1. Our first movie in theaters in months... and we pick this one?
2. Preposterous, pretty much from top to bottom.
3. We enjoy a good cheesy B-movie as much as the next guy. But don't insult our intelligence. At least try, filmmakers, to sell it. This movie asks the audience to buy several moments that are 100% implausible, illogical, and ridiculous. They sink the whole thing.
4. The sexism is also pretty uncomfortable. One female lead is stuck pining for the hero, another gets the hell beaten out of her, and the other exists solely to vet the hero.
5. What's with all of the gunshots and knives to heads? Ick. The older we get, the less we enjoy this kind of brutal violence.
6. To glibly say, "It's Die Hard in the White House" doesn't clearly underscore how often this movie hits Die Hard's narrative beats. It's more ripoff than homage. There's even the hero-meets-the-bad-guy-and-doesn't-know-it moment.
7. There's surely some political/cultural point to be made about how this movie renders the American military so hopelessly inept and impotent. Is that how some of us feel deep down after the morass of Iraq and Afghanistan? Is that somehow in the zeitgeist?
8. Cerbeus. Really? No way to change the codes on something so powerful, huh? If you say so, Olympus Has Fallen.
9. No way does a four-star admiral cooperate like that. No way.
10. We have a feeling this movie was made sort of cheap, so we were looking for the effects shots and corner-cutting, trying to figure out how they faked DC and White House in Ontario or North Carolina. It all looks pretty good, though.
11. So the bad guy's entire plan hinges on a decision by the President that simply couldn't be 100% predicted. That is, if the President makes choice B instead A, the movie's over at the end of act one. Like we said, don't insult our intelligence.
12. If you're a smart computer hacker, you too apparently can sit at a classified, complicated multi-screen workstation and nimbly control all aspects of the White House. Monitor video feeds, seal off air vents, connect to the Pentagon. It's easier than Windows 8!
13. We especially loved the moment where the bad guys somehow hit a couple of keys and pull up satellite images of aircraft carriers in the Pacific open.
14. Los Angeles aside: we met a drunk Robert Forster at a party once. Nice guy.
15. We begrudgingly admit that Gerard Butler has some good lines. But one quip left a bad taste in our mouth, given as it was amid a pile of dead Secret Service agents.
16. We kept trying to imagine Obama, Biden, and Hillary Clinton in a similar hostage situation. What would they do with a gun to their head? Would they cooperate or take a bullet for the country's greater good? Can they take a beating? Biden probably could.
17. We can't recall another recent movie with this high a body count. Wow.
18. We're going to give Rick Yune the benefit of the doubt and say that we hated his dead-eyed bad-guy performance only because we hated the movie. But man is he a boring one-note villain. Zzzzz.
19. Several times, a TV news graphic in the movie spelled it "Whitehouse." One word. This is that kind of movie.
20. Hollywood needs to learn that the F-bomb packs its best punch when used sparingly and when saved for maximum moments of drama and tension.
21. Okay okay, yeah, there were some cool moments. We did like some of the twists involving the bad guy's ultimate goal.
22. Overall, there's a smart, complex thriller to be made about how bad guys overrun the White House. This one, unfortunately, isn't it. Maybe this summer's White House Down will be it. Yep. Same premise. It's Deep Impact/Armageddon all over again. Or is it Volcano/Dante's Peak?
3.11.2013
Attacking Echo Base
We've previously shared with you a crazy, in-depth look at the so-called "Endor Holocaust," an examination of the deadly consequences to inhabitants of Endor if a Death Star-sized moon exploded in its orbit as depicted in the final moments of Return of the Jedi. Let's just say the Ewoks won't be celebrating for long.
And now comes a fascinating, detailed military examination of the Hoth battle from The Empire Strikes Back that looks at the poor combat strategy employed by Darth Vader and the Empire. Genius.
And now comes a fascinating, detailed military examination of the Hoth battle from The Empire Strikes Back that looks at the poor combat strategy employed by Darth Vader and the Empire. Genius.
2.26.2013
Knee-jerk review: "The 85th Annual Academy Awards"
1. We admire Seth
McFarlane. He's a self-made man, an artist who toiled in obscurity animating lame Hanna Barbera cartoons while quietly crafting the idea that would became the juggernaut "Family Guy." His success was not handed to him. We like that. Yeah yeah, "Family Guy" never explored high-minded social satire like "The Simpsons," but it certainly can still be funny, cramming in more jokes-per-minute than just about anything we've ever seen. The fact that so many of the gags are directed right at the pop culture nostalgia of Generation X makes it all the more appealing in that inside baseball sort of way. If you get it, you're in the club.
2. We have mixed feelings about "We Saw Your Boobs." Hmmm. The juvenile side of us finds it quite hilarious, especially given the many hours we logged long ago (not now, of course, don't be silly) looking for naked scenes in movies. But there's also a side of us that's a little offended, a side that doesn't like how the song reduces talented actresses' accomplishments to some fleeting nude scene in a way that simply can't be done in a similarly insulting way for male actors. Then again, one could argue that this is the hallmark of a great gag: you laugh and cringe at the same time. Extra credit for the convoluted time-travel set-up, by the way, which allowed Seth to do the bit while also openly acknowledging how inappropriate it is. Extra credit also for stating what we all know to be true: Kate Winslet invariably takes off her clothes in every movie.
2. We have mixed feelings about "We Saw Your Boobs." Hmmm. The juvenile side of us finds it quite hilarious, especially given the many hours we logged long ago (not now, of course, don't be silly) looking for naked scenes in movies. But there's also a side of us that's a little offended, a side that doesn't like how the song reduces talented actresses' accomplishments to some fleeting nude scene in a way that simply can't be done in a similarly insulting way for male actors. Then again, one could argue that this is the hallmark of a great gag: you laugh and cringe at the same time. Extra credit for the convoluted time-travel set-up, by the way, which allowed Seth to do the bit while also openly acknowledging how inappropriate it is. Extra credit also for stating what we all know to be true: Kate Winslet invariably takes off her clothes in every movie.
3. The Captain Kirk thing went on too long. We're in agreement on that, right?
4. That's surely the first Smokey and the Bandit reference on network TV in since the 1990s. "We're gonna do what they say cain't be done." Aside: there is no obvious evidence of medical intervention on Sally Field's face.
5. A shocking win for Christoph Waltz and Django Unchained. Wow. Is it just us or is Waltz essentially playing the same character that won him the Oscar for Inglourious Basterds? They sound... exactly... the same. It's the same guy, people. Guess you have to give the Academy credit for consistency. They really really like whatever it is Waltz has been doing. Maybe he should keep doing it.
5. A shocking win for Christoph Waltz and Django Unchained. Wow. Is it just us or is Waltz essentially playing the same character that won him the Oscar for Inglourious Basterds? They sound... exactly... the same. It's the same guy, people. Guess you have to give the Academy credit for consistency. They really really like whatever it is Waltz has been doing. Maybe he should keep doing it.
