12 people we hate at the grocery store

1. The person wearing a bluetooth headset. (Full disclosure: we pretty much hate this person wherever we see them.)
2. The deli counter worker who refuses to stop slicing meat and come over to help us, even though we know she sees us. Can that meat really not wait 2 minutes, honey?
3. The old lady who parks her cart in the middle of the aisle, creating gridlock in the bread aisle as she tried to price compare the wheat and the honey-wheat.
4. The hippie-looking dude out front with a clipboard asking us if we're registered to vote.
5. The group of workers on their break who sit on the curb out front and smoke. Can't they do that in the back of the store in the alley? Why do we have to look at them look at us as we walk up to the door?
6. The smelly homeless guy in line behind you who's buying granola bars and beer.
7. Whoever's in charge of the decision to not open more check-out lines despite the throng of people jamming the front of the store in that confusing jumble of carts that makes it impossible for you to find the end of any one line.
8. Anyone who's oblivious to your need to get past them.
9. Self-involved, small-minded people having a conversation on their cell phone while the poor cashier is trying to conduct with them pertinent check-out business. He's trying to get her to sign the receipt or find out what kind of bag she wants, but she can't hear him because she's too busy talking to someone about her loser weekend plans or what her poor, hapless boyfriend's up to. Meanwhile, you're there staring at the clock wondering when this level of hell will come to an end. Have you ever fantasized about taking that phone and hurling it across the store? No? Just us? Try it sometime.
10. Kids running up and down the aisles. Where are your parents?
11. People who claim that they left their reward card at home. Do they really expect us to believe that crap? Have you ever left your rewards card at home? Put it in your wallet or on your key ring, genius. Either that or stop the lying.
12. The worker who has no idea where to find what is it you're seeking. Better yet, doesn't even know what it is you're talking about when you describe what it is you're seeking.


  1. 13. People who write a check - especially if they wait to even START to write said check until all groceries have been scanned, and especially, especially if all groceries have been scanned and they JUST THEN pull the checkbook out of the purse.

    14. The store who only gives you the option of self checkout when you have an entire cart to process.

    15. The voice on the self checkout machine.

    But, I have to say, I do sometimes actually forget my reward card. In my other purse. In the other car...somewhere else. So...

    16. Reward cards. Just get rid of them. Thank you.

  2. The Cheese Fry8:51 PM

    #13 was definitely a problem for us in the recent past. But not so much in the days of ever-increasing debit cards. But yes, these people are problems.