcome bad press?

Turns out, most movies are rated exactly where they should be. Most people would agree that Little Miss Sunshine is almost a perfect movie while Van Helsing is absolutely terrible. Great movies attract good word-of-mouth and critical acclaim. Even if they flop at the box office, most people recognize those movies as being quality titles. "I heard that was good," they say. Conversely, lame movies suffer appropriately from negative worth-of-mouth and critical disgust. This includes huge hits at the box office. Millions saw Transformers, but how many really thought it was as good as American cinema can deliver? As a whole, we all collectively have a realistic understanding of what's good and what's bad.

So then, how to come up with a list of overrated and underrated of the 2000s? It's a shorter list than we figured it would be. So we made it nice and even and kept the list to just ten each.

Underrated - You may have heard it wasn't all that good (or just, you know, okay), certainly not worth your $10 at a local theater. But trust us. It's way better than you expect.

* 3:10 to Yuma

* 8 Mile - That Eminem kid, he can act.

* Blue Crush

* Bring It On - Unjustly diminished by a raft of lame sequels.

* Cloverfield

* The Interpreter - The sort of sophisticated, important drama/thriller that older audiences claim to love, yet never pay money to see.

* Reign of Fire - If you're going to do a dragon siege movie, make it a good one.

* Resident Evil

* V for Vendetta

* The Village - The backlash against M. Night is big and it is relentless. The Happening deserved moviegoers scorn and ridicule, but not this one.

Overrated - You probably heard it was amazing in every way. You have to go see it immediately. Uh, no you don't. Overblown and underwhelming.

* A Beautiful Mind

* Anchorman - Why does Will Ferrell insist on making us pay to see him try to amuse himself and his friends?

* Avatar

* The Dark Knight - Good, yes. The second coming of film, no.

* Gladiator

* Inception - See "The Dark Knight" above.

* Juno - Its snarky, too-cool-for-school preciousness wore out its welcome by the end of opening weekend.

* There Will Be Blood - And in the audience, there will be sleep. Sorry, couldn't resist. It's like that awful painting you see in the museum that you try to like because everyone tells you it's genius.

* Tropic Thunder

* Unfaithful

What do you think? Agree with this list? Are we way off base? Do you have your own over-unders?

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Why you didn't win your fantasy football championship

* Waited too long to draft a quarterback (you were too busy loading up on #2 running backs)

* Drafted a quarterback too soon (why aren't you loading up on #2 running backs?)

* Lost a key game the one week you would have beat everyone else but your opponent

* Lost a key game the one week your opponent would have lost to everyone else but you

* Didn't make enough trades (you foolishly thought your team was solid when it was actually quite mediocre)

* Made too many trades (you foolishly thought your team was mediocre when it was actually quite solid)

* Didn't trust your gut about that one rookie and he turned into a 12-points-a-week superstar (who knew)

* Trusted your guy about that one rookie and he turned into a 0-points-a-week bust (who knew)

* Put too much emphasis on getting a good defense (defense wins championships)

* Didn't put nearly enough emphasis on getting a good defense (good defenses are a dime a dozen)

* Drank too much at the draft and made stupid, risky decisions (next year: Coke on ice)

* Didn't drink enough at the draft and made too-safe, conservative decisions (next year: whiskey in a flask)

* Put too much faith in the weekly fantasy website rankings (they're the experts)

* Put too little faith in the weekly fantasy website rankings (what the hell do they know?)

* Did way too much research before the draft and over-thought every move (look at my three-ring binder)

* Did too little research before the draft and used uneducated guesswork to make every move (look at my brand-new unopened fantasy magazine and my Sharpie pen)

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2011 will be the Year of the Tweet

The Cheese Fry has at last joined the social media tsunami and taken steps to take full advantage of its foamy fury.

Specifically:

1. You'll find now under each post a little "Tweet" icon that will allow those interested to tweet any worthy blog entry. Take one down and pass it around.
2. You'll also notice in the far right column a feed to the Cheese Fry's Twitter account. Our invaluable 140-character observations on pop culture will be featured not only on Twitter but here on the Blogger "mother ship."
3. This blog is also now 100% searchable via your local neighborhood search engine.

