Uninformed fall TV preview

What little we know about the upcoming slate of fall television shows we've learned from TV spots, billboards, and glossy supermarket-checkout magazines. But that's more than enough for us to form certain opinions, such as our utter lack of interest in NBC's "Free Agents" (coworkers sleep together, hilarity ensures) or the CW's "Ringer" (twins fight, thrills ensue) based solely on our fervent disinterest in Hank Azaria and Sarah Michelle Gellar.

The eight new shows we'll be sampling:

"Charlie's Angels" (ABC) - We'll take a look. But we all know there's simply no way ABC didn't screw this up like NBC screwed up the "Bionic Woman" remake a few years back. We're also not fans of making John Bosley a 20-something hunk. But if they keep the theme song (and the explosion logo), we'll cut them a small bit of slack.

"New Girl" (Fox) - By now we've probably seen every joke from the pilot thanks to the endless spots on Fox, but this is still the show we're most rooting for. That said, we stipulate that the sort of adorably awkward and quirky pixie girl Zooey Deschanel specializes in doesn't exist in the real world. But we don't watch Fox to get a look at the "real world." We watch Fox to see parallel universes that involve people trapped in amber and disappearing Joshua Jacksons.

"Pan Am" (ABC) - Could this "Mad Men" in the air? It should be, it could be. But it's probably not.

"Person of Interest" (CBS) - Seems appropriately gritty and dark, but it may be trying too hard to be a post-9/11 statement show. We'd also like to note that this is the same network responsible for the insufferably cheesy "Hawaii Five-O." (Then again, it's also the home of the best show on broadcast TV: "The Good Wife.") Bonus points for post-"Lost" Michael Emerson.

"The Playboy Club" (NBC) - We were excited by this other 1960s period drama what with the sexy backdrop and hot women. But then we learned it revolves around a mob murder. That can't be good.

"Two Broke Girls" (CBS) - We have a crush on Kat Dennings. The end.

"Up All Night" (NBC) - Despite a very strong cast (Will Arnett rules), we're skeptical if the show can mine a season's worth of material out of, you know, just being tired and rundown because of a baby.

"Whitney" (NBC) - Whitney Cummings is genuinely funny and NBC seems to have decided that this is the show that deserves the bulk of it advertising budget. They're pushing it very, very hard. They either know they have a hit or they're shoving a lame show down our throats a la NBC's "Joey."

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