6. Any acceptance speech that isn't just a list of names is a good one in our book. We often wonder if the Oscars should somehow come with closed-captions so viewers at home can keep track of the agents, producers, publicists, and attorneys getting name-checked at the podium.
7. If there is any equal of our beloved filmmaker Steven Soderbergh, it's probably Ang Lee. Both of them refuse to be pigeonholed in a single style, choosing instead to travel in a variety of genres. Westerns, sci-fi, superheroes, thrillers, heists, fantasy, period drama. They don't always succeed, but their efforts are always intriguing. We could use more directors like this.
8. For these overviews of the Best Picture nominees, why can't they show a single powerhouse scene to really take us into the movie? Why do we instead get these trailer-like montages?
9. Maybe Joss Whedon should have written the banter for The Avengers actors. Awkward and unfunny.
10. We felt bad that the visual effects guy was cut off by the Jaws theme, especially since he was trying to talk about the fragile, hopelessly dysfunctional state of the visual effects industry. But these people were surely all told a million times how much time they had and what would happen if they ran over. If he wanted to preach about visual effects finances, he should have started sooner. What if everyone were indulged and allowed to talk as long as they wanted? Dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria.
11. How embarrassing would it be if the winner for Best Costume Design showed up wearing something really ugly? Would the Oscar win offset any perception of fashion incompetence? Could they still get hired? These are the things we think about.
9. Maybe Joss Whedon should have written the banter for The Avengers actors. Awkward and unfunny.
10. We felt bad that the visual effects guy was cut off by the Jaws theme, especially since he was trying to talk about the fragile, hopelessly dysfunctional state of the visual effects industry. But these people were surely all told a million times how much time they had and what would happen if they ran over. If he wanted to preach about visual effects finances, he should have started sooner. What if everyone were indulged and allowed to talk as long as they wanted? Dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria.
11. How embarrassing would it be if the winner for Best Costume Design showed up wearing something really ugly? Would the Oscar win offset any perception of fashion incompetence? Could they still get hired? These are the things we think about.
12. Very exciting! Fifty years of James Bond... but then all we get is a long montage clip. At the very least, shouldn't the six Bond actors stroll out on stage in matching tuxedos to thunderous applause? Then we learned from Deadline's Nikki Finke that Connery hates the Broccoli family. How petty.
13. It feels wrong to hear Halle Berry say "Pussy Galore."
14. Shirley Bassey is still alive? Huh.
15. If you can't get the Bond actors, then the next best thing would have been to coax to the stage McCartney for "Live and Let Die" (best Bond song ever) and Carly Simon for "Nobody Does It Better" to hit the trifecta.
13. It feels wrong to hear Halle Berry say "Pussy Galore."
14. Shirley Bassey is still alive? Huh.
15. If you can't get the Bond actors, then the next best thing would have been to coax to the stage McCartney for "Live and Let Die" (best Bond song ever) and Carly Simon for "Nobody Does It Better" to hit the trifecta.
16. At this point, stand-up comedy and sitcoms are just an amusing footnote to Jamie Foxx's career, aren't they?
17. The orchestra is up the street and around the corner in the Capitol Building. Why?
18. An homage to classic movie musicals... of the last ten years only... and one of which is up for Best Picture this year. We liked the Les Miserables showstopper, but in general, this felt like a waste of 15 minutes. It was pointed out to us later that the people who are producing the Oscars - producers Neil Meron and Craig Zadan - are Broadway guys who helped make Chicago. Now it's starting to make sense, isn't it?
19. This goes without saying, but we'll say it anyway. It is absolutely ridiculous what filmmakers can do with computer technology (even as they run effects companies into the ground - see #10 above). It's easy to spot big tentpole effects of dinosaurs and aliens and nuclear holocausts, sure. But the majority of the effects work that you see in movies is completely seamless and rendered so realistically and vividly that you'd never guess it was an effect at all.
19. This goes without saying, but we'll say it anyway. It is absolutely ridiculous what filmmakers can do with computer technology (even as they run effects companies into the ground - see #10 above). It's easy to spot big tentpole effects of dinosaurs and aliens and nuclear holocausts, sure. But the majority of the effects work that you see in movies is completely seamless and rendered so realistically and vividly that you'd never guess it was an effect at all.
20. We laughed out loud at the Von Trapp "They're gone!" gag. Sorry.
21. As is often the case, Best Supporting Actress goes to the ingenue. Oscar loves anointing cute young women. Here, we get Anne Hathaway doing her "oh my gosh I'm so excited" routine yet again. The realest thing about her acceptance speech is the weirdly craven moment she whispered "It came true" to her new Oscar. We suppose we should all be happy for her, finally achieving her goal. Doesn't she know you're supposed to pretend to be above it all and not want it that badly? She really is like the annoying perky, hammy, isn't-it-swell? theater arts student. That said, we can't fault her for her talent. She has the goods. Hathaway was easily the best thing in The Dark Knight Returns and The Devil Wears Prada is way underrated.
22. Sit down,Harvey Weinstein, you're in the shot!
23. Okay
okay, Adele's song "Skyfall" is definitely growing on us.
24. If Kristen Stewart doesn't want to be there on stage giving out an award, why is
she there?
25. Stuntman (and member of the weird 1970s Burt Reynolds royal court) Hal Needham gets an honorary Oscar. Big cable staple growing up: Needham's film Hooper. No CGI back then. You're really driving cars under collapsing brick smokestacks.
26. And now... "In Memoriam." Or, that part of the show where you say "I didn't know he/she died!"
27. Here we go again with more Chicago love. Good grief. It was a great movie, yes. But it was ten years ago and the show's now devoted two segments to reminding us about it. Memo to Oscar producers: no one cares. How about some random celebrations of Shakespeare in Love or Forrest Gump or while you're at it? We saw a tweet that said the producers are making the Oscars into the Tonys so they can get a job producing the Emmys. Zing!
28. Why is ABC making Seth do his own "coming up next" bumpers? Could they not hire an announcer?
29. Quentin Tarantino is a polarizing figure, but count us among his fans. That said, this is an unexpected win for him. Inglourious Basterds was more deserving. Does this mean Hollywood likes him? It's his second Oscar for writing, so this certainly seems like validation.
30. Jennifer Lawrence falls on the way up the steps, a humiliating moment that instantly mutes any Hathaway-ian criticism. To us, Lawrence is like Sandra Bullock with more talent and gravitas, the cute-but-gawky girl next door who finds Hollywood politics rather amusing and any talk of her a sex symbol to be utterly ridiculous.
32. Daniel Day Lewis wins for Lincoln. You could have written it down back when Spielberg cast him two years ago. That's about as stone cold a lock as Oscars give these days.