Tell your friends and spread the word!

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Another catchy commercial

Here's another recent TV spot that we find ourselves humming long after it ends. AdTunes (via a quick Google search) tells us the song is called "Chugjug" by a group called Family of the Year.

There's also something hypnotic about the visuals as well. Advertising research shows that one of the best ways to sell a product is to make a consumer think others are already using it - we all want to be a part of the crowd and belong. This spot surely drives that point home with style and warmth.

And yes, the Cheese Fry is a proud Advil user.

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My mascot can beat up your mascot (NBA edition)

If imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, who better to flatter than ourselves?

We ranked the NFL mascots last year and wanted to do the same exercise for the NBA. Which basketball mascots, in the real world, are the scariest? Which would you not want to meet in a cage match?

1. Suns– In theory, there’s nothing more powerful than a sun. Heat, light, radiation. And we’re talking plural suns here. It’s really no contest. Plus they have Steve Nash.

Next up are the big animals that can take you out with one flick of their claws/horns.

2. Raptors – We saw Jurassic Park.
3. Grizzlies
4. Bulls

Now the aggressive humans.

5. Warriors – It’s right there in the name. They fight. But then again, they are from the Golden State. How fierce can they really be?
6. Wizards – We’ll give them the benefit of the doubt here and assume the can cast some really nasty spells.
7. Kings – They’ll just order someone else to kill you, like a Warrior or a Wizard.

Which leads to the smaller animals. You can probably fend them off, but they’ll do some serious damage first

9. Bobcats
10. Bucks
11. Hawks
12. Hornets – But only if we’re talking a swarm. One on one, it’s no contest. Just get some Black Flag.

We’re scraping the bottom of the barrel now. Nothing much scary left. Might as well have an NBA team called the Accountants or the iPods.

13. Mavericks – Presumably they like to do things their own way.
14. Blazers
15. Celtics
16. Cavaliers – Whatever, dude. We’re, like, totally cavalier.
17. Lakers – We’ve never met a laker in the real world. Have you?

Now come some a couple of strange abstractions.

18. Heat – If we give the Suns the number-one slot, we should at least give heat some props.
19. Magic – Seriously, though. The "Magic"? Are they serious?

Which leaves a bunch of inanimate objects. A curious trend for NBA teams.

20. Rockets – Stick a nuclear warhead on the tip and we’ll see who’s scary.
21. Pacers
22. Clippers
23. Pistons
24. Spurs – They’d have to be really, really sharp spurs.
25. Thunder – Your mascot, Oklahoma City, is essentially sound waves.
26. Nuggets – You could hock them, we suppose.

It’s a four-way tie for last place.

27. Nets – At least it’s basketball-related. The next expansion team may want to look into trademarking the name Gatorade-Bottles.
27. Knicks – Aren’t these a kind of pants?
27. 76ers – Which is a what exactly, someone very very patriotic?
27. Jazz – At least thunder can startle you. Nothing much startling about “Birdland.”

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Knee-jerk review: ESPN's 30 for 30 "Pony Excess"

