Fantasy "Survivor"

The pop-culture savants at Grantland have done it again. They've concocted a fantasy-football style game based on CBS's hit "Survivor," exposing all of the show's cliches and themes.

Take a look:

* No points for unintentional nudity

* All hook-up points scored at triple value (they deserve them for hooking up with someone who hasn’t showered for a month)

* Making a catty exit speech: 25 points

* Wining a “tie vote” challenge: 10 points

* Stealing or hiding food: 15 points

* Killing a mammal and eating it (i.e., no fish or insects): 15 points (only killer gets points)

* Receiving medical attention: 20 points

* Adding additional flair on tribal vote card (smiley faces, hearts, symbols, etc.): -10 points

* Announcing that you are "in control of this game": 5 points

* Accusing someone of eating more food than they were rationed: 5 points

* Being sent home with an unused immunity idol: -20 points

* Jeff Probst stops addressing you by your real name and starts using a nickname: 25 points (one time only)

* The Loved One who comes to the island is not a parent, spouse, kin, or sibling: 20 points

* No Loved One comes to the island: 100 points

* Claiming your real job gives you an advantage in the game: 25 points

* Crying in Tribal Council: 5 bonus points

* Jury member makes a survivor cry in the Final Tribal Council: 20 points

* Getting injured in an immunity challenge in an unathletic manner: 15 points

* Having so much trouble swimming that it briefly seems like you might drown: 10 points

* Being unable to light a fire: -5 points

* Being unable to make fire in a tie breaker: -5 more points

* Comparing another contestant to vermin in Tribal Council: 10 points

* Faking possession of an immunity idol: 10 points (one time only)

* Unsuccessfully hiding the immunity idol: 5 points

* Claiming that you will "teach these young people a thing or two": 10 points

* Saying something that makes Jeff Probst raise his eyebrows: 10 points

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