33. We
like the First Lady, but please get out of our Oscarcast, Michelle Obama. We're trying to
go to bed. Enough of these gimmicky shenanigans. Open the envelope and let's call it a night.
34. The more we think about it, the sillier it seems to have this many Best Picture nominees. Five was a nice round number. You get two critics' choice front runners, a populist box office hit, an arty indie, and a dark horse. It made sense. Now it's just this weird free for all. Five one year, ten the next. Stop the madness.
35. Argo deserved it.
Here's what we said about the 83rd Annual Academy Awards. You know, the year The King's Speech won. And the 81st Annual Academy Awards. The year that Slumdog Millionaire won.
34. The more we think about it, the sillier it seems to have this many Best Picture nominees. Five was a nice round number. You get two critics' choice front runners, a populist box office hit, an arty indie, and a dark horse. It made sense. Now it's just this weird free for all. Five one year, ten the next. Stop the madness.
35. Argo deserved it.
Here's what we said about the 83rd Annual Academy Awards. You know, the year The King's Speech won. And the 81st Annual Academy Awards. The year that Slumdog Millionaire won.
2.25.2013
Knee-jerk review: ABC's "Oscars Red Carpet Live"
1. The Cheese Fry once lived around the corner from the theater formerly known as the Kodak. Oscar week was always a nuisance of street closures and bright lights. We walked down there a few times mid-week to see the bleachers going up and the red carpet laid out (always covered with plastic until the last second) or the giant wooden Oscar sentries rolled into place. And then the day of the event, the sky would be filled with noisy helicopters, the streets with stretch limos. Cool, huh? Maybe it wasn't such a nuisance after all.
2. We want to like Kristin Chenoweth. We do. But we can't. She seems to be trying... oh... so... hard. Her neck cords are always popping and straining. And why is she the one doing the red carpet interviews? Was Terri Hatcher and Kelly Ripa busy? Then again, at least Kristin has been in movies. Kelly Rowland is even more of a mystery hire.
3. Nice shot of the long red-carpeted staircase leading up to the theater lobby. You'd never guess those heavy red drapes on the sides are hiding tourist-trap mall stores like an ice cream shop and a perfume discount outlet.
4. There's always someone who shows up on the red carpet who completely enrages us because of their mere "why-did-you-get-invited?" inclusion. Who will it be this year?
5. We have succumbed to Channing Tatum's charms. Sorry.
6. The "Hooray for Hollywood" Diet Coke spot gets us every time. Subtle, classy, and perfectly capturing our rose-tinted, magic-houred nostalgia for the magical way movies used to be made in an organized studio system. Also a nice shout-out to the people who stick the signs on the billboards - they're important too.
7. We heard nasty rumors about Lara Spencer's cold-blooded ambition, but can't remember the details. Does that mean we shouldn't still dislike her? Because we do.
8. We remain fascinated by this obsession with celebrity fashion and the shallow "who are you wearing?" question. Was it Joan Rivers who started this nonsense on her E! shows? We get the appeal from an old-Hollywood glamour angle. These are attractive, larger-than-life figures dolled up to look their absolute best. But there's now also this ridiculous need to rank best-dressed and worst-dressed. Don't these people live with enough scrutiny already? It's enough.
9. Entertainment Weekly editor Jess Cagle seems like a classy dude. And he's out in the red carpet hinterlands on Highland Avenue interview Daniel Radcliffe, who always looks startled.
10. We harbor a long-standing crush on Naomi Watts, but she doesn't look so good tonight. And with that... we just became a part of the problem we attacked in number 8 above. 11. "Oscar Road Trip." What a clever promotion, letting ordinary moviegoers hold an Oscar and get tickets to the show (or is it just tickets to the red carpet grandstands?). Sometimes it seems like the audience is barely a factor, doesn't it?
12. It really is all about Kristin Chenoweth in these interviews. Jeez.
13. "I think she looks pretty there," says Mrs. Fry regarding Nicole Kidman. We, however, note that her face doesn't much move above the nostrils.
14. Nice moment where we get a glimpse of what it's like to shuffle down the red carpet for dozens of whirring cameras. A friend who worked in the TV world says this is called "step and repeat." Smile, pose, walk two steps, smile, pose.
15. Mention now of another great program, this one that brings film students to Hollywood to learn about the Academy and Hollywood filmmaking. These kinds of outreach programs are so great, but we hadn't heard about it until now. Same with that "Oscar Road Trip." Shouldn't that better-publicized to generate goodwill?
16. We just noticed there's no Ryan Seacrest. No wonder we're enjoying ourselves.
17. That Oscar Mystery item better be something real and cool after all of this awkward build-up. (Update: it is. A pair of ruby slippers from The Wizard of Oz.)
18. The people sliding past DeNiro as he gives his red carpet interview. We wonder if they're nudging each other and whispering, "There's DeNiro!" "I know!"
19. The 44-year-old Jennifer Aniston is aging oh so well. That is all. Sigh.
20. Adele is towering over Chenoweth. Looks like Adele could pop her in her mouth like a Gummi Bear. We wish she would.
21. Oh, George Clooney and his little trophy girlfriends. What a life.
22. Whispered reverentially by Mrs. Cheese Fry regarding Sandra Bullock: "I love her."
23. Sorry, but Anne Hathaway has become insufferable with her phony humility and false modesty. She's her own biggest fan. We're not saying this isn't true about every actor, but she's got to do better at hiding it.
24. We barely recognized Renee Zellweger. It's almost tragic the way actresses feel a compulsion to get cosmetic work done.
25. Cool how the people in the show's control room are all wearing tuxedos.
26. At this point, hip-hop is just an amusing footnote to Queen Latifah's career, isn't it?
2. We want to like Kristin Chenoweth. We do. But we can't. She seems to be trying... oh... so... hard. Her neck cords are always popping and straining. And why is she the one doing the red carpet interviews? Was Terri Hatcher and Kelly Ripa busy? Then again, at least Kristin has been in movies. Kelly Rowland is even more of a mystery hire.
3. Nice shot of the long red-carpeted staircase leading up to the theater lobby. You'd never guess those heavy red drapes on the sides are hiding tourist-trap mall stores like an ice cream shop and a perfume discount outlet.
4. There's always someone who shows up on the red carpet who completely enrages us because of their mere "why-did-you-get-invited?" inclusion. Who will it be this year?
5. We have succumbed to Channing Tatum's charms. Sorry.
6. The "Hooray for Hollywood" Diet Coke spot gets us every time. Subtle, classy, and perfectly capturing our rose-tinted, magic-houred nostalgia for the magical way movies used to be made in an organized studio system. Also a nice shout-out to the people who stick the signs on the billboards - they're important too.
7. We heard nasty rumors about Lara Spencer's cold-blooded ambition, but can't remember the details. Does that mean we shouldn't still dislike her? Because we do.