1. The Cheese Fry was a geeky freshman at Southern Methodist University for the fall 1990 football season, the second season back from SMU's infamous "death penalty" punishment for repeated NCAA recruiting violations. For all four years of our college attendance, we witnessed first-hand the severity of that punishment. If we could muster a handful of wins, it was a miracle (Texas Tech beat the hell out of SMU one cold Saturday afternoon without throwing the ball a single time).
2. To this date, we harbor a deep, burning hatred for the University of Houston for its 95-21 shellacking of SMU in 1989. Andre Ware (one of those Heisman winner flameouts; poetic justice, if you ask us) was throwing the ball as time expired, hoping to crack triple-digits. Jackasses, each and every one of them. The funny part? We weren't even an SMU student at the time. We hate them anyway.
3. No college program will ever again get the "death penalty." The NCAA sees now that it's not just suspending a single season, but gutting an entire program for 20 years.
4. As one of the players describes the 1989 comeback season: "We weren't big, but we were slow."
5. Personal note: the Cheese Fry went to SMU with the filmmaker's older brother.
6. An impressive array of talking heads. Just about every local Dallas sportscaster and sportwriter is on hand to offer opinion and overviews, including the incomparable Dale Hansen of WFAA whose on-air expose signaled the beginning of the end.
7. They even dug up the old KXAS sports guy Scott Murray, surely the nerdiest, most uncool sportscaster ever.
8. Not sure if it's amusing or chilling that Eric Dickerson still won't say why he chose to come to SMU.
9. Great sound bites, as expected, from Skip Bayless and Norm Hitzges. We are big fans.
10. Little did we know that the Coach-Getting-Out-While-the-Getting-Is-Good move, recently executed by USC's Pete Carroll just prior to the Reggie Bush scandal breaking open, was undertaken by SMU coach Ron Meyer. Why stick around when you can let the next coach suffer the fallout?
11. Some very interesting theories are put forth here about how and why the scandal came to be. Most intriguing: the newspaper war between the Dallas Morning News and Dallas Times Herald led to the kind of intense competition that demanded big stories, like prying into the dirty secrets at SMU.
12. How stupid do you have to be to mail illegal cash payments to players' families using university envelopes?
13. We wonder whatever happened to Eric Dickerson's gold Trans-Am.
14. A football scandal that involved the governor of Texas. You can't make this stuff up, people. And one look at Bill Clements, with his squinty smile and down-home accent, and you know the guy is as crooked as they come.
15. SMU was so greedy and arrogant that it seems like they were recruiting and paying players they didn't even really need or want.
16. What might have been if SMU hadn't tied Arkansas in 1982 and instead posted an undefeated season.
17. An interesting theory that the absence of SMU on the Southwest Conference football schedules was the opening that Texas, A&M, and Texas Tech needed to justify leaving the conference.
18. The Cheese Fry had always figured that the "death penalty" was unjustified, but the documentary makes a pretty convincing case for its use. SMU was put on probation and warned many times. They even promised to clean house... and yet still continued to pay its players. With the knowledge of the school's board of directors and administrators. As one of the talking heads points out, this wasn't just some renegade, overzealous booster.
19. We recommend David Whitford's book A Payroll to Meet.
20. Another interesting theory, one may also explain the NCAA trouble the University of Miami faced in the 1980s: upstart programs who suddenly have success upset the apple cart. The traditional powers don't like newcomers to the party, such as when SMU upset Texas on national TV in 1982.
21. We wonder how compelling all of this would be to someone not so invested in Dallas and SMU.
22. Those are some pretty amazing option runs, Eric Dickerson and Craig James.
23. Perfect ending to the documentary - a montage of post-"death penalty" NCAA investigations and sanctions. Big schools cheat. That's just a fact of college football life. The trick is not getting caught.

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Knee-jerk review: "Black Swan"

1. Layered and complex. Nicely done.

2. There's a definite sense of dread hanging over the movie. You're always halfway expecting something bad to happen in even the most everyday scenes.

3. Strange fixation with injured fingernails and toenails. Discuss the significance amongst yourselves.

4. It's almost Polanskian in the way we're never sure what's really happening and what's only a fantasy. Creepy and unsettling.

5. We always respond to a movie that provides a glimpse into an exotic professional world. And this certainly feels like an authentic look at the pressure-cooker life of a prestigious ballet company.

6. Natalie Portman's getting Oscar buzz for her performance and we get that. She does a good job in the kind of showy, dynamic role (i.e. scenes where she screams in anger, scenes where she trembles in fear, scenes where she sobs in agony) that Oscar voters love. But we still find her cold and remote. Sorry.

7. Mila Kunis, on the other hand, is a knockout. She's completely magnetic and beguiling. A long way from "That 70s Show."

8. We like the way the film slowly, subtly reveals that something may not be quite right with Portman's relationship to her mother.

9. There's some very complex ideas at work here about art. What sacrifices are necessary in pursuing art? Is there more to art than just technical proficiency? Do you also need emotion and unpredictability? Are genius artists also by definition volatile and crazy? Is there such a thing as artistic perfection?

10. No, we didn't know what "Swan Lake" was about until we saw this movie.

11. Vincent Cassell is predictably oily and untrustworthy.

12. You because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not really out to get you.

13. It's good, yes. Complicated and ambitious in ways so many movies simply aren't. But The Wrestler is still our favorite Darren Aronofsky film.

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Ranking holiday mixed nuts

1. Cashew - We wouldn't trust anyone who didn't like cashews.
2. Almond - A close tie with the cashew. There's something so aerodynamic about its shape. Like a salty little bullet.
3. Macadamia - Because it's exotic and oddly soft to chew.
4. Pecan - We love pecans, but we have to deduct points because you can find them just about anywhere.
5. Brazil - If we ran a mixed nut empire, we'd never include this nut. We'd starve the Brazil nut people right out of business. Does anyone honestly like this thing?

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Have a Hyundai Christmas

Amid the brightly-colored noise of holiday ads pushing two-day sales and zero-percent-financing comes a beguiling series of spots from Hyundai. We thought there was something weirdly intriguing about the two musicians in the commercials, especially the female singer's beatific, wide-eyed serenity. If only we could attain such a look of sedated bliss. A quick check of Google confirms that these are no actors, but in fact members of a Southern California indie band called Pomplamoose. Where do they come up with these names?

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Our five greatest flag football moments

The Cheese Fry spent its early 30s in an almost weekly quest to cause bodily injury in a pathetic attempt to recapture lost youth by pretending to be a football player. Even with the flags and a no-tackle rule, these Culver City-Santa Monica-based contests were brutal. Players went to the hospital, broke bones, suffered permanent disfigurement, and endured a week of Advil consumption to recover for the next weekend contest. At one point we were wearing not one, but two knee braces.

If there were a highlight tape of the Cheese Fry's greatest moments, this is what would be included:

1. The Mud Bowl. Imagine a soggy soccer field, more puddles than mud. Imagine pouring rain. Imagine players wearing heavy, stretched, wet clothes streaked with mud. Now imagine the Cheese Fry as the only player wearing cleats. It was an afternoon that made us feel like Barry Sanders, planting and cutting, juking and jiving. You can't catch me not because I'm good, but because you're stuck in flat-soled sneakers. We will never forget the glory of this performance.

2. Thanksgiving Overmatch. A crisp Thanksgiving morning, a bigger crowd that usual. Probably six-on-six. Because of the way the schoolyard pick went down, the Cheese Fry wound up being covered by a very short, very confused gentleman. He didn't know much about football. The result wasn't pretty. We dominated the Short Confused Guy without mercy.

3. Heatstroke Fly. Griffith Park on a hot summer day. First play from scrimmage. A fly on the right sideline. The Cheese Fry sprinted, blew past the defender, got open. The ball dropped perfectly. The Cheese Fry doesn't usually catch balls over the shoulder very well. But that afternoon, we got the ball and didn't break stride. Boom. Touchdown. Cut to ten minutes later as the Cheese Fry suffered what was surely a heatstroke. But it was worth it. Right?

4. The Perfect Throw. The Cheese Fry would never claim to be a good passer. It takes a tricky combination of eye-hand coordination, spatial geometry, and fast thinking to get the ball where it needs to go. Frankly, we're terrible. But one throw sticks in our memory because it was so instinctual and so flawless. And never to be repeated again. It was a moment where, as they say, "the game slowed down." With a defender in our face rushing, we delivered a strike (on a rope) through two defender's outstretched hands and planted it right in the belly of a slanting receiving. Poetry in motion.

5. Our Favorite Play. We loved this call - typically called at the goal line as one player drew it our on the T-shirt of another player - because it almost always worked. Why? Because the Cheesy Fry is so very slow, but in possession of soft hands. If we can get open, we'll make the catch, coach. While two receivers slant over the top, we drag across underneath. In the confusion of the crossing pattern, we almost always got a step on the defender, got open, and made the catch. Score.