8. We remain fascinated by this obsession with celebrity fashion and the shallow "who are you wearing?" question. Was it Joan Rivers who started this nonsense on her E! shows? We get the appeal from an old-Hollywood glamour angle. These are attractive, larger-than-life figures dolled up to look their absolute best. But there's now also this ridiculous need to rank best-dressed and worst-dressed. Don't these people live with enough scrutiny already? It's enough.
9. Entertainment Weekly editor Jess Cagle seems like a classy dude. And he's out in the red carpet hinterlands on Highland Avenue interview Daniel Radcliffe, who always looks startled.
10. We harbor a long-standing crush on Naomi Watts, but she doesn't look so good tonight. And with that... we just became a part of the problem we attacked in number 8 above. 11. "Oscar Road Trip." What a clever promotion, letting ordinary moviegoers hold an Oscar and get tickets to the show (or is it just tickets to the red carpet grandstands?). Sometimes it seems like the audience is barely a factor, doesn't it?
12. It really is all about Kristin Chenoweth in these interviews. Jeez.
13. "I think she looks pretty there," says Mrs. Fry regarding Nicole Kidman. We, however, note that her face doesn't much move above the nostrils.
14. Nice moment where we get a glimpse of what it's like to shuffle down the red carpet for dozens of whirring cameras. A friend who worked in the TV world says this is called "step and repeat." Smile, pose, walk two steps, smile, pose.
15. Mention now of another great program, this one that brings film students to Hollywood to learn about the Academy and Hollywood filmmaking. These kinds of outreach programs are so great, but we hadn't heard about it until now. Same with that "Oscar Road Trip." Shouldn't that better-publicized to generate goodwill?
16. We just noticed there's no Ryan Seacrest. No wonder we're enjoying ourselves.
17. That Oscar Mystery item better be something real and cool after all of this awkward build-up. (Update: it is. A pair of ruby slippers from The Wizard of Oz.)
18. The people sliding past DeNiro as he gives his red carpet interview. We wonder if they're nudging each other and whispering, "There's DeNiro!" "I know!"
19. The 44-year-old Jennifer Aniston is aging oh so well. That is all. Sigh.
20. Adele is towering over Chenoweth. Looks like Adele could pop her in her mouth like a Gummi Bear. We wish she would.
21. Oh, George Clooney and his little trophy girlfriends. What a life.
22. Whispered reverentially by Mrs. Cheese Fry regarding Sandra Bullock: "I love her."
23. Sorry, but Anne Hathaway has become insufferable with her phony humility and false modesty. She's her own biggest fan. We're not saying this isn't true about every actor, but she's got to do better at hiding it.
24. We barely recognized Renee Zellweger. It's almost tragic the way actresses feel a compulsion to get cosmetic work done.
25. Cool how the people in the show's control room are all wearing tuxedos.
26. At this point, hip-hop is just an amusing footnote to Queen Latifah's career, isn't it?
2.20.2013
"All work and no play"
The Shining isn't a great movie (it's a little dull and rather obtuse), but it's certainly a memorable one. It has several creepy moments seared into our collective subconscious. Would you want to watch the bit with the twin girls alone at night? Neither would we. But most of all, it's a Kubrick movie, which means there is no shortage of subtext and depth and purpose to every shot, every line, every composition. Nothing is left to chance, which is why Kubrick movies can inspire mania and obsession. Our favorite is 2001: A Space Odyssey. We'll read anything about the making of that movie, the meaning of that movie, the making of the meaning of that movie.
Pixar filmmaker Lee Unkrich's obsession is The Shining. His website TheOverlookHotel.com is chock full of factoids and pictures and artwork about the movie. Our favorite is his post about the fictional Overlook Hotel keychains. How obscure can you get? And are they for sale?
Pixar filmmaker Lee Unkrich's obsession is The Shining. His website TheOverlookHotel.com is chock full of factoids and pictures and artwork about the movie. Our favorite is his post about the fictional Overlook Hotel keychains. How obscure can you get? And are they for sale?
A patchwork of NFL fanatics
For once, Facebook isn't a useless timesuck. A Sean Taylor used the website recently to analyze users' NFL team favorites and develop a map of NFL allegiances during the regular season (we duly note the kingdom of the Cowboys in the south - only the Broncos can boast a similarly large geographic area), then compared that map to some of the playoff rounds as teams started dropping out.
2.17.2013
Blurry boys, blurry boys
This article from Entertainment Weekly's Dan Snierson about the post-production technician who blurs out the naughty bits on Fox's "Cops" is exactly the sort of genius pop culture investigation that the Cheese Fry loves. We wish we'd thought of it.
2.01.2013
Knee-jerk review: FX's "The Americans"
1. Did we just find a new favorite show? It may be too soon to tell, but we have very high hopes. We will be back for more.
2. We've always been rather lukewarm on Kerri Russell, but she is no joke here as a fierce, rigid, rather humorless KGB agent pretending to be an all-American housewife. She's got the goods.
3. Is "In the Air Tonight" still a powerful song in its own right (those are some seriously dark, foreboding lyrics) or is it more of a lazy way to reference the 1980s? Should any serious producer ever include Phil Collins on a soundtrack unless there's clear irony present? These are the questions we ask ourselves.
4. Speaking of music, what was that song that played over the opening operation? Catchy and strange.
5. Remember pay phones?
6. Has there ever been a sub-par FX drama? Even flops like "Dirt" or "Lights Out" were visionary and fearless in their own way. This is what the freedom of cable broadcasting provides writers and producers.
7. That's some serious damage done by a barbecue fork. Remind us not to ever make creepy sexual overtures to the underage daughter of a secret KGB agent.
8. Agreed, it's a pretty big coincidence that the FBI agent moves in right across the street, but we'll allow it given the conflict and tension such an arrangement will surely create. It's easy to see the KGB agent and the FBI agent becoming friends, which will add another layer of complications for everyone.
9. Clever also that the writers painted the FBI agent as a habitually suspicious character, thus explaining why he does the rather extreme things he does at the end of the pilot.
10. It's a very strange feeling indeed to be rooting for the Evil Empire.
2. We've always been rather lukewarm on Kerri Russell, but she is no joke here as a fierce, rigid, rather humorless KGB agent pretending to be an all-American housewife. She's got the goods.
3. Is "In the Air Tonight" still a powerful song in its own right (those are some seriously dark, foreboding lyrics) or is it more of a lazy way to reference the 1980s? Should any serious producer ever include Phil Collins on a soundtrack unless there's clear irony present? These are the questions we ask ourselves.
4. Speaking of music, what was that song that played over the opening operation? Catchy and strange.
5. Remember pay phones?
6. Has there ever been a sub-par FX drama? Even flops like "Dirt" or "Lights Out" were visionary and fearless in their own way. This is what the freedom of cable broadcasting provides writers and producers.
7. That's some serious damage done by a barbecue fork. Remind us not to ever make creepy sexual overtures to the underage daughter of a secret KGB agent.
8. Agreed, it's a pretty big coincidence that the FBI agent moves in right across the street, but we'll allow it given the conflict and tension such an arrangement will surely create. It's easy to see the KGB agent and the FBI agent becoming friends, which will add another layer of complications for everyone.
9. Clever also that the writers painted the FBI agent as a habitually suspicious character, thus explaining why he does the rather extreme things he does at the end of the pilot.
10. It's a very strange feeling indeed to be rooting for the Evil Empire.
Six movies released in 2012 we didn't see in a theater
With appropriate gratitude to Time Warner Cable's "On Demand" service, we give you six movies we wanted to see in theaters last year but could not due to the Li'l Frys.
1 Battleship is Pearl Harbor meets Transformers, which we intend as the worst possible insult imaginable. A loud, stupid, formulaic train wreck of a movie that never met a cliche it didn't want to run right into the ground. We were shocked by how boring and tedious so much of it truly was given the multi-million-dollar visual effects. Even if it's empty-headed, shouldn't it be fun? Not even Liam Neeson escapes unscathed. Up to now, we'd been big fans of director Peter Berg. He'll have to win us back over now.
2 End of Watch strings together visceral, gritty moments of life as an LAPD street cop working the worst neighborhoods. There's no doubt the movie is doing an expert job of showing us what it's really like out there. Writer-director David Ayer has practically made a career out of making movies about urban cops (if you haven't seen Training Day, what are you waiting for?). The problem is that you keep waiting for a plot that never arrives. Things start to unravel towards the end as it becomes clear our heroes have stumbled onto some kind of cartel operation and things end in a predictably bloody climax. But up until then, mostly it's just a this-happed, then-this-happened episodic sort of story. It's well-made, sure. It just doesn't add up to anything. What was the point?
3 Looper reminds us how hard it is to tell a good time-travel story. Filmmakers can easily get completely sidetracked by endless paradoxes and distracting plot holes. But when it's done right, there's something weirdly primal about the ability to go back and change the past (or keep it from being changed by some nefarious future). It's why The Terminator and Back to the Future are such beloved classics. Looper doesn't hit those highs, but it comes close, mostly because it doesn't spend a whole lot of time on time travel mechanics. Instead, the movie puts two versions of the same character together and then watches the fallout: a young man (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) faces his future, an older man (Bruce Willis) faces his past. Both can only survive if the other is destroyed. It's more drama than sci-fi. There's a lot here that's quite genius. People have quibbled about the "impossible" ending, but as catharsis, it's perfect.
4 Magic Mike is probably one of the very best melodramas you'll ever see about ambition. How much are you willing to pay for fame and fortune? When do youthful dreams give way to more adult realities? At what point do you cut your losses and accept your fate? Director Steven Soderbergh is our very favorite filmmaker and so it's no surprise that he's cranked out - in our eyes - another mini-masterpiece of mood, character, and style. The camera angles, the pacing, the performances, all top notch. We're finally starting to understand what all the fuss is about over Channing Tatum. Did we mention this is a movie about male strippers in Tampa, Florida and features Matthew McConaughey in full-on shirtless self-parody? Without question, this should be a laughable Lifetime TV movie clunker. And yet it is not.
5 Pitch Perfect may be a rip-off Fox's "Glee" in that both are about misfits who find identity, love, and purpose through school singing groups. But the movie improves on the Fox recipe. "Glee" can be frustratingly inconsistent, silly, and implausible, often turning itself in knots to hit big moments whether it all makes sense or not. Pitch Perfect doesn't have those problems, perhaps in part because it's happy to embrace the romantic comedy/misfit college comedy formula (uptight girl learns to let go, introverted angry chick opens up and finds love, underdogs triumph over the favorites, etc), rather than work so hard trying to upend them like "Glee." Sometimes, cliches work because they're tried and true. Anna Kendrick seems to be an acquired taste we haven't yet fully acquired, but the real standout is Rebel Wilson as Fat Amy.
6 Seeking a Friend for the End of the World wins points for fully committing to its apocalyptic premise, though the low-budget, indie-sensibility does sometimes undermine the film's realism, like when it's clear the producers couldn't afford a jet plane and had to settle for a prop plane. The movie mostly succeeds at walking a shaky line between two kinds of comedies: the dry black kind and the whimsical romantic kind. Keira Knightley (ridiculously pretty) plays the role of the Quirky Artsy Girl you've seen countless times before, while Steve Carrell does his usual sad-sack-with-a-mean-streak routine. Nothing new, really. But it's mixed together well. Lots of amusing cameos and detours.
1 Battleship is Pearl Harbor meets Transformers, which we intend as the worst possible insult imaginable. A loud, stupid, formulaic train wreck of a movie that never met a cliche it didn't want to run right into the ground. We were shocked by how boring and tedious so much of it truly was given the multi-million-dollar visual effects. Even if it's empty-headed, shouldn't it be fun? Not even Liam Neeson escapes unscathed. Up to now, we'd been big fans of director Peter Berg. He'll have to win us back over now.
2 End of Watch strings together visceral, gritty moments of life as an LAPD street cop working the worst neighborhoods. There's no doubt the movie is doing an expert job of showing us what it's really like out there. Writer-director David Ayer has practically made a career out of making movies about urban cops (if you haven't seen Training Day, what are you waiting for?). The problem is that you keep waiting for a plot that never arrives. Things start to unravel towards the end as it becomes clear our heroes have stumbled onto some kind of cartel operation and things end in a predictably bloody climax. But up until then, mostly it's just a this-happed, then-this-happened episodic sort of story. It's well-made, sure. It just doesn't add up to anything. What was the point?
3 Looper reminds us how hard it is to tell a good time-travel story. Filmmakers can easily get completely sidetracked by endless paradoxes and distracting plot holes. But when it's done right, there's something weirdly primal about the ability to go back and change the past (or keep it from being changed by some nefarious future). It's why The Terminator and Back to the Future are such beloved classics. Looper doesn't hit those highs, but it comes close, mostly because it doesn't spend a whole lot of time on time travel mechanics. Instead, the movie puts two versions of the same character together and then watches the fallout: a young man (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) faces his future, an older man (Bruce Willis) faces his past. Both can only survive if the other is destroyed. It's more drama than sci-fi. There's a lot here that's quite genius. People have quibbled about the "impossible" ending, but as catharsis, it's perfect.
4 Magic Mike is probably one of the very best melodramas you'll ever see about ambition. How much are you willing to pay for fame and fortune? When do youthful dreams give way to more adult realities? At what point do you cut your losses and accept your fate? Director Steven Soderbergh is our very favorite filmmaker and so it's no surprise that he's cranked out - in our eyes - another mini-masterpiece of mood, character, and style. The camera angles, the pacing, the performances, all top notch. We're finally starting to understand what all the fuss is about over Channing Tatum. Did we mention this is a movie about male strippers in Tampa, Florida and features Matthew McConaughey in full-on shirtless self-parody? Without question, this should be a laughable Lifetime TV movie clunker. And yet it is not.