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Knee-jerk review: "Tron Legacy"

1. Pretty pictures for sure.

2. At first we didn't like it much, but there is something intriguing about the film's central theme about the impossible pursuit of perfection and the unintended consequences of such a folly. We find that sort of fresh.

3. The younger, CGI'd Jeff Bridges is pretty laughable. Like something out The Polar Express. Great idea, though.

4. The plot seems needlessly convoluted and confusing. And packed full of cheesy, on-the-nose dialogue. Could have used another rewrite or two.

5. We never thought Olivia Wilde was that hot. Guess she is.

6. Lightcycles, meet lightjets. Cool.

7. The music, by Daft Punk, is nothing short of incredible. Best part of the movie without question.

8. We didn't know Bruce Boxleitner was in this movie. An unexpected surprise.

9. If Encom is the Microsoft of this world, how is it that its sleek corporate headquarters is seemingly guarded (on the eve of its newest OS release, no less) by a single pudgy, middle-aged security guard? It's this kind of narrative implausibility that drives us crazy.

10. We do have fond memories of the 1982 original. We even turned a plastic frisbee into an identity disk. Yes, we were one of those kinds of ten-year-olds.

11. Michael Sheen is certainly having a good time. The movie could have used more of that sort of energy and edge. It's almost like he stepped in from another, better film.

12. It's all fairly somber and humorless. There's one laugh line in the whole movie, involving Jules Verne, of all things.

13. If the portal is so easy to get to from the grid, why don't more programs try to use it to escape?

14. Curious to see if wide audiences (beyond the nerd niche, we mean) turn this into a hit and validate Disney's unusual decision to sequelize a film that's little more than a cult novelty.

15. Overall, a disappointment. And we had low expectations.

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Knee-jerk review: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1"

1. No, we never read the books.
2. It really is a wonder that Warner Bros. didn't completely screw this franchise up. Every movie in the series is exceedingly well-made - and for the most part, each one is better than the last. Trust us, there were so many ways for this to fail. (And we're not even counting the possibility that J.K. Rowling would fail to keep delivering best-sellers.) Cast the wrong kids, fumble the tone, pick the wrong director, fail to properly trust the source material, get sloppy with the sequels and coast. Every pothole was miraculously avoided.
3. We still don't understand what Ron Weasely adds other than some lame comic relief. He gives Harry a family, yadda yadda. Okay, sure. But is that really enough to make him one of the Big Three?
4. We always liked Mad Eye.
5. Some very clever, if unsettling, satire here, especially the Stalin-style purging and persecuting of Muggles (and suspected Muggles).
6. Bellatrix Lestrange is kind of hot.
7. The best sequence of the movie: breaking into the Ministry to get the Horcrux.
8. "Horcrux." What a word.
9. Not much of a cliffhanger ending, if you ask us.
10. Hermione is kind of a bad ass, isn't she?
11. We don't much like the first two movies, perhaps due to our general distaste for simple-minded, gee-whiz director Chris Columbus. (We will never forgive him for Home Alone.) But we must give him begrudging respect for setting up the Potter world and for picking a sterling cast.
12. "Stupefy!"
13. Poor Dobby.
14. We want a tent like that. Might actually go camping once in a while.15. There is a lot of running around... and also a lot of waiting around. And while we are fed a good deal of important information, there is a nagging sense that not much is really happening. One can only assume the real action will take place in Part 2.

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Topics of Conversation with Old School Friends You Haven't Seen in a While

* Your babies and children
* Who was in which class (i.e. you can no longer remember who's older and who's younger)
* Bad things that have happened to old classmates (or better yet, bad physical appearances of old classmates)
* Amusing stories that involved you many years ago but the supposed details of which you have zero recollection (i.e. "I never said that!")
* Comparisons between the current incarnation of your alma mater and the one you inhabited many years ago - these new kids have it much better than you did
* Wondering how you survived some of the stupid shenanigans you once pursued
* Dead teachers
* Asking your classmates if they remember so-and-so (odds are only 50-50 at best that they did, which makes no sense - how can they not remember so-and-so?)
* Where old classmates now live
* What old classmates no do for a living
* Whether or not you're on Facebook

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