5 Pitch Perfect may be a rip-off Fox's "Glee" in that both are about misfits who find identity, love, and purpose through school singing groups. But the movie improves on the Fox recipe. "Glee" can be frustratingly inconsistent, silly, and implausible, often turning itself in knots to hit big moments whether it all makes sense or not. Pitch Perfect doesn't have those problems, perhaps in part because it's happy to embrace the romantic comedy/misfit college comedy formula (uptight girl learns to let go, introverted angry chick opens up and finds love, underdogs triumph over the favorites, etc), rather than work so hard trying to upend them like "Glee." Sometimes, cliches work because they're tried and true. Anna Kendrick seems to be an acquired taste we haven't yet fully acquired, but the real standout is Rebel Wilson as Fat Amy.
6 Seeking a Friend for the End of the World wins points for fully committing to its apocalyptic premise, though the low-budget, indie-sensibility does sometimes undermine the film's realism, like when it's clear the producers couldn't afford a jet plane and had to settle for a prop plane. The movie mostly succeeds at walking a shaky line between two kinds of comedies: the dry black kind and the whimsical romantic kind. Keira Knightley (ridiculously pretty) plays the role of the Quirky Artsy Girl you've seen countless times before, while Steve Carrell does his usual sad-sack-with-a-mean-streak routine. Nothing new, really. But it's mixed together well. Lots of amusing cameos and detours.
1.24.2013
Knee-jerk review: "Lincoln"
1. It's one of those movies that knows it's, like, really really important. Makes it a bit stiff.
2. It's also one of those movies that literally put us to sleep. It makes us feel like an uncultured, unwashed hooligan, but we can't lie to you. We fought it as best we could, but there was definitely a snore or two ripping through the auditorium. We used to get the same feeling back in the days when we had to watch foreign films at film festivals. They may have been profound and artful, but they had no concept of pacing and urgency. Those... things... dragged.... along.
3. The first hour here is rather tedious and sloggy, full of white men standing around in old costumes and crazy hair and pontificating.
4. The last 90 minutes... better. We stayed awake.
5. We'd like to think it was the full meal we'd just had or the medicine we took or the horrible seats we were stuck with. But then again, it could be that it was just dull.
6. Things perk up considerably when the movie moves away from the drawing room oratory and into something that involves, you know, conflict. The sequences involving the boisterous, cranky House of Representatives are compelling. You know the current members of that august body would love to have the chance to openly boo and insult one another as is depicted here.
7. We're also curious to see the movie that Spielberg only hints at in a couple of moments, the one that shows the horror of the Civil War with the same unblinking fascination with the violence men commit that gave such an undercurrent of dread to Saving Private Ryan.
8. Daniel Day Lewis. We get it. He's amazing. But there's something a little mannered and forced about his performances, don't you think? It's never as effortless and charming as, say, Meryl Streep.
9. On the bright side, the last mainstream Hollywood movie to put us to sleep in the theater was Gladiator and that won the Oscar for Best Picture. You're welcome, Steve.
10. You can tell the script was written by a playwright. There's a clear love of language and words. But there's also a theatrical, stage-bound quality to the action.
11. The broad strokes of the plot are intriguing, no question. The back-room deals and compromises and white lies and arm twisting and threats needed to end slavery. These are the kind of machinations that make the government run. We wish more of this sort of thing happened today. Too much of Washington is pitched to the TV cameras and talk radio shows. But we digress.
11. Weird how everyday citizens could have a meeting with the president back then.
12. Maybe we'll see it again some day. But we still have yet to rewatch Gladiator.
1.21.2013
"No, Mr. Bond, I expect a sizable return on my investment!"
Vulture.com recently explored the economic feasibility of some of the James Bond movie villain plans. No word on the financial impact of using a nuclear weapon to hold the world hostage (Thunderball), blowing up Berlin (Octopussy), or creating super races (Moonraker).
1.19.2013
Top ten 1980s all-slow-dance prom DJ playlist
Richard Marx, "Hold on to the Night"
The Bangles, "Eternal Flame"
Richard Marx, "Endless Summer Nights"
Phil Collins, "Groovy Kind of Love"
INXS, "Never Tear Us Apart"
Vanessa Williams, "Dreamin"
Peter Cetera and Amy Grant, "The Next Time I Fall"
Breathe, "How Can I Fall"
Bon Jovi, "Never Say Goodbye"
Deion Estes, "Heaven Help Me"
We're not proud of it, but it is what it was.
The Bangles, "Eternal Flame"
Richard Marx, "Endless Summer Nights"
Phil Collins, "Groovy Kind of Love"
INXS, "Never Tear Us Apart"
Vanessa Williams, "Dreamin"
Peter Cetera and Amy Grant, "The Next Time I Fall"
Breathe, "How Can I Fall"
Bon Jovi, "Never Say Goodbye"
Deion Estes, "Heaven Help Me"
We're not proud of it, but it is what it was.
What we'll miss most about Fox's "Fringe"
* Anna Torv's ponytail.
* The gruff professionalism of Agent Broyles.
* The dirigibles of Earth-2.
* Red licorice.
* The creepy, dead-eyed soullessness of the Observers, though we did always appreciate their retro attire and the slow, careful way they put on and took off their fedoras.
* The hubris of Walter Bishop and how his decision to steal his son's double almost destroyed not one, but two, universes. We're pretty sure that qualifies as an "unintended consequence."
* The feeling of being in an exclusive club of passionate fans. There was simply no way for someone unfamiliar with the show to drop in and sample an episode or two once the series got rolling, not with parallel universes and time-reboots. You'd sound like a crazy person just trying to explain all of the twists and turns. If you watched it, you got it. You were one of the few.
* The genius of John Noble. It's a great role and Noble knew it. Knocked it out of the park time and again. But Emmy would rather consider the overrated Hugh Laurie every year and that guy who plays Dexter.
* The perky patience of Astrid Farnsworth.
* Those giant floating words.
* The fearsome bad-assery of telekinetic Olivia Dunham.
* Repeated references to the wonder drug cortexiphan. We'll have to find ways to keep using the word in our everyday life. Won't be easy.
* Enjoying the thoughtful, literate episode recaps by Entertainment Weekly's Jeff Jensen.
* The whole alternate-universe season (number 3, if you're keeping track) that played so skillfully with the doubling of the series characters. This is a show that explored every angle of its gimmick premises.
* The white tulip postcard.
* Massive Dynamic. How scary-sounding does that company sound? What don't we do?
* The whole concept of amber as a tool not only to stop time-space fractures, but also to facilitate suspended animation. So clever. And so visual.
* The villainy of actor Michael Copsa.
* The patience of a major television network that could have easily pulled the plug on this show years ago. You can see the viewer numbers dwindle season by season, episode by episode. We'd like to think this is a sign of things to come as audiences become more fragmented and acclaimed-but-low-rated cable shows like "Breaking Bad" and "Justified" change the business model. But it's probably too soon to tell.
* The weird "glyphs" that closed each act and supposedly spelled a word linked to the episode plot.
* Season 5's gonzo decision to set every single episode in a distant dystopian future run by far-future-invaders. Audacious. But then, this was a show remaking itself every season. Sort of the same way "Lost" did, although we refuse to compare the two because of the disappointing, time-wasting fizzle that was "Lost's" final season.
* The way the show did science fiction the way it's supposed to be done, by using outlandish situations and crazy technology to ask big, weighty questions about what makes us who we are and what it means to be human.
* All those clever variations on the opening title sequence.
Entertainment Weekly counts down the show's best 19 episodes.
* The gruff professionalism of Agent Broyles.
* The dirigibles of Earth-2.
* Red licorice.
* The creepy, dead-eyed soullessness of the Observers, though we did always appreciate their retro attire and the slow, careful way they put on and took off their fedoras.
* The hubris of Walter Bishop and how his decision to steal his son's double almost destroyed not one, but two, universes. We're pretty sure that qualifies as an "unintended consequence."
* The feeling of being in an exclusive club of passionate fans. There was simply no way for someone unfamiliar with the show to drop in and sample an episode or two once the series got rolling, not with parallel universes and time-reboots. You'd sound like a crazy person just trying to explain all of the twists and turns. If you watched it, you got it. You were one of the few.
* The genius of John Noble. It's a great role and Noble knew it. Knocked it out of the park time and again. But Emmy would rather consider the overrated Hugh Laurie every year and that guy who plays Dexter.
* The perky patience of Astrid Farnsworth.
* Those giant floating words.
* The fearsome bad-assery of telekinetic Olivia Dunham.
* Repeated references to the wonder drug cortexiphan. We'll have to find ways to keep using the word in our everyday life. Won't be easy.
* Enjoying the thoughtful, literate episode recaps by Entertainment Weekly's Jeff Jensen.
* The whole alternate-universe season (number 3, if you're keeping track) that played so skillfully with the doubling of the series characters. This is a show that explored every angle of its gimmick premises.
* The white tulip postcard.
* Massive Dynamic. How scary-sounding does that company sound? What don't we do?
* The whole concept of amber as a tool not only to stop time-space fractures, but also to facilitate suspended animation. So clever. And so visual.
* The villainy of actor Michael Copsa.
* The patience of a major television network that could have easily pulled the plug on this show years ago. You can see the viewer numbers dwindle season by season, episode by episode. We'd like to think this is a sign of things to come as audiences become more fragmented and acclaimed-but-low-rated cable shows like "Breaking Bad" and "Justified" change the business model. But it's probably too soon to tell.
* The weird "glyphs" that closed each act and supposedly spelled a word linked to the episode plot.
* Season 5's gonzo decision to set every single episode in a distant dystopian future run by far-future-invaders. Audacious. But then, this was a show remaking itself every season. Sort of the same way "Lost" did, although we refuse to compare the two because of the disappointing, time-wasting fizzle that was "Lost's" final season.
* The way the show did science fiction the way it's supposed to be done, by using outlandish situations and crazy technology to ask big, weighty questions about what makes us who we are and what it means to be human.
* All those clever variations on the opening title sequence.
Entertainment Weekly counts down the show's best 19 episodes.
1.06.2013
Ten context-free topics from a night of four beers, two bars
1. The filmography of Lars von Trier
2. Types of beer (i.e. IPA vs IRA) and where they're brewed
3. 48 frames-per-second
4. San Francisco immigrant culture and cuisine
5. The Nike corporate campus
6. "Murder hole"
7. TNT's "Southland" and Fox's "The Good Guys"
9. Bush v. Gore
10. The hapless Mitt Romney campaign
2. Types of beer (i.e. IPA vs IRA) and where they're brewed
3. 48 frames-per-second
4. San Francisco immigrant culture and cuisine
5. The Nike corporate campus
6. "Murder hole"
7. TNT's "Southland" and Fox's "The Good Guys"
9. Bush v. Gore
10. The hapless Mitt Romney campaign
12.31.2012
Lifetime movie title generator
Just match a word from each column to come up with your own Lifetime movie title! Now you just have to cast an actress who used to be in a 1990s TV show.
| Pronoun | Adjective | Noun |
|---|---|---|
| Her | Mother's | Past |
| My | Deadly | Romance |
| The | Secret | Kidnapping |
| Their | Hidden | Stranger |
| His | Sister's | Student |
| Our | Dangerous | Sister |
There's always next season
As the season ends with a shameful fizzle for the Dallas Cowboys right on schedule, we decided to take stock of our own lackluster performance on the gridiron. We've been a member of one fantasy football league for 14 seasons now. We've never gone to the post-season, never even sniffed a championship.
Our cumulative record over these 14 season is 78-112-6, which works out to be a winning percentage of .397. Pretty good for a batter, horrible for a team sport. We lose more than we win. In fact, we almost lose two out of every three times we play.
And there isn't an obvious learning curve, either. Our worst record was 3-11, which we understandably put up in our first season when fantasy football was new to us. But then the posted that same 3-11 record in our 8th season. Our best season was our 11th, when we went 8-6. We've won 7 games only four times in 14 seasons (our 3rd, 9th, 12th, and 14th). Although maybe we are doing a little better. In the last four seasons, we've never won less than six games.
All of this obsession over a completely ridiculous waste of time that ruins Sundays more than makes Sundays enjoyable gives us a special affinity for this NFL spot that returns every winter:
In a previous post, we looked at the seven stages of fantasy football.
Our cumulative record over these 14 season is 78-112-6, which works out to be a winning percentage of .397. Pretty good for a batter, horrible for a team sport. We lose more than we win. In fact, we almost lose two out of every three times we play.
And there isn't an obvious learning curve, either. Our worst record was 3-11, which we understandably put up in our first season when fantasy football was new to us. But then the posted that same 3-11 record in our 8th season. Our best season was our 11th, when we went 8-6. We've won 7 games only four times in 14 seasons (our 3rd, 9th, 12th, and 14th). Although maybe we are doing a little better. In the last four seasons, we've never won less than six games.
All of this obsession over a completely ridiculous waste of time that ruins Sundays more than makes Sundays enjoyable gives us a special affinity for this NFL spot that returns every winter:
In a previous post, we looked at the seven stages of fantasy football.
12.30.2012
And our minivan towed the Queen Mary
Tonight we must have seen the Toyota Tundra-pulls-the shuttle commercial about 20 times. With each viewing, we grow more and more suspicious and skeptical. That little truck towed that giant, freakin' spaceship? Baloney. But Jalopnik explains how it worked. We stand corrected, Toyota.
12.28.2012
Knee-jerk review: "Django Unchained"
1. The D is silent, people.
2. "Audacious" is the word that comes to mind. Over the top.
3. And the blood, it does fly and spurt and gush and splatter. Consider yourself warned.
4. As usual, Tarantino holds his credit until after the final image, so after the last fade-to-black, audiences can get a final loud blast of cool music and then see the "Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino" card.
5. Will Smith turned this down for something called After Earth co-starring his smug son and directed by M. Night Shymalan of all people. We'll see how that works out for him.
6. It's probably got too many endings. Just when you think it's over... here comes another 20 minutes.
7. We hate the lynching scene. You'll know the one. Way too jokey and broad for what's otherwise a dark, gritty story. We can see the appeal of making fun of racist KKK-types, but it doesn't work. Including Jonah Hill was a mistake.
8. Tarantino has a way with words, no doubt. His dialogue is sterling as always. You can see how much the actors relish those lines and long speeches.
9. Everyone's making a big deal about Don Johnson's bit part. but we were underwhelmed.
10. We have no problem with bloody, gory shoot-outs, but we get very squeamish when it comes to hand-to-hand fighting involving cracking bones. Why is that?
11. Dig that retro Columbia Pictures logo.
12. We're curious to learn more about how African-American audiences respond to this. On one hand, it's clearly a populist revenge fantasy for slaves that does for racists what Inglourious Basterds did for Nazis. But on the other hand, it's clearly got roots in seedy 1970s exploitation movies that have fun looking down on lower classes and using historical "accuracy" to allow white folks to use the N-word and sexualize the subservience of African-American slave women.
13. Some pretty random flashbacks and flashforwards, if you ask us.
14. That is one long rifle.
15. Samuel L. Jackson steals the movie and that's a tall order given the showy, scenery-chewing performances by Leonardo DiCaprio and Christoph Waltz.
16. Why make the miners Australian? And why does Tarantino still feel the need to give himself a speaking part?
17. For us, the Tarantino gold standard remains Pulp Fiction, with Inglourious Basterds a photo-finish second.
18. The ending has narrative and structural parallels, believe it or not, with Star Wars. Discuss amongst yourselves.
19. The Brittle Brothers. What a great name.
20. If you like Tarantino, go see it.
2. "Audacious" is the word that comes to mind. Over the top.
3. And the blood, it does fly and spurt and gush and splatter. Consider yourself warned.
4. As usual, Tarantino holds his credit until after the final image, so after the last fade-to-black, audiences can get a final loud blast of cool music and then see the "Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino" card.
5. Will Smith turned this down for something called After Earth co-starring his smug son and directed by M. Night Shymalan of all people. We'll see how that works out for him.
6. It's probably got too many endings. Just when you think it's over... here comes another 20 minutes.
7. We hate the lynching scene. You'll know the one. Way too jokey and broad for what's otherwise a dark, gritty story. We can see the appeal of making fun of racist KKK-types, but it doesn't work. Including Jonah Hill was a mistake.
8. Tarantino has a way with words, no doubt. His dialogue is sterling as always. You can see how much the actors relish those lines and long speeches.
9. Everyone's making a big deal about Don Johnson's bit part. but we were underwhelmed.
10. We have no problem with bloody, gory shoot-outs, but we get very squeamish when it comes to hand-to-hand fighting involving cracking bones. Why is that?
11. Dig that retro Columbia Pictures logo.
12. We're curious to learn more about how African-American audiences respond to this. On one hand, it's clearly a populist revenge fantasy for slaves that does for racists what Inglourious Basterds did for Nazis. But on the other hand, it's clearly got roots in seedy 1970s exploitation movies that have fun looking down on lower classes and using historical "accuracy" to allow white folks to use the N-word and sexualize the subservience of African-American slave women.
13. Some pretty random flashbacks and flashforwards, if you ask us.
14. That is one long rifle.
15. Samuel L. Jackson steals the movie and that's a tall order given the showy, scenery-chewing performances by Leonardo DiCaprio and Christoph Waltz.
16. Why make the miners Australian? And why does Tarantino still feel the need to give himself a speaking part?
17. For us, the Tarantino gold standard remains Pulp Fiction, with Inglourious Basterds a photo-finish second.
18. The ending has narrative and structural parallels, believe it or not, with Star Wars. Discuss amongst yourselves.
19. The Brittle Brothers. What a great name.
20. If you like Tarantino, go see it.
12.22.2012
And to all a Cheese Fry night
In the spirit of the season, here are links to Knee-Jerks we've done over the years to those great evergreen holiday TV specials:
And as a special treat, here's a vintage 1970s spot for Dolly Madison, long the sponsor of the CBS airing of "A Charlie Brown Christmas." We will always associate Charlie Brown with the "Zinger Zapper."
Knee-jerk review: "Silver Linings Playbook"
1. Bradley Cooper is the real deal. A movie star with legitimate chops.
2. We can only guess how hard it must have been to strike the right tonal balance with this material. Funny in places, sad in others, romantic in others. Football tailgating side by side with a dance competition and therapy sessions. What a hard movie to categorize. Or explain.
3. Weird title. Probably working against it.
4. Three Kings is still our favorite David O. Russell movie. But this is a close second. Not as grim and humorless as The Fighter.
5. The next time we're in a diner with Jennifer Lawrence, we're ordering raisin bran. Genius.
6. When was the last time Robert DeNiro had this kind of meaty dramatic role? Seems like lately he's doing the "DeNiro spoof" thing where he's mostly playing off his own persona rather than creating a new character.
7. What's most compelling about the movie, to us, is the idea that just about everyone, no matter how normal and ordinary they may seem, is actually grappling with some sort of secret dysfunction or burning unhappiness. Merry Christmas, moviegoers!
8. We won't hold against it the movie's obsession with the Philadelphia Eagles... or the way the one Dallas Cowboys fan is cast as a villain.
9. Jennifer Lawrence is a real woman in an industry full mostly of scrawny girls. That's a good thing. She's a real find.
10. Excelsior.
11. Best scene is probably the discussion of psychiatric drugs that plays like two film buffs talking about movies.
12. Where's Chris Tucker been? Probably counting all his Rush Hour 3 money. He's fun here, a reminder that he can be good in very small doses.
13. Clever script in the way the backstory unfolds organically throughout the story. There is no awkward infodump of exposition to explain everything. You have to pay attention to piece everything together. This is how it's done, people.
14. Still don't like Julia Stiles. Blech. We'd be miserable married to her, too.
15. Spoiler alert: a satisfying, old-school romantic comedy ending.
16. Worth a look